Month: February 2017

(There was no bulletin published last week, so this issue is a two-fer)

 

Week of 13 February

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Trevor Jose, CEO of the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.  Trevor gave us an update on the current state of affairs of the Sport & Rec Club as they attempt to dig their way out of a rather large debt accumulated over a number of years. The prospects for the long-term recovery of the club look good, based on the serious efforts the club is making to contain costs and pay off debts.  John Nulty thanked Trevor, and presented him with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch in appreciation of a comprehensive and enlightening presentation.

 

Week of 20 February

This week’s meeting was a mini assembly/fellowship meeting. Planning for the telephone directory was the major item of discussion, along with motions that were passed at last week’s board meeting. The meeting concluded with a meat raffle and a fine session led by Sargeant-at-Arms Ted Hutcheon.

 

Pictured above is one of Wayne Lewis’s trucks loaded with hay donated by a local farmer and trucked to Dunedoo by Wayne to help cattle farmers in that area cope with the recent devastation caused by bush fires. The club has gotten behind Wayne, and has recommended that we reimburse Wayne for his generous gesture. Good on ya, Wayne!

 

On the lighter side

You know you’re old when…

In a hostage situation you’re likely to be released first.

You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

“Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take a laxative.

When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

You’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course.

When you’re told to act your own age, and you die.

 

The puzzler

Here’s a matchstick puzzle for you:

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Container 5 will fill up first.

 

Diary

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate Factory.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Monday, 6 March: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 March: Bingo.  6:45 pm, Allawah Lodge. Rostered: Grahame (Captain), Myffy, Dick, Bernie.

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 6 February

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, which gave us some time to do some reflection of the NYE festival and some planning for the upcoming telephone directory and other activities.  It was a good way to get back into the swing of things after a lengthy time away from serious business.  The meeting finished right on 9:00, which is a great start to the new year because we’ll need to be more mindful of the ending time as the club will not be keeping staff on beyond that time.  Speaking of the club, you might want to come to Monday’s meeting (13 Feb) to hear an update on the status of the club by Trevor Jose, CEO of the sport & rec club.  

One other bit of news: Trevor Parkes is now home from hospital and recuperating!  He still has a bit of rehabilitation to undergo, but he has recovered from pacreatitis and is well on the path to normal activity. We look forward to having you back on board, Trevor!

 

On the lighter side

Here’s a collection of quotes by a number of American talk show hosts and commetators over the course of the recent presidential campaign in the US.  Now that Trump is president, a lot of these quotes don’t sound so funny, even if they’re stretching the truth a bit!

“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won’t do.”–Mitt Romney

“Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them ‘anxious.’ And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them ‘Canadian.’”–Conan O’Brien

“Analysts say Hillary Clinton’s plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as ‘dangerous and bigoted.’ She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.”—Conan O’Brien

“After he won yesterday’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, ‘I love the poorly educated.’ Trump then said, ‘And when I’m president there’ll be more of them than ever.’” —Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump said yesterday that if he’s elected, he would ‘probably not talk as much.’ That’s right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless.”—Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, ‘They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.’”—Conan O’Brien

“A word association poll found the words most associated with Donald Trump are idiot, jerk, stupid, and dumb. In other words, he really could be our next president. He’s got everything it takes.”—Conan O’Brien

 

The puzzler

Here’s a visual puzzler submitted by John Glassford, who has disqualified himself from any prize.  Which container in the diagram below will fill with water first once the flow is turned on to container 1?

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The missing numbers are 12 and 11, in that order.  The order is important because the second number is subtracted from the first to give the first digit (or two) of the resulting number; the second two digits of the result are the sum of the two numbers on the left side of the equation.

 

Diary

*Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Trevor Jose, CEO Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, speaking on the status of the club.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 

Monday, 20 February: Regular meeting.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Holiday Fellowship

A most enjoyable Christmas party was held at the residence of President Don and his partner Sally on 11 December.  As usual, we were treated to abundant appetizers, mains, and assorted desserts, along with great conversation and fellowship.  We hosted several members of the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga Wollundry, who presented President Don with a cheque for the assistance we provided Gears and Beers when it came through Coolamon in October.  The evening closed with a surprise performance by John Bond, who played an assortment of Christmas songs on his cello.

Because a number of members were unable to attend the Christmas party because of the late harvest, a special evening of fellowship was held at the residence of Grahame and Sharon Miles in early January.  It was a splendid evening of good food, drink and conversation, and the type of event that many would like to see repeated.  A full moon was a nice capstone to the wonderful event, and we thank Grahame and Sharon for hosting us on the evening.

 

Week of 23 January

The club has woken from its Christmas hibernation, and is starting to get back into action. This week’s meeting featured a bit of discussion regarding the New Year’s Eve festival and how it might be improved for next year. All in all, it was a successful evening, with the club distributing wrist bands to the nippers and serving up steak sandwiches and hot dogs from the food van. Proceeds of the food sales and raffle tickets more than covered the cost of giving away several hundred free hot dogs to the little ones. The NYE festival is a great community event, and one that generates good exposure for the club. It was a great way to see in the new year.

The club was treated to a most interesting life story delivered by our own John Bond. John has led an interesting life, and his involvement in electronic communication had taken him to many interesting, but remote, locations in Australia. John expertise in satellite communications made him a valuable asset in various military operations and ongoing surveillance of international activities. Dick thanked John for a very good talk, despite the absence of the club projector to display the images John had planned to present.

The evening concluded with a raffle and fellowship.

 

 

Week of 30 January

The club went on the road for our weekly meeting, catching up with mates in the Lockart club for a meal and fellowship at the Crossroads Hotel in Collingullie, halfway between Coolamon and Lockhart. Yours truly was unable to attend, but judging from the pics that were sent to me (see below), a good time was had by all. Our next meeting will be a club assembly on 6 Feb, so please make a point to come to this important planning meeting.

 

 

On the lighter side

Oy vey!

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asks Abe, “Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?”

Abe replies, “I don’t know, let’s ask our waiter.”

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

The waiter says, “I don’t know señor, I ask the cooks.

He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,”No señor, the cook say no Mexican Jews.”

Abe isn’t satisfied and asks, “Are you absolutely sure?”

The waiter, realizing he is dealing with “gringos” replies, “I check once again, señor,” and goes back into the kitchen.

While the waiter is away, Sid says, “I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ….Our people are scattered everywhere.”

The waiter returns and says, “Señor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you certain?” Abe asks again. “I just can’t believe there are no Mexican Jews!”

“Señor, I ask EVERYONE,” replies the exasperated waiter. “All we have is orange jews, grape jews, prune jews, tomato jews and apple jews, but no Mexican jews.”

 

The puzzler

New maths

What two numbers belong in the spaces occupied by question marks in the last line of the following equations?

6 + 4 = 210
9 + 2 = 711
8 + 5 = 313
5 + 2 = 37
7 + 6 = 113
9 + 8 = 117
10 + 6 = 416
15 + 3 = 1218
?? + ?? = 123

Answer to the last Puzzler:

There seems to be more than one answer to the puzzle of which animals went to each child, but if you assume that three of each stuffed animal were distributed, there’s only one correct answer: Alice received a bunny, puppy and bear, Ben: bunny, cat, deer; Carol: cat, puppy, bear; David: bunny, puppy, deer; and Edith: cat, bear and deer.  Seemples!

 

Diary

Monday, 6 February: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 February: Bingo. 6:45 pm.  Allawah Lodge. Roster: Henk (Captain), Dave, Ian D, Alex.

Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.