Month: October 2016

Meeting of 24 October

This week’s meeting was a special one featuring a visit from Butch and Lynn Leibenberg from Hout Bay, South Africa.  Butch is a member of the Rotary Club of Hout Bay, our sister club, and was instrumental in getting Coolamon House up and running.  Coolamon House, for those that don’t know, is a clinic in Hout Bay that ministers to the needs of HIV/AIDS victims in South Africa, especially women with young children.  Butch gave a most interesting presentation describing the political/economic situation in South Africa and the current status of HIV/AIDS in that country.  The situation is rather grim, but the one bit of good news is that the incidence of AIDS in South Africa has remained level over the past few years, unlike other countries in Africa where the disease continues to grow.  Visiting Rotarian and PDG Fred Lonergan thanked Butch and Lynn for gracing our club with their presence, and thanked Butch for his presentation with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The evening concluded with a special presentation of a “custom-made hard-hat” (read ice-cream container) for John Glassford, who suffered a nasty cut to the head on a recent construction project when an errant 4 by 2 landed on his noggin.

 

Moo Poo sales

Sales of Moo Poo have been down this year, no doubt because of the lack of good weather for getting out in the garden.  Things are turning around as spring advances, so sales should be brisk on Saturday as bargain-hunters make their way through the streets of Coolamon as they go from garage sale to garage sale during Coolamon’s Whole Town Garage Sale.  Rostered on to assist with sales at Delta Ag are Wayne, Steve, Dary, and Ian J from 8:00-10:00 and Ted and Bondy from 10:00-12:00.  We can use some additional help from 10:00-12:00, so feel free to stop by and help the boys on the later shift.

 

Hospital Fête

Ian Durham, Daryl Breust, Henk Hulsman and Don Dyce man the chocolate wheel at the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête, which was held in Lions Park on Saturday, 22 October.  The cool weather and brisk winds made for low attendance on the day, but a fair sum was still raised to help the hospital (final numbers are not available as yet).  Also helping on the day were John Bond, John Nulty, and Paul Weston.

 

On the lighter side

Subject: Tech support

A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. This young woman is no different from the rest of us, both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She is simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?

She sent an email to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, NRL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?

Signed,  Desperate

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

 

The Puzzler

Missing connections

The task for this week’s puzzler is to come up with a word that connects the two words in each pair listed below.  There’s one word that is strongly associated with both words in each pair, but you might come up with another.  Answers will appear next week.

1. LOCK — PIANO

2. SHIP — CARD

3. COWBOY — CAR

4. SCHOOL — EYE

5. PILLOW — COURT

6. RIVER — MONEY

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The light would take 200 years to travel to earth and back from a planet located 100 light years away.

 

Diary

Friday, 28 October: Capture Coolamon Shire Photo Contest Opening Night.  Up To Date Store from 6:30 pm.

Saturday, 29 October: Whole of Town Garage Sale (Coolamon). Moo Poo sales at Delta Ag, 8:00 am – 12:00 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 17 October

This week’s meeting was a fellowship gathering featuring a guest speaker. Several club members served barbecued steaks and salads those in attendance.  Special thanks go to Heather McKinley, who made the salads, and Daryl Breust, who managed to cook a large quantity of steaks to perfection.  Henk Hulsman and Dave McKinley were also instrumental in pulling off this self-catered event.

After our meal, we were treated to a spellbinding talk by Mel Mayer, a Coolamon resident who recounted his experiences with the radio and recording industry in Australia.  Most people know Mel for his activities in providing the sound system and music at local events, but most are probably unaware of his fascinating story.  Mel started out as a sound effects man with one of the first radio studios to produce soap operas (“soapies”) when these first came on the scene in Australia.   Mel described some of the tricks of the trade, and the little details that made these programs so enchanting.  In addition to these programs, Mel was involved with the production of heaps of advertisements, many of which were familiar to older members of the audience (the most famous of which was an advert for Aeroplane Jelly).  Mel got to rub elbows with many well-known artists over the years, notably singers such as Frankie Lane and Mitch Miller.  Mel also provided insights into the evolution of recording media over the decades, ranging from wax cylinders through 45 and LP records, 8-track and cassette tapes, ending with mini-discs and compact discs.  Mel still works three days per week compiling recordings for SONY after 50 years in the business.  Mel entertained us for well over an hour and could have gone on much longer except the club needed to shut down!  John Nulty thanked Mel for a most interesting presentation, presenting him with a coin pouch as a token of appreciation. It was an evening to remember.

 

Hospital Fête this Saturday

Members are reminded that the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête will be happening from 10:00-2:00 in Lions Park in Coolamon.  A number of members are rostered on from 9:00 to help set up; this includes Don, Dave, John B, Alex, Henk and Paul.   Don, Dave, Henk and Paul will continue on from 10:00-11:30, and Daryl and Ian D are rostered on from 11:30-2:00.  We’re a bit light for the last shift, so please put up your hand to help!

 

On the lighter side

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

 

The Puzzler

OK, we need an easy puzzler this week because the last few have proved to be very challenging.  Here goes: How long does it take for light to travel to the earth and back from a planet that is located 100 light years away?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The bus is travelling to the right.  We know this because the door, which is on the left side of buses in Australia, is not visible.  Therefore, we must be looking at the right (driver’s) side of the bus, which means the bus must be travelling from left to right.  Simples!

 

Diary

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Lions Park (Coolamon), 10:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 24 October: Regular meeting* and visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 

Meeting of 10 October

This week’s regular meeting featured a talk by guest speaker John Piltz on the drug problem in Coolamon and what’s being done about it.  John is a Coolamon resident and has been president of the youth footy program in town for many years, and is one of the founding members of the Coolamon Community Drug Action Team (CDAT).  CDATs have been organised in numerous towns throughout the state to battle the problem of drug abuse.  Coolamon CDAT was established several years ago in response to emerging problems with drug abuse among younger members of the community.  As John explained, the members of Coolamon CDAT are not experts on drug abuse, but facilitate the dissemination of information on the problem and look for solutions to the problem.  They receive an annual modest contribution from the state government to fund their programs, which they leverage to get more “bang from their buck.”  They have a number of interesting programs planned for the coming year, and it certainly seems like a group that Rotary needs to support.  Neil thanked John for his presentation and the excellent work that CDAT is doing in the community and presented him with a kangaroo-hide change pouch in appreciation.

The evening concluded with a thanks to the journalism club and their advisor, Beth Batcheldor, for their great job on the newspaper, a quick game of heads and tails (which was won by John G) and an entertaining fine session led by Sargent-at-Arms Ted.  Pictured below are Myffy and Bernie (at left and third from left) with journalism club members Maddie, Beth (advisor), Minnie and Sophia.  The aspiring journalists were curious to see how a Rotary meeting was run, so it was great to welcome them to our meeting.

Trivia night benefit for Owen Hawthorn and family

Nearly 400 residents of the shire packed into St Michael’s hall on Friday night to participate in a trivia night fundraiser for Owen Hawthorn and his family following the loss of his wife, Narelle, to terminal illness.  The event had been planned while Narelle was still alive, but sadly, she passed away early last week.  Community members showed support by participating in a trivia competition which saw both Coolamon Rotary tables in the thick of it, but in the end, the table led by Wayne Lewis won the competition.  A silent auction went on through the evening, and a live auction followed the trivia, which had offerings from the mundane to the remarkable.  Coolamonites were extremely generous on the night, with tens of thousands of dollars raised for the cause.  It was heartwarming to see the heartfelt support and generosity of residents of the shire toward a local family in need, and it was great to see our club play a part in it.

 

On the lighter side

Definition of European Heaven: German engineering, French cuisine and British humour.

Definition of European Hell: French engineering, German humour and British “cuisine”.
The Puzzler

Here’s one you may have seen, but we need an easy one after last week’s puzzler which left many readers baffled.  Which way is the bus below travelling?  96% of first-graders in Australia got it right!

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The three teenagers with Chris are his sisters!

 

Diary

Saturday, 15 October: Moo Poo working bee (rain or shine!). Ted’s place, 8:00 am.

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Monday, 17 October: Regular meeting.  Guest speaker: Mel Mayer.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 October: Board meeting.  Dyce/Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Monday, 24 October: Regular meeting* and visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Over the last weekend we lost a fellow Rotarian.  PP Bert Browning a Paul Harris Fellow and one of the longest serving Rotarians in the Rotary Club of Coolamon.  Here are a few photos of Bert at work for the local  community of Coolamon.

President Don Dyce and all of the Rotarians and partners in our club send our deepest condolences and wishes to Bert’s family.  Bert will be remembered fondly by all who worked with him on a Rotary BBQ.  Bert will also be remembered by the patrons and members of the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club.

R.I.P. Bert Browning PHF.

ONE piece of tomato ONE Piece of beetroot and NO butter!

 

Bert we will miss you!