Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-25

Week of 6 February


This week's meeting was a club assembly, which gave us some time to do some reflection of the NYE festival and some planning for the upcoming telephone directory and other activities.  It was a good way to get back into the swing of things after a lengthy time away from serious business.  The meeting finished right on 9:00, which is a great start to the new year because we'll need to be more mindful of the ending time as the club will not be keeping staff on beyond that time.  Speaking of the club, you might want to come to Monday's meeting (13 Feb) to hear an update on the status of the club by Trevor Jose, CEO of the sport & rec club.  

One other bit of news: Trevor Parkes is now home from hospital and recuperating!  He still has a bit of rehabilitation to undergo, but he has recovered from pacreatitis and is well on the path to normal activity. We look forward to having you back on board, Trevor!

 

On the lighter side


Here's a collection of quotes by a number of American talk show hosts and commetators over the course of the recent presidential campaign in the US.  Now that Trump is president, a lot of these quotes don't sound so funny, even if they're stretching the truth a bit!


“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won't do.”–Mitt Romney

“Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them 'anxious.' And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them 'Canadian.'”–Conan O'Brien

“Analysts say Hillary Clinton's plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as 'dangerous and bigoted.' She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.”—Conan O'Brien

“After he won yesterday's Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, 'I love the poorly educated.' Trump then said, 'And when I'm president there'll be more of them than ever.'” —Conan O'Brien

“Donald Trump said yesterday that if he's elected, he would 'probably not talk as much.' That's right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless.”—Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, 'They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.'”—Conan O'Brien

“A word association poll found the words most associated with Donald Trump are idiot, jerk, stupid, and dumb. In other words, he really could be our next president. He's got everything it takes.”—Conan O'Brien

 


The puzzler


Here's a visual puzzler submitted by John Glassford, who has disqualified himself from any prize.  Which container in the diagram below will fill with water first once the flow is turned on to container 1?

WaterFlowPuzzle

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The missing numbers are 12 and 11, in that order.  The order is important because the second number is subtracted from the first to give the first digit (or two) of the resulting number; the second two digits of the result are the sum of the two numbers on the left side of the equation.

 

Diary


*Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Trevor Jose, CEO Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, speaking on the status of the club.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 

Monday, 20 February: Regular meeting.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-25

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-24

Holiday Fellowship


A most enjoyable Christmas party was held at the residence of President Don and his partner Sally on 11 December.  As usual, we were treated to abundant appetizers, mains, and assorted desserts, along with great conversation and fellowship.  We hosted several members of the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga Wollundry, who presented President Don with a cheque for the assistance we provided Gears and Beers when it came through Coolamon in October.  The evening closed with a surprise performance by John Bond, who played an assortment of Christmas songs on his cello.

Xmas2016-1smXmas2016-4sm

Xmas2016-3sm

Because a number of members were unable to attend the Christmas party because of the late harvest, a special evening of fellowship was held at the residence of Grahame and Sharon Miles in early January.  It was a splendid evening of good food, drink and conversation, and the type of event that many would like to see repeated.  A full moon was a nice capstone to the wonderful event, and we thank Grahame and Sharon for hosting us on the evening.

Miles1-sm

Miles2-sm

Miles3-sm


 

Week of 23 January


The club has woken from its Christmas hibernation, and is starting to get back into action. This week’s meeting featured a bit of discussion regarding the New Year’s Eve festival and how it might be improved for next year. All in all, it was a successful evening, with the club distributing wrist bands to the nippers and serving up steak sandwiches and hot dogs from the food van. Proceeds of the food sales and raffle tickets more than covered the cost of giving away several hundred free hot dogs to the little ones. The NYE festival is a great community event, and one that generates good exposure for the club. It was a great way to see in the new year.

The club was treated to a most interesting life story delivered by our own John Bond. John has led an interesting life, and his involvement in electronic communication had taken him to many interesting, but remote, locations in Australia. John expertise in satellite communications made him a valuable asset in various military operations and ongoing surveillance of international activities. Dick thanked John for a very good talk, despite the absence of the club projector to display the images John had planned to present.

The evening concluded with a raffle and fellowship.

DickThanksJohnBond-sm

 

 

Week of 30 January


The club went on the road for our weekly meeting, catching up with mates in the Lockart club for a meal and fellowship at the Crossroads Hotel in Collingullie, halfway between Coolamon and Lockhart. Yours truly was unable to attend, but judging from the pics that were sent to me (see below), a good time was had by all. Our next meeting will be a club assembly on 6 Feb, so please make a point to come to this important planning meeting.

Gullie1-sm

Gullie3-sm

 

 

On the lighter side


Oy vey!


Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?"


Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."



When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"



The waiter says, "I don't know señor, I ask the cooks.



He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,"No señor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."



Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"



The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "gringos" replies, "I check once again, señor," and goes back into the kitchen.



While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ....Our people are scattered everywhere."



The waiter returns and says, "Señor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."



"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"



"Señor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter. "All we have is orange jews, grape jews, prune jews, tomato jews and apple jews, but no Mexican jews."


 

The puzzler


New maths

What two numbers belong in the spaces occupied by question marks in the last line of the following equations?

6 + 4 = 210
9 + 2 = 711
8 + 5 = 313
5 + 2 = 37
7 + 6 = 113
9 + 8 = 117
10 + 6 = 416
15 + 3 = 1218
?? + ?? = 123


Answer to the last Puzzler:

There seems to be more than one answer to the puzzle of which animals went to each child, but if you assume that three of each stuffed animal were distributed, there's only one correct answer: Alice received a bunny, puppy and bear, Ben: bunny, cat, deer; Carol: cat, puppy, bear; David: bunny, puppy, deer; and Edith: cat, bear and deer.  Seemples!


 

Diary


Monday, 6 February: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 February: Bingo. 6:45 pm.  Allawah Lodge. Roster: Henk (Captain), Dave, Ian D, Alex.

Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-24

2017-18 RI President Ian H.S. Riseley announces his presidential theme

2017-2018 President Ian Riseley's theme


Rotary's Theme for 2017-2018

Theme 2017-2018 Ian Riseley
Posted in Bulletins by John. Comments Off on 2017-18 RI President Ian H.S. Riseley announces his presidential theme

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-23

Week of 5 December


nye

Our last meeting of the year was a planning meeting for upcoming events.  A roster was drafted for the NYE festival in Coolamon, which has been circulated to members.  We also discussed the Easter markets, which should be a sizeable event this year because of the show and shine that held by the hot rod club of Narrandera in the streets of Coolamon.  A garden viewing is rumoured to be in the works for the same day, and visitors to the recently opened cheese factory may swell the attendance.


Our Christmas party will be held on Saturday, 10 December, so don't forget to bring your nominated food for the evening.  The event will take place at the Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence on Loughnan Street at 6:30 for 7 pm on December 10.  Be there or be square!

Best wishes for a safe and happy festive season.  Our meetings will resume on 23 January (details to be announced).  Rest up, and see you then!

 

Bingo - Don't forget - Really!


Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won't be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

The Lighter Side


 christmasgrouptherapy


dog-christmas

snowmanholdup

 

The puzzler


During a Christmas Party, Santa gave away several stuffed animals for the children.  Alice, Ben, Carol, David and Edith each receive three of the following stuffed animals:  bunny, cat, puppy, bear, or deer.  The only animal Alice and Ben have in common is a bunny.  The only animal Ben and Carol have in common is a cat.  The only animal Carol and David have in common is a puppy.  Ben did not receive a bear.

Name the stuffed animals that Alice, Ben, Carol, David and Edith each received.

 

Answer to last week's Puzzler:

The next number is 19.  The other numbers are the prime numbers, starting with 5. Coincidentally, the other numbers form a sequence obtained by adding two, then four, then two, etc., which would lead to the same answer (19).


 

Diary


Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence. 6:30 for 7:00 pm. Bring your nominated plate and drinks!

Monday, 23 January: First meeting of 2017. Details TBD.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-23

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-22

Week of 28 November


Because of the large number of members engaged with the harvest, we held a bowls and pizza night this week.  Nine members showed up on the night and enjoyed some social bowls and pizza cooked by the Sport & Rec Club staff.  The favourite pizza on the night was the ham & pineapple, followed closely by the supreme.  The big surprise of the night was Deadeye Glassford, who allegedly had never played lawn bowls before but made the winning shot for his side on the very last bowl of the night.  A good time was had by all, who left the club fully satiated.

 

Bingo - Don't forget


Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won't be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

The Lighter Side


Say what?


If you understand English, press 1.  If you do not understand English, press 2. - Recording on an Australian tax helpline.

I bought one of those CDs to teach you Spanish in your sleep.  During the night, the CD skipped, and now I can only stutter in Spanish – Steven Wright.

the-difference-grammar

lets-eat-grandma

subordinate-clauses

 

The puzzler


What number comes next in the diagonal sequence below?

numbersequence

 

Answer to last week's Puzzler:

The missing word was "htarw" ("wrath" spelled backwards).   The other words in the list were six of the seven deadly sins, all spelled backwards.


 

Diary


Monday, 5 December: Regular meeting (last meeting of 2016).  Guest speaker: Ben Delgarno, speaking on his planned trip to Cambodia and associated project.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 8 December: Bingo. Allawah Lodge. Roster: Ian D (Captain), Garth, Alex, Grahame.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence. Details forthcoming.


25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-22

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-21

Week of 21 November


This week's meeting was a club assembly.  A range of topics were discussed, including the future of the Sport & Rec Club, the 2017 telephone directory, and motions passed at the last board meeting.  There was some lively discussion and interesting debate, signs of a healthy club!

 

Street Raffle on Saturday, 26 November


A reminder to members who are rostered on to sit at the street raffle on Saturday.  Rostered on are Daryl and Don from 6:00-8:00, Henk and Alex from 8:00-10:00, and Paul and Leslie from 10:00-12:00.  Proceeds of the street raffle will go to aid the victims of the recent earthquakes in New Zealand.

 

Bingo - what's your pleasure?


Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won't be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

Social Bowls


Because of the late harvest this year, the number of participants in the pre-Christmas social bowls at the Sport & Rec Club is quite low.  The comp will go on, but it's not necessary to register a team--you can simply show up on the night.  With the reduced competition, the chances of winning the prizes on offer are better than ever, so give it a go!

 

The Lighter Side


If you can't laugh with him....
If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card.


Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.

Q: What's the difference between Donald Trump and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Donald Trump.



Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again.


Donald Trump getting elected President has already had a positive effect on the economy.  Sales of alcohol have never been higher.


My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.”
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.
“No, a surface to hair missile.”


Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump. Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.


“You’re telling me I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? Why, because I’m black?!?"
“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”


What happens when you take a joke too far?
The 45th President of the United States of America.

 

The puzzler


What word is missing from this sequence?

htols edirp tsul deerg yvne ynottulg _____

 

Answer to last week's Puzzler:

Pour the juice from the 6th glass into the 3rd glass!


 

Diary


Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 8 December: Bingo. Allawah Lodge. Roster: Ian D (Captain), Garth, Alex, Grahame.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-21

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-20

Week of 14 November


This week’s meeting featured a guest speaker from Kurrajong-Waratah.  For those of you not familiar with this important support organisation, they provide “support, training and opportunities to people with an intellectual disability/development delay and their families/carers” through targeted services.  Tracey Collins described some of the vital services that Kurrajong-Waratah provides to the local community.  Tracey stressed the importance of developing relationships with their clientele in order to build trust and allow Kurrajong-Waratah to better meet their needs.  Daryl Breust thanked Tracey for a very enthusiastic and informative presentation, and presented her with to token change pouch as thanks.  The meeting concluded with an entertaining fine session led by Garth and a raffle, which was won by Don Dyce.

darylthankstraceycollins

 

Beach Boys and Temptations coming to Wagga Wagga???!!!


Yes, it’s true!  The Beach Boys, who made surf rock famous and originated classics such as “Surfin’ USA”, “Good vibrations” and “Kokomo”, will be performing at McDonald’s Park in Wagga on Saturday, 11 Feb, 2017.  The band will include founding member Mike Love and early replacement member Bruce Johnston.  If that weren’t enough, the Temptations will be performing on the night at the same venue.  The Temps, part of the Motown Sound (based out of Detroit), were known for their soulful originals such as “My Girl” and “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”.  Tickets are $89.  If interested in accompanying a group of Coolamon Rotarians to the show, let Henk know soon so arrangements can be made for ticket purchase and transport.

 

The Lighter Side


Memorable quotes

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.  - Steven Wright

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. - Anonymous

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. – Anonymous

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. - Dave Barry

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.  - Jerry Garcia

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. - Alison Boulter

 

The puzzler


Below are six glasses. Three of these glasses contain orange juice. Moving only ONE glass, can you arrange the glasses such that those containing the orange juice are together?

orangeglasses

Answer to last week's Puzzler:

The country name hidden in the sentence was Sweden.

 

Diary


Monday, 21 November: Club assembly.  Special focus on the future of the Sport & Rec Club.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-20

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-19

 Week of 7 November


This week’s highlight was our AGM.  The following directors were elected to serve on the board during President-elect Paul Weston’s year: Club administration, Don Dyce; Foundation, Alex Thompson; Membership, Wayne Lewis; Public Relations, Myffy Collette; Service Projects, Daryl Breust; Vocational Service, Ian Jennings. Henk Hulsman will continue on as Treasurer, and John Bond as secretary.  President-elect for 2018-2019 is Daryl Breust.  Congratulations to all.  Onward and upward!

 

rotaryapronCalling all aprons!


Most of our Rotary aprons have disappeared from the food van.  If you know the whereabouts of any of them, their confidential return would be appreciated.

 

 

 

 

Uncertainty about the future of the Sport & Rec Club


Those of you that attended the extraordinary meeting of the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club this past Sunday would know that the club is in a precarious financial position, in part at least because of possible fraud (the matter is under investigation by the police).  Regardless of the cause, the Sport & Rec Club is facing a very large debt that must be resolved in the near future if they are to remain viable.  We will be discussing what role our club should play, if any, to assist with the financial bailout required to keep the Sport & Rec club afloat at our next club assembly, which is scheduled for 21 November.  Please be there to make your opinion known!

 

Shakeup in the land of Uncle Sam


I can’t let this week go by without commenting on the results of the presidential election in the US, which was held this past Tuesday (which you couldn’t have missed unless you've been living under a rock or were able to totally avoid mass media).  The result was predicted by exactly no one, and is bound to have profound impacts on the world, much less the U S of A.  Let’s just hope that reason prevails, and that smart people are enlisted to help in the day-to-day running of the country. Those that wanted a change certainly got one, but I’m not sure this change is for the better!  The violent street protests against the election result are a bit of a worry, but hopefully not a sign of things to come.  Only time will tell.

 

On the lighter side


The Puzzler

What country name is hidden in the following sentence?

As defendants, we deny all involvement in the unscrupulous dealings which have come to light in the recent government investigation.

Answer to last week's puzzler: The two squares were exactly the same shade of grey.  The optical illusion arises from the neighbouring squares, which trick the eye into thinking that the one surrounded by white squares is darker than the one surrounded by dark squares.  You can prove this by using a colour picker in an image editor such as Photoshop, or looking at the squares while masking out the surrounding squares.  Below is visual proof (the two grey stripes are uniform in colour matching that of the two squares in question).

checkershadow_proof-sm

Diary


Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 21 November: Club assembly.  Special focus on the future of the Sport & Rec Club.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-19

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-18

 Week of 1 November


It was a slow week in Coolamon, so this week's bulletin will be a bit brief.  Our weekly meeting was a club assembly, so no guest speaker this week.  The major topic of consideration this week is identifying candidates for the board and president-elect for next Rotary year.  Our AGM is on Monday, so if you're interested in serving on the board, please make your interest known to President Don or one of the board members.

 

Working bees this Saturday


The last Moo Poo working bee will be on Saturday morning at Ted Hutcheon's place starting at 8:00.  In addition, the backyard at the Parkes residence is getting a bit overgrown, so several club members will be heading over on Saturday arvo after the Moo Poo working bee with whipper snippers and other trimmers in hand to get things under control (mowers will not be useful because the vegetation is too overgrown).  Feel free to come to one or both of these important club activities.

 

Wanna bowl?


The Coolamon Sport & Rec Club will once again be hosting pre-Christmas business house  bowls again in November and December.  We had enough interest last year to field two Rotary teams; if you're interested, let Henk know and he'll get us sorted.  Registration is $20 per team, and there's a charge of $20 per week divided by the team members.  There are prizes on offer each week for the top scoring teams, and a very nice prize (typically a ham) for each member of the top-scoring team at the end of the comp.

 

On the lighter side


The Puzzler

This week's puzzler is an optical one.  Have a good look at the following drawing:

checkershadow_illusion4med

Which of the squares labelled "A" and "B" is darker?

Answer to last week's puzzler: The words that link each pair of words in order: 1 - key, 2 - deck, 3 - boot, 4 - pupil, 5 - case, 6 - bank.

 

Diary


Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-18

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-17

Meeting of 24 October


This week’s meeting was a special one featuring a visit from Butch and Lynn Leibenberg from Hout Bay, South Africa.  Butch is a member of the Rotary Club of Hout Bay, our sister club, and was instrumental in getting Coolamon House up and running.  Coolamon House, for those that don’t know, is a clinic in Hout Bay that ministers to the needs of HIV/AIDS victims in South Africa, especially women with young children.  Butch gave a most interesting presentation describing the political/economic situation in South Africa and the current status of HIV/AIDS in that country.  The situation is rather grim, but the one bit of good news is that the incidence of AIDS in South Africa has remained level over the past few years, unlike other countries in Africa where the disease continues to grow.  Visiting Rotarian and PDG Fred Lonergan thanked Butch and Lynn for gracing our club with their presence, and thanked Butch for his presentation with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The evening concluded with a special presentation of a “custom-made hard-hat” (read ice-cream container) for John Glassford, who suffered a nasty cut to the head on a recent construction project when an errant 4 by 2 landed on his noggin.

butchlynnfredcrjohnhardhat-cr

 

Moo Poo sales


Sales of Moo Poo have been down this year, no doubt because of the lack of good weather for getting out in the garden.  Things are turning around as spring advances, so sales should be brisk on Saturday as bargain-hunters make their way through the streets of Coolamon as they go from garage sale to garage sale during Coolamon’s Whole Town Garage Sale.  Rostered on to assist with sales at Delta Ag are Wayne, Steve, Dary, and Ian J from 8:00-10:00 and Ted and Bondy from 10:00-12:00.  We can use some additional help from 10:00-12:00, so feel free to stop by and help the boys on the later shift.

 

Hospital Fête


hospitalfeteIan Durham, Daryl Breust, Henk Hulsman and Don Dyce man the chocolate wheel at the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête, which was held in Lions Park on Saturday, 22 October.  The cool weather and brisk winds made for low attendance on the day, but a fair sum was still raised to help the hospital (final numbers are not available as yet).  Also helping on the day were John Bond, John Nulty, and Paul Weston.

 

On the lighter side


Subject: Tech support

A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. This young woman is no different from the rest of us, both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She is simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?

She sent an email to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, NRL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?

Signed,  Desperate

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

 

The Puzzler

Missing connections

The task for this week's puzzler is to come up with a word that connects the two words in each pair listed below.  There's one word that is strongly associated with both words in each pair, but you might come up with another.  Answers will appear next week.

1. LOCK — PIANO

2. SHIP — CARD

3. COWBOY — CAR

4. SCHOOL — EYE

5. PILLOW — COURT

6. RIVER — MONEY

Answer to last week's puzzler: The light would take 200 years to travel to earth and back from a planet located 100 light years away.

 

Diary


Friday, 28 October: Capture Coolamon Shire Photo Contest Opening Night.  Up To Date Store from 6:30 pm.

Saturday, 29 October: Whole of Town Garage Sale (Coolamon). Moo Poo sales at Delta Ag, 8:00 am - 12:00 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.
Posted in Bulletins by Paul. Comments Off on Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-17