Atlanta 2017 Convention

The RI Convention in Atlanta was a huge success with 40,000+ or - delegates including yours truly.

Just posting a few photos here of the Convention.  I spent all my time in the RAGES booth and missed all the plenary sessions.  We also had a great break out session courtesy of Rotary Host Organising Committee.  It was full and they closed the doors before we started.

Here in no particular order are some of the moments I remember best:



Happy to have a chat about the event when we have the time.  Also to promote Toronto 2018 and Hamburg 2019 Conventions.  Atlanta was my 7th Rotary International Convention and as memorable as my first in 2005 at Chicago.
Posted in Bulletins by John. Comments Off on Atlanta 2017 Convention

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-37

Week of 29 May


As this was the 5th Monday of the month, we had a special outing this week in lieu of our regular meeting.  We met at Coolamon Cheese with the Rotary Club of Temora and had a fine evening of fellowship and a fabulous meal prepared by Chef Chris of the cheese factory. Following our meal, host Barry Lillywhite led small tours of the production and cheese storage areas of the facility.  A joint fine session led by the Coolamon and Temora sergeants entertained the guests, and a raffle featuring three prizes of local produce finished off the evening.

 

 

Week of 5 June


This week's meeting was a club assembly, so not a lot to report.  However, we did have a notable event on the evening, which was farewelling longstanding member Ian Durham, who recently sold his property in Coolamon and will be moving to be closer to his partner, Christine.  Ian has been a member of our club for 17 years, and has contributed mightily over the years, most notably by heading up the telephone directory effort three years ago.  Henk presented Ian with a farewell gift, and thanked him for year many years of service.  You'll be missed Ian.  Best wishes in this new chapter of your life.



 

 

Reminder: No regular meeting this week (12 June)


Just a reminder that there is no regular meeting this week because of the public holiday.  Happy Birthday, your Royal Highness!

 

On the lighter side


Amazing technology

One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."

Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.  'There's a new diagnostic computer at Bloom's.  Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs only five bucks.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get club card points".

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Bloom's.  He deposits five dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and jerked off into the mixture for good measure.  Jack hurried back to Bloom's, eager to check what would happen. He deposited five dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer whirred for a little longer than he expected and then printed the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard.  Get a water softener.
2) Your cat's having kittens.  Get a vet.
3) Your dog has ringworm.  Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit.  Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant with twins; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
...
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better...

Thank you for shopping at Bloom's the Chemist!

 

The Puzzler


What can hold water even though it has holes?

 

Diary


Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen's birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 19 June: Regular meeting*. Guest Speaker: Lloyd Dolan, CSU School of Indigenous Australian Studies.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 26 June: Regular meeting. Planning meeting for President-Elect Paul's year at the helm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY
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Tracy Ochieng at University in Nairobi

Tracy our wonderful student from Mathare in Nairobi writes:

"Some of my pictures
This was after anatomy session

Made lotsa friends in school

The semester is really flying."


Tracy is in her first semester at the United States International University in Nairobi.  Tracy is doing her degree in Pharmacy.  Very proud of this young lady who is doing so well.


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Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-36

Week of 15 May


Our guest speaker at this week's meeting was Catherine Warren, who heads up the Riverina branch of Days for Girls, an international program to assist young women coming of age in Africa.  The focus of the group is to provide sustainable sanitary products for girls as they start their monthly cycles in order to allow them to stay involved in school and lead productive lives and not be relegated to a subservient lifestyle where they are often treated as second-class citizens (or worse) and their monthly cycle is viewed pretty much as a curse.  Local women in the shire meet once a month to sew and assemble the kits, which are distributed to girls in several African countries.  The sewing group made 50 kits over the past year, which Jan Breust presented to Catherine on the night.  Myffy thanked Catherine for a very impassioned presentation and gave her a kangaroo hide change purse as a token of thanks.

 


Week of 22 May


This week's meeting featured a presentation by guest speakers Gordon Saggers and Paul Galloway, members of the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga.  Gordon described their project in Timor L'Este, building a school for primary school children in Tutuala.  The school was desperately needed after the destruction of buildings as rebels pillaged the community as the local government took control of the area, including appropriating the tiny building that had functioned as the only school for the community.  A relatively modest expenditure of $30,000 was able to get the school built and equipped.  Gordon became aware of the needs of the community of Tutuala when he had recently visited to do free dental work for the residents of Timor L'Este (Gordon is a practicing dentist in Wagga).  Just another example of a high-impact project benefitting needy people and executed by dedicated and selfless Rotarians. Good on ya, boys! Julie Clark thanked Gordon & Paul, presenting them with a kangaroo hide coin pouch.



 

Reminder: No regular meeting this week (29 May)


Just a reminder that there is no regular meeting this week.  We'll be having a social night with the Rotary Club of Temora at Coolamon Cheese.

 

On the lighter side


International one-upsmanship
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50 m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100 m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200 m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.


The Puzzler


The Puzzler is on stress leave this week as he recovers from the rigours of work. Maybe next week...

Answer to last puzzle

The trees were arranged in a star pattern, with trees located at each point of the star and at the intersections of each line connecting the points to each other.


Diary


Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday), joint with Temora Rotary. Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 5 June: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen's birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-36

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-35

Week of 8 May


Another slow news week for Coolamon, but lots of plans are being laid (for the changeover, DISCON 2018, bingo, etc.).  We have an interesting speaker for the upcoming meeting on 15 May (Catherine Warren, who heads up Days for Girls, a program to assist young women coming of age in Africa).

 

On the lighter side


As a older man was driving down the freeway, his mobile phone rang. He answered the phone, and heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 290. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!!!"

 

The Puzzler


The government pays farmers a fee of $100 for each row of four trees they plant. An enterprising but dishonest farmer found a way of planting five rows of four trees using only ten trees. Can you work out how he did it?

Answer to last puzzle

The pictograms interpreted: 1) jack-in-the-box; 2) first aid; 3) eggs over easy; 4) for instance; 5) green with envy; 6) fat chance; 7) bigfoot; 8) sideshow; 9) travel overseas; 10) a friend in deed.

 

Diary


Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 17 May: Board meeting. Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence, 7:00 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 May: Bingo brainstorm meeting, Grahame & Sharon Miles' residence, 7:30 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

Monday, 5 June: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen's birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-35

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-34

Week of 1 May


It's been a slow news week, and yours truly has been overloaded with work, so there is no bulletin for this week.  The diary has been updated, but that's it.  Look for more next week!

 

Week of 24 April


This week’s meeting featured as guest speaker Jeremy Crocker, a Coolamon local who wears a variety of hats. Jeremy is a Coolamon Shire Councillor, but also manages the noxious weed control program for the shire. Interestingly, Jeremy came to speak to us in neither of those capacities, but as the chair of Coolamon Landcare, another of his hats! Jeremy described some of the projects being undertaken by the group, and shared some information about land development projects on the books for Coolamon. But Jeremy couldn’t stay away from his passion, fighting weeds, and then spent a bit of time talking about some of the major weed problems in the shire and some of the strategies being used to manage the more serious weeds. As there were a fair number of farmers and a weed scientist in the audience, this led to some interesting discussion about weed management. Who would have guessed? Steve Exton thanked Jeremy for an interesting and entertaining talk, and presented Jeremy with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch as token of appreciation. Following a rousing fine session led by Wayne and Dick, the evening concluded with a raffle of a commemorative ANZAC Day tin packed with ANZAC biscuits donated by Paul. Jeremy drew his own number out of the hat, but donated the prize back, which was eventually won by Neil.



 

On the lighter side


Horsing around
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse. “I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that stuff!”

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

A pony goes to the doctor and tells him, “Doc, I think I’m dying. I have this terrible sore throat." The doctor assures him, "It's okay—you’re just a little horse."

A horse sits down in a movie theatre and the woman next to him asks, "Excuse me… are you a horse?”
"Why yes, I am," replies the horse.
"What are you doing at this movie?"
The horse says, “I really liked the book."

A desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. The desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. The room goes dead silent. “I’m gonna have one more beer,” the desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, “and if my horse ain’t back where I left him when I’m done, I’ll do here what I had to do in Houston.” The locals murmur uneasily as the desperado sips his drink. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his horse has been returned. As the desperado saddles up, a local can’t help but ask, “Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?” The desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, “I had to walk home.”

Q: How do you make a small fortune breeding horses?
A: Start with a large fortune.

And last but not least...A horse walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?

 

The Puzzler


Can you work out the common word or phrase contained in the following pictograms?
1.
2. 

3. 

4. 

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

 

Answer to last puzzle

The missing number is 9.  The numbers in the triangles are the sum of the bottom two numbers minus the top number.

 

Diary


Monday, 1 May: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 May: Planning meeting/DISCON 2018. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 10 May: Bingo. Roster: Paul (Captain), Leslie, Garth, John N. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 17 May: Board meeting. Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence, 7:00 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 May: Bingo brainstorm meeting, Grahame & Sharon Miles' residence, 7:30 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-34

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-33

Weeks of 10 & 17 April


(this issue is a combined issue for two weeks since we had no meeting on 17 April because of the public holiday)

The meeting of 17 April featured the induction of our newest member, Julie Clark. Julie's mentor, Wayne Lewis, introduced Julie to the members and presented Julie with her dinner badge and Rotary pin after Don performed the formal induction. Julie is keen to get involved in club activities and will be part of the committee to review our bingo program and brainstorm ideas for the future. Welcome to the club, Julie!



 

Easter markets a big success!


Easter Saturday saw the town of Coolamon come alive with hundreds of visitors and scores of hot rods that paraded down the main street and lined up in the carpark outside the Sport and Rec Club. Our annual Easter Markets took place in the Up-To-Date Store and featured a full house of stall holders selling everything from honey to ladies' handbags.  The candy from the Junee Licorice and Chocolate factory was a top seller, but most stall holders left the event happy and with a lighter load than they came with.  An estimated 400-500 visitors came through the door, resulting in a generous boost to the club treasury.

A companion event, the annual Art Challenge organised by the Up-To-Date art committee, was held in the park between the two directions of traffic in the main street, and saw a dozen competitors turning ordinary chairs into works of art that were auctioned off as a fundraiser for the UTDS Art Show, to be held later this year.  The successful bidders left with one-of-a-kind works of art, but the masterpiece was the chair featuring an ANZAC Day theme painted by local sign painter Ricky Hard (it brought $250 at auction!).  Coolamon was a vibrant, buzzing town on the day, and it was great to see so many people out and about.  It was a great community event!







On the (not so) lighter side





The Puzzler


What number goes in place of the question mark in the diagram below?



Answer to last puzzle

The word that doesn't belong is "carrot".  All of the other words can form new words if the first and last letter of each is removed.  Try that with "carrot", and you're left with "arro", which is not a word in the English language!

 

Diary


Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am - 3:00 pm.

Monday, 1 May: Planning meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-33

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-32

Week of 3 April


This week's meeting was a club assembly, and a number of important issues were addressed.  A roster was begun for the markets at the Up-To-Date Store on Easter Saturday, but more help is needed.  Members who were unable to attend the meeting but are still keen to help out on the day are requested to contact Paul to get your name on the roster.  Members are asked to consider attending the upcoming Bingo, which will take place on Thursday, 13 April.  Also, board members are reminded to put date of Sunday, 30 April in their diaries; that's the date of the district training session for incoming directors.  The event will take place in West Wyalong from 10 am through 3 pm; a formal programme will be distributed in the near future.  Should be an interesting day!

We'll be inducting Julie Clark at Monday's meeting, so please plan to be there (and bring your partner!).



 

On the lighter side


This week we have a laugh at the expense of musos, especially those that play instruments that are not universally loved.  Read on and enjoy...

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Q: How do you make musicians complain?
A: Pay them.

Q: What’s the difference between a pianist and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a pianist.

Q: What’s the difference between terrorists and accordion players?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and five to sing about how good the old one was

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated pitch approximator.

Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When you toss a banjo into the bin and it hits an accordion.

Q: What will you never say about a banjo player?
A: "That's the banjo player's Porsche."

Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of range.

Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"
Friend: "I hope so."


The puzzler


One of the words in the following list does not belong. Can you pick it?

seventy
brawl
clover
proper
carrot
swing
change
travel
sacred
stone

Answer to the last Puzzler:

If you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide together in equal amounts, the acid neutralises the base and you're left with a solution of sodium chloride (salt water), which is harmless to drink (in moderate amounts!).

 

Diary


Monday, 10 April*: Regular meeting (and induction of Julie Clark). Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am - 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am - 3:00 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-32

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-31

Week of 27 March


Another great meeting!  A bit more subdued than last week's affair, but still a great opportunity for fellowship and learning a bit more about our newest member, Julie Clark (Julie has been accepted into membership, but won't be inducted for another week or two).  Julie has got to have one of the most interesting life stories of all our members, and has held interesting jobs everywhere from Tasmania to Perth (and many points in between!).  One of her more surprising occupations was driving massive trucks in the mines of Western Australia.  She's now selling honey out of Coolamon (her classification is "Purveyor of fine honey"). Julie will add yet another dimension to the club, and we look forward to her involvement.  Ian Jennings thanked Julie for a most interesting talk and presented her with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The meeting concluded with a brief fine session and a raffle, which was won once again by Helen "Lucky" Lewis.



 

On the lighter side


All the stories in our bulletin are fair dinkum, but there were many news articles of dubious authenticity that appeared in the media on Saturday, 1 April, including the following (copied from BBC News):
 

1. Trump buys Irish high-rise


If you believe the Irish Times, Dublin is to get its very own "Trump Tower". "Trump Dublin is expected to be completed by the end of 2018," it exclusively revealed.

Extra credit should go to whoever completed the joke with a fake tweet from Donald Trump: "Bought a small tower in Dublin, Ireland. We are going to build an awesome hotel in Dublin. It will be totally great. Love Ireland! Great country! #trumpdublin".
 

2. Russian hackers on demand


Inspired by claims that Kremlin-sponsored hackers tried to rig the US election, Russia's foreign ministry shared "a new answering machine for Russian diplomatic missions abroad" on Facebook.
"To arrange a call from a Russian diplomat to your political opponent, press 1," the fake switchboard message suggests. Your other options? "Press 2 to use the services of Russian hackers", or 3 "to request election interference."

3. Germany to go GMT


The scamps at the UK's German embassy tweeted that Germans would shortly vote to "leave, or remain in" Central European Time (CET). "A replica of the Shepherd Gate Clock in Greenwich would be placed atop the World Time Clock in Alexanderplatz, Berlin, in a frivolous symbolic gesture," the writer deadpanned.

The clues were there for linguists, however - the surname of the "government spokesperson" quoted - Frau Sommerzeit - translates as "Summertime".
 

4. Triple-decker plane


Emirates airline almost had us going with the claim that it's planning to unveil a triple-decker plane. Why? Time zones. The UAE gets to 1 April before the UK and without that all-important date-stamp... could it possibly - somehow - be true?

No, is the answer. The Dubai-based carrier has not designed a plane including "a swimming pool, games room, gym & park".


 

5. Canine cabin crew


Meanwhile in the Antipodes... Virgin Australia will be the first airline in the world to employ dogs as cabin staff, the company announced on Twitter.

While less useful in an emergency, these little guys might have been a loveable distraction at 40,000

feet.

 

The puzzler


Hydrochloric acid is a corrosive, fuming, poisonous, highly acidic solution of hydrogen chloride (HCl). Sodium hydroxide is a caustic, strongly alkaline compound (NaOH) used in drain cleaners. If ingested, hydrochloric acid corrodes the mucous membranes, esophagus, and stomach causing dysphagia, nausea, circulatory failure and death. Sodium hydroxide, if ingested, will cause vomiting, prostration, and collapse. Why is it that if you mix these two substances in the right proportions before ingesting them you will not have any poisoning symptoms?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

You were 1 km from the North pole, and walked in a straight line directly toward the pole, then continued in a straight line for one more km.
 

Diary


Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 10 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am - 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-31

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-30

Week of 20 March


What a ripper of an evening!  A large number of Rotarians (including many visiting from other clubs) and guests filled the restaurant at the Sport & Rec Club to witness the re-induction of former member Bruce Hamilton and hear some interesting and inspirational presentations by several exchange students and Judith Hall, chair of the District 9700  youth exchange program.  Special guests on the night included DGE George Weston and his wife, Carol, along with AG Bryan Short and his wife, Sally. Following Bruce's induction, we heard some truly inspirational talks by a current exchange student from Denmark who is finishing up a year in Leeton as well as an exchange student from D9700 who spent a year in Belgium several years ago.  Both students commented on how their experience abroad has changed their lives for the better, how their self-confidence has been boosted, and how they now have friends and family on both sides of the planet!  We also heard from Jackson Wykes, a Coolamon secondary student whom our club is supporting in his quest to be the next exchange student from D9700.  We wish Jackson the best in the interview process and hope he gets the chance to go abroad next year. 

 





 

On the lighter side


St Paddy's Day Reverie


Two men were sitting next to each other on St. Patrick's Day at Murphy’s Pub in London.  After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re

from Ireland.”

The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first one says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first one responds, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other bloke says, “A lovely little area it was.  I lived on McCleary Street in the old part of town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.”

The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I! Pray tell, what year did you graduate?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, let’s see.  I graduated in 1964.”

The first one exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smilin' down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!

At about this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

Vicky says, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

 

The puzzler


You start walking north and you walk in a straight line for two kilometers. When you look at the map, you discover that you actually walked one kilometer north and one kilometer south. How is this possible?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Three hens will lay one dozen eggs over 6 days. Explanation: An egg and a half laid by a hen and a half over a day and a half is equivalent to one egg laid per hen over a day and a half.  Thus, one hen will lay 4 eggs over 6 days, and thus three hens will lay 12 eggs over 6 days.

 

Diary


Monday, 27 March: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am - 2:00 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
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