Meeting of 24 October
This week’s meeting was a special one featuring a visit from Butch and Lynn Leibenberg from Hout Bay, South Africa. Butch is a member of the Rotary Club of Hout Bay, our sister club, and was instrumental in getting Coolamon House up and running. Coolamon House, for those that don’t know, is a clinic in Hout Bay that ministers to the needs of HIV/AIDS victims in South Africa, especially women with young children. Butch gave a most interesting presentation describing the political/economic situation in South Africa and the current status of HIV/AIDS in that country. The situation is rather grim, but the one bit of good news is that the incidence of AIDS in South Africa has remained level over the past few years, unlike other countries in Africa where the disease continues to grow. Visiting Rotarian and PDG Fred Lonergan thanked Butch and Lynn for gracing our club with their presence, and thanked Butch for his presentation with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch. The evening concluded with a special presentation of a “custom-made hard-hat” (read ice-cream container) for John Glassford, who suffered a nasty cut to the head on a recent construction project when an errant 4 by 2 landed on his noggin.
Moo Poo sales
Sales of Moo Poo have been down this year, no doubt because of the lack of good weather for getting out in the garden. Things are turning around as spring advances, so sales should be brisk on Saturday as bargain-hunters make their way through the streets of Coolamon as they go from garage sale to garage sale during Coolamon’s Whole Town Garage Sale. Rostered on to assist with sales at Delta Ag are Wayne, Steve, Dary, and Ian J from 8:00-10:00 and Ted and Bondy from 10:00-12:00. We can use some additional help from 10:00-12:00, so feel free to stop by and help the boys on the later shift.
Hospital Fête
Ian Durham, Daryl Breust, Henk Hulsman and Don Dyce man the chocolate wheel at the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête, which was held in Lions Park on Saturday, 22 October. The cool weather and brisk winds made for low attendance on the day, but a fair sum was still raised to help the hospital (final numbers are not available as yet). Also helping on the day were John Bond, John Nulty, and Paul Weston.
On the lighter side
Subject: Tech support
A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. This young woman is no different from the rest of us, both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She is simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?
She sent an email to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, NRL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
The Puzzler
Missing connections
The task for this week’s puzzler is to come up with a word that connects the two words in each pair listed below. There’s one word that is strongly associated with both words in each pair, but you might come up with another. Answers will appear next week.
1. LOCK — PIANO
2. SHIP — CARD
3. COWBOY — CAR
4. SCHOOL — EYE
5. PILLOW — COURT
6. RIVER — MONEY
Answer to last week’s puzzler: The light would take 200 years to travel to earth and back from a planet located 100 light years away.
Diary
Friday, 28 October: Capture Coolamon Shire Photo Contest Opening Night. Up To Date Store from 6:30 pm.
Saturday, 29 October: Whole of Town Garage Sale (Coolamon). Moo Poo sales at Delta Ag, 8:00 am – 12:00 pm.
Monday, 31 October: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.
Monday, 7 November: AGM. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.
Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.
Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*. Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.
Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.
Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.
Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party. Details to come.
25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.
17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.
30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.
10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.
*Partners and Guests Night
Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157 BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.