Weeks of 10 & 17 April

(this issue is a combined issue for two weeks since we had no meeting on 17 April because of the public holiday)

The meeting of 17 April featured the induction of our newest member, Julie Clark. Julie’s mentor, Wayne Lewis, introduced Julie to the members and presented Julie with her dinner badge and Rotary pin after Don performed the formal induction. Julie is keen to get involved in club activities and will be part of the committee to review our bingo program and brainstorm ideas for the future. Welcome to the club, Julie!

Easter markets a big success!

Easter Saturday saw the town of Coolamon come alive with hundreds of visitors and scores of hot rods that paraded down the main street and lined up in the carpark outside the Sport and Rec Club. Our annual Easter Markets took place in the Up-To-Date Store and featured a full house of stall holders selling everything from honey to ladies’ handbags.  The candy from the Junee Licorice and Chocolate factory was a top seller, but most stall holders left the event happy and with a lighter load than they came with.  An estimated 400-500 visitors came through the door, resulting in a generous boost to the club treasury.

A companion event, the annual Art Challenge organised by the Up-To-Date art committee, was held in the park between the two directions of traffic in the main street, and saw a dozen competitors turning ordinary chairs into works of art that were auctioned off as a fundraiser for the UTDS Art Show, to be held later this year.  The successful bidders left with one-of-a-kind works of art, but the masterpiece was the chair featuring an ANZAC Day theme painted by local sign painter Ricky Hard (it brought $250 at auction!).  Coolamon was a vibrant, buzzing town on the day, and it was great to see so many people out and about.  It was a great community event!

On the (not so) lighter side

The Puzzler

What number goes in place of the question mark in the diagram below?

Answer to last puzzle

The word that doesn’t belong is “carrot”.  All of the other words can form new words if the first and last letter of each is removed.  Try that with “carrot”, and you’re left with “arro”, which is not a word in the English language!

Diary

Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am – 3:00 pm.

Monday, 1 May: Planning meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 3 April

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, and a number of important issues were addressed.  A roster was begun for the markets at the Up-To-Date Store on Easter Saturday, but more help is needed.  Members who were unable to attend the meeting but are still keen to help out on the day are requested to contact Paul to get your name on the roster.  Members are asked to consider attending the upcoming Bingo, which will take place on Thursday, 13 April.  Also, board members are reminded to put date of Sunday, 30 April in their diaries; that’s the date of the district training session for incoming directors.  The event will take place in West Wyalong from 10 am through 3 pm; a formal programme will be distributed in the near future.  Should be an interesting day!

We’ll be inducting Julie Clark at Monday’s meeting, so please plan to be there (and bring your partner!).

On the lighter side

This week we have a laugh at the expense of musos, especially those that play instruments that are not universally loved.  Read on and enjoy…

A young child says to his mother, “Mom, when I grow up I’d like to be a musician.” She replies, “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”

Q: How do you make musicians complain?
A: Pay them.

Q: What’s the difference between a pianist and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a pianist.

Q: What’s the difference between terrorists and accordion players?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and five to sing about how good the old one was

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What’s the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated pitch approximator.

Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When you toss a banjo into the bin and it hits an accordion.

Q: What will you never say about a banjo player?
A: “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”

Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of range.

Tuba Player: “Did you hear my last recital?”
Friend: “I hope so.”

The puzzler

One of the words in the following list does not belong. Can you pick it?

seventy
brawl
clover
proper
carrot
swing
change
travel
sacred
stone

Answer to the last Puzzler:

If you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide together in equal amounts, the acid neutralises the base and you’re left with a solution of sodium chloride (salt water), which is harmless to drink (in moderate amounts!).

Diary

Monday, 10 April*: Regular meeting (and induction of Julie Clark). Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am – 3:00 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 27 March

Another great meeting!  A bit more subdued than last week’s affair, but still a great opportunity for fellowship and learning a bit more about our newest member, Julie Clark (Julie has been accepted into membership, but won’t be inducted for another week or two).  Julie has got to have one of the most interesting life stories of all our members, and has held interesting jobs everywhere from Tasmania to Perth (and many points in between!).  One of her more surprising occupations was driving massive trucks in the mines of Western Australia.  She’s now selling honey out of Coolamon (her classification is “Purveyor of fine honey”). Julie will add yet another dimension to the club, and we look forward to her involvement.  Ian Jennings thanked Julie for a most interesting talk and presented her with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The meeting concluded with a brief fine session and a raffle, which was won once again by Helen “Lucky” Lewis.

On the lighter side

All the stories in our bulletin are fair dinkum, but there were many news articles of dubious authenticity that appeared in the media on Saturday, 1 April, including the following (copied from BBC News):
 

1. Trump buys Irish high-rise

If you believe the Irish Times, Dublin is to get its very own “Trump Tower”. “Trump Dublin is expected to be completed by the end of 2018,” it exclusively revealed.

Extra credit should go to whoever completed the joke with a fake tweet from Donald Trump: “Bought a small tower in Dublin, Ireland. We are going to build an awesome hotel in Dublin. It will be totally great. Love Ireland! Great country! #trumpdublin”.
 

2. Russian hackers on demand

Inspired by claims that Kremlin-sponsored hackers tried to rig the US election, Russia’s foreign ministry shared “a new answering machine for Russian diplomatic missions abroad” on Facebook.

3. Germany to go GMT

The scamps at the UK’s German embassy tweeted that Germans would shortly vote to “leave, or remain in” Central European Time (CET). “A replica of the Shepherd Gate Clock in Greenwich would be placed atop the World Time Clock in Alexanderplatz, Berlin, in a frivolous symbolic gesture,” the writer deadpanned.

The clues were there for linguists, however – the surname of the “government spokesperson” quoted – Frau Sommerzeit – translates as “Summertime”.
 

4. Triple-decker plane

Emirates airline almost had us going with the claim that it’s planning to unveil a triple-decker plane. Why? Time zones. The UAE gets to 1 April before the UK and without that all-important date-stamp… could it possibly – somehow – be true?

No, is the answer. The Dubai-based carrier has not designed a plane including “a swimming pool, games room, gym & park”.

5. Canine cabin crew

Meanwhile in the Antipodes… Virgin Australia will be the first airline in the world to employ dogs as cabin staff, the company announced on Twitter.

While less useful in an emergency, these little guys might have been a loveable distraction at 40,000

feet.

The puzzler

Hydrochloric acid is a corrosive, fuming, poisonous, highly acidic solution of hydrogen chloride (HCl). Sodium hydroxide is a caustic, strongly alkaline compound (NaOH) used in drain cleaners. If ingested, hydrochloric acid corrodes the mucous membranes, esophagus, and stomach causing dysphagia, nausea, circulatory failure and death. Sodium hydroxide, if ingested, will cause vomiting, prostration, and collapse. Why is it that if you mix these two substances in the right proportions before ingesting them you will not have any poisoning symptoms?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

You were 1 km from the North pole, and walked in a straight line directly toward the pole, then continued in a straight line for one more km.
 

Diary

Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 10 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 20 March

What a ripper of an evening!  A large number of Rotarians (including many visiting from other clubs) and guests filled the restaurant at the Sport & Rec Club to witness the re-induction of former member Bruce Hamilton and hear some interesting and inspirational presentations by several exchange students and Judith Hall, chair of the District 9700  youth exchange program.  Special guests on the night included DGE George Weston and his wife, Carol, along with AG Bryan Short and his wife, Sally. Following Bruce’s induction, we heard some truly inspirational talks by a current exchange student from Denmark who is finishing up a year in Leeton as well as an exchange student from D9700 who spent a year in Belgium several years ago.  Both students commented on how their experience abroad has changed their lives for the better, how their self-confidence has been boosted, and how they now have friends and family on both sides of the planet!  We also heard from Jackson Wykes, a Coolamon secondary student whom our club is supporting in his quest to be the next exchange student from D9700.  We wish Jackson the best in the interview process and hope he gets the chance to go abroad next year. 

On the lighter side

St Paddy’s Day Reverie

Two men were sitting next to each other on St. Patrick’s Day at Murphy’s Pub in London.  After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re

from Ireland.”

The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first one says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first one responds, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other bloke says, “A lovely little area it was.  I lived on McCleary Street in the old part of town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.”

The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I! Pray tell, what year did you graduate?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, let’s see.  I graduated in 1964.”

The first one exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smilin’ down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!

At about this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

Vicky says, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

The puzzler

You start walking north and you walk in a straight line for two kilometers. When you look at the map, you discover that you actually walked one kilometer north and one kilometer south. How is this possible?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Three hens will lay one dozen eggs over 6 days. Explanation: An egg and a half laid by a hen and a half over a day and a half is equivalent to one egg laid per hen over a day and a half.  Thus, one hen will lay 4 eggs over 6 days, and thus three hens will lay 12 eggs over 6 days.

Diary

Monday, 27 March: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 13 March

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Liz Summerville, local rep for the Australian Livestock and Property Agents Association (ALPA).  ALPA serves a number of roles, not the least of which is ensuring that livestock and property agents are well trained and represent their clients well, and are well versed in the marketing of livestock as well as residential and property.  They offer training for auctioneers and host an annual young auctioneer competition, the finals of which are held at the Sydney Royal Easter Show. Ian Durham thanked Liz for an interesting and entertaining presentation and presented her with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch in appreciation.  The evening concluded with a fine session and a raffle, which was won by Dave McKinley.

Members are reminded that we will have some special guests at our next meeting (20 March). Jackson Wykes, our nominee for Rotary Youth Exchange, and his parents will be our guests, along with two students who have participated in the Outward Bound program.  In addition, DGE George Weston and AG Bryan Short will be on hand and will help to induct Bruce Hamilton as he rejoins our club.  We hope to see you there! 

On the lighter side

Everyone’s favourite energy drink

What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?

Mugging!

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What do you call sad coffee?

Despresso.

How are coffee beans like kids?

They’re always getting grounded!

How does a tech guy drink coffee?

He installs Java!

What’s black and doesn’t work?

Decaffeinated coffee.

Why are Italians so good at making coffee?

Because they know how to espresso themselves.

Why do they call coffee mud?

Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

How is divorce like espresso?

It’s expensive and bitter.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

Sanka.

The puzzler

Okay, we need an easy puzzle after last week’s toughie. See if you can answer this puzzle:

A chook farmer has worked out that a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half. How many hens does the farmer need to produce one dozen eggs in six days?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The third son bought a candle and a box of matches; when he lit the candle, the candle filled the room with light!

Diary

*Monday, 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE.  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.  In addition, we will be re-inducting Bruce Hamilton as a member. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 27 March: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

G ‘ day

This is for all of us in Rotary who have had anything to do with our Centennial Twin Club Hout Bay, those who climbed three mountains, two or one those in the club who helped raise funds and those who do not know much about our relationship with Hout Bay Rotary.

​

The township called Imizamo Yethu in the middle of this beautiful part of Cape Town has just had a large fire destroying several thousand shacks which are the homes of these people who moved here for a better life.

​

“Coolamon has special values for us all here in Rotary Club of Hout Bay because you are our twinned club and there are not too many twinned clubs in the world today. It represents a special partnership, plus the fact that South Africans and Australians are also special people, anyway. Patrick”

​Some of the Kili 2007 team in Hout Bay.​

“When you drive out of our home town here there is the biggest sign on our local clinic on the Main Road which says “Coolamon House”, so your message is here big time, all the time. May that message also always declare our friendship and common values.

Each one of our members toasts the Rotary Club of Coolamon at our Tuesday meetings.” PP Patrick McLaughlin PHF+1 

We have a long and mutually rewarding association with Hout Bay and Coolamon House that they built with funds we raised climbing three mountains in Africa.

Here are two messages from Hout Bay received this morning, one from PP Don Peters and the other from PP Butch Liebenberg whom some of you have met in Coolamon.

They are not asking for any help just giving us information on this disaster on their watch. 

John – Hi

Yes been a disastrous day for the poor people in Imuzamu Yethu, everyone is rallying round and Rotary Hout Bay is a leader.

Sunday will be the cycle tour 35 000 of them coming thru Hout Bay. Our team of marshals and we have 45 from the informal settlement will be busy because some of our team have lost their homes and will be re-building. but we are going to still give them the stipend for race work as it will help in there start up.

Its late and I have an  early start so will stop but I am going to copy to Patrick and Butch so

they can give another view and also say hi.

Best wishes

Don

Hi John,

The best guess by those closest to IY is that 10,000 people have been displaced. I cant confirm that no but most restaurants in Hout Bay (56 in total) are running with half their staff and very reduced menus. Phumlani who you guys were so good to during his school years and in his last year at Uni has lost his house and most of his goods. I think I have raised enough funds to get him back on track but will let you know if we need anything further. Fortunately Azola your new student has moved out of IY into Uni residence and so is not affected. We have a 5.30 start tomorrow to marshall the Argus Cycle tour so need to get some sleep

Lots of love from us all in Hout Bay

Butch and Lyn

​

​Phumlani with JG and Craig in  2007.​

Here are three pics of this fire:

Those of us who have been there would probably recognise that it is at the top end of IY.

The reason, so far no answers, however this could be one of them:

​

I will keep you all posted on any help required from the Hout Bay Rotarians.

Week of 6 March

This week’s meeting was a club assembly.  Not much exciting to report, but a fair bit of business was taken care of. The evening concluded with a fine session and meat raffle, which was won by Leslie.  Members were asked by Grahame to come and have a go at bingo this week, and the two members who answered the call (Dick and Leslie) were nicely rewarded (both left with more money than they came with!). 

We have some interesting meetings coming up.  This Monday’s meeting (13 March) will feature a guest speaker in Liz Summerville, who is representing the Australian Livestock and Property Association.  At the following Monday’s meeting (20 March), we’ll be inducting (or actually, re-inducting) Bruce Hamilton, a former member (and president) of the club who left a number of years ago but is returning to the fold.  On hand to help with the induction will be DG-elect George Weston and AG Bryan Short.  In addition, we’ll have as special guests Jackson Wykes and his parents as well as Outward Bound students who will share their experience of living abroad for a year.  Jackson is our nominee for Rotary Youth Exchange, and the members are looking forward to meeting these special young people.

DGN John Glassford and wife Susan are pictured above cutting cake at the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga celebration of Rotary’s 112th birthday recently.  John was the guest speaker and represented the DG at the event.  Just another day in the life of a DG-to-be!

On the lighter side

In case you were wondering where sheep could be found in Australia, take a gander at the map below prepared by cartographers in Mother England in the 1920’s.  The level of precision is simply remarkable!

A lesson in overindulgence

After the fifth night in a row of carousing and late night drinking by her husband, Jack, Marge had it.  She decided to teach the scoundrel a lesson.  After Jack stumbled in and fell fast asleep on the sofa in the lounge room, Marge got to work.  She dug out the bag of sheep entrails she had been saving in the fridge, and dumped them in the sink.  After that, she went to bed and off to sleep.

The next morning, when Jack stumbled groggily into the kitchen, Marge said “It looks like you finally did it.  You puked your guts out last night.”

Jack replied “I know, but thanks to God and the help of a spoon, I got them back in.”

The puzzler

Okay, we need an easy puzzle after last week’s toughie. See if you can answer this riddle:

An old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons, but he didn’t know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw, but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks, but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room, so he obtained his father’s fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The jumbled animal names were COYOTE, WALRUS, JAGUAR, BEAVER, DONKEY and FERRET.

Diary

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE .  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.  In addition, we will be re-inducting Bruce Hamilton as a member.

Wednesday, 15 March: Board meeting (Don Dyce residence). 7 pm.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), West Wyalong High School 9.00am

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 27 February

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Neil and Coral Druce, proprietors of Junee Licorice & Chocolate and Corowa Whiskey and Chocolate. We heard a most interesting story of how the licorice factry came to be, and how the Druces ended up developing a distillery in an abandoned flour mill in Corowa.  Those in attendance listened with great interest as Neil and Coral described how they almost accidentally ended up becoming one of the largest makers and distributors of licorice in eastern Australia, and how they ended up occupying their first abandoned flour mill in Junee.  We learned how whiskey is made in Scotland and in Australia (the Aussie version made by Neil and Coral is made from barley as the starting grain).  Steve Exton formally thanked Neil and Coral, and presented them with our trademark souvenir, kangaroo-hide coin pouches.  The evening concluded with an entertaining fine session led by Ian Jennings and a meat raffle won by Susan Glassford.

On the lighter side

The puzzler

Scrambled animals

Below are the names of six animals whose letters have been scrambled and divided into two groups of three, but the order of the letters is in sequence in each half.  For example, WOMBAT might be represented as OBA WMT (or WOT MBA, or many other possibilities). One other wrinkle: the groups of three letters for each animal are not in the same row. What are the six animals?

CYO ARU
WLS DNE
EAR FEE
OKY OTE
RRT JAR
AGU BVE

Answer to the last Puzzler:

There were several correct answers to last week’s puzzler, including 8-4=4 (move the vertical stick from the plus sign to the open side of the 6, making it an 8), 0+4=4 (move the middle horizontal stick of the 6 to the open side, making it a zero), 5+4=9 (move the lower left vertical stick from the 6 to the top of the 4, making the 6 a 5 and the 4 a nine), and 6-4 NE 4 (moving the vertical stick from the plus sign across the equal sign, making it a “not equal” sign).

Diary

Monday, 6 March: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 March: Bingo.  6:45 pm, Allawah Lodge. Rostered: Grahame (Captain), Myffy, Dick, Bernie.

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE .  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

(There was no bulletin published last week, so this issue is a two-fer)

Week of 13 February

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Trevor Jose, CEO of the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.  Trevor gave us an update on the current state of affairs of the Sport & Rec Club as they attempt to dig their way out of a rather large debt accumulated over a number of years. The prospects for the long-term recovery of the club look good, based on the serious efforts the club is making to contain costs and pay off debts.  John Nulty thanked Trevor, and presented him with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch in appreciation of a comprehensive and enlightening presentation.

Week of 20 February

This week’s meeting was a mini assembly/fellowship meeting. Planning for the telephone directory was the major item of discussion, along with motions that were passed at last week’s board meeting. The meeting concluded with a meat raffle and a fine session led by Sargeant-at-Arms Ted Hutcheon.

Pictured above is one of Wayne Lewis’s trucks loaded with hay donated by a local farmer and trucked to Dunedoo by Wayne to help cattle farmers in that area cope with the recent devastation caused by bush fires. The club has gotten behind Wayne, and has recommended that we reimburse Wayne for his generous gesture. Good on ya, Wayne!

On the lighter side

You know you’re old when…

In a hostage situation you’re likely to be released first.

You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

“Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take a laxative.

When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

You’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course.

When you’re told to act your own age, and you die.

The puzzler

Here’s a matchstick puzzle for you:

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Container 5 will fill up first.

Diary

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate Factory.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Monday, 6 March: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 March: Bingo.  6:45 pm, Allawah Lodge. Rostered: Grahame (Captain), Myffy, Dick, Bernie.

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 6 February

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, which gave us some time to do some reflection of the NYE festival and some planning for the upcoming telephone directory and other activities.  It was a good way to get back into the swing of things after a lengthy time away from serious business.  The meeting finished right on 9:00, which is a great start to the new year because we’ll need to be more mindful of the ending time as the club will not be keeping staff on beyond that time.  Speaking of the club, you might want to come to Monday’s meeting (13 Feb) to hear an update on the status of the club by Trevor Jose, CEO of the sport & rec club.  

One other bit of news: Trevor Parkes is now home from hospital and recuperating!  He still has a bit of rehabilitation to undergo, but he has recovered from pacreatitis and is well on the path to normal activity. We look forward to having you back on board, Trevor!

On the lighter side

Here’s a collection of quotes by a number of American talk show hosts and commetators over the course of the recent presidential campaign in the US.  Now that Trump is president, a lot of these quotes don’t sound so funny, even if they’re stretching the truth a bit!

“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won’t do.”–Mitt Romney

“Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them ‘anxious.’ And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them ‘Canadian.’”–Conan O’Brien

“Analysts say Hillary Clinton’s plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as ‘dangerous and bigoted.’ She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.”—Conan O’Brien

“After he won yesterday’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, ‘I love the poorly educated.’ Trump then said, ‘And when I’m president there’ll be more of them than ever.’” —Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump said yesterday that if he’s elected, he would ‘probably not talk as much.’ That’s right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless.”—Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, ‘They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.’”—Conan O’Brien

“A word association poll found the words most associated with Donald Trump are idiot, jerk, stupid, and dumb. In other words, he really could be our next president. He’s got everything it takes.”—Conan O’Brien

The puzzler

Here’s a visual puzzler submitted by John Glassford, who has disqualified himself from any prize.  Which container in the diagram below will fill with water first once the flow is turned on to container 1?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The missing numbers are 12 and 11, in that order.  The order is important because the second number is subtracted from the first to give the first digit (or two) of the resulting number; the second two digits of the result are the sum of the two numbers on the left side of the equation.

Diary

*Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Trevor Jose, CEO Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, speaking on the status of the club.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 

Monday, 20 February: Regular meeting.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.