Monday 4th June

Paul welcomed 20 members plus guest Barry Lillywhite.

Paul thanked all those members who volunteered collecting for Red Shield Appeal over the past 2 weekends. Just over $2000 was collected.

Secretary John read out quite a bit of correspondence (see cheques in and receipts, etc. in email from John Bond sent to members).

Youth Director Dave gave an overview of how Lucia is going and places she will be staying over her remaining 6 weeks. Dave thanked Henk for  bookwork he’s done on his behalf for Lucia. She flies out for home on July 9th; hasn’t the year flown?!

Club Assembly discussions

Monies to be donated to organisations at the change-over – board to make those decisions at the next board meeting.

There was a bit of discussion about working with Coolamon Central School in conjunction with the Chronicle (e.g. adding a web version of the paper) and support for a student welfare officer at the school.

Discussion on proposed location for public toilets at back of fire museum and concerns regarding children crossing the main road. A letter will be sent to council to voice our concerns.

Discussion regarding fund-raising for a local family having issues with cancer – decision to be made by board.

John G discussed planning for the Changeover and suggests members book and pay for the night beforehand.

Daryl requested the food van committee have a meeting to discuss a few issues in restructuring the internals of the van – next Monday at 4.30 is proposed time at this stage, but to be confirmed by Grahame.

Ted led a very lively and somewhat controversial fine session.

Bingo – 14 June

Don’t forget bingo will be taking place at Allawah Lodge on Thursday, 14 June.  If you’re rostered on, please show up at 7:00 and help with set-up (see roster in diary listing below).  If you’re not rostered on, why not come and play–you might end up leaving with more money than you came with!

Quote of the Week

Who said this?

“You can run and hide, or you can take a bucket of cement and toughen up.”

Last week’s Quote of the Week was attributed to Barnaby Joyce.

Diary

Monday, 11th June – no meeting (Public holiday).

Thursday, 14th  June – BINGO.  Grahame  (Captain), Wayne,  Howard  & Mark. 7.00 pm in  Allawah Community Centre Hall.

*Monday, 18th June – Guest Speaker: Club members (Lyn Schadel, Anne Rzeszkowski, John Nulty). Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

Wednesday, 20th  June – Board meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 7:00 pm.

Saturday, 23rd June to Wednesday, 27th June – Rotary International Convention. Toronto, Canada.

*Monday, 25th June – Farewell Dinner to Lucia.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

Saturday, 30th June – Street Raffle.   Outside Coolamon Newsagency

*Saturday, 30th June – Coolamon Rotary Changeover and District 9700 Changeover.  Ganmain Hall.

Monay July 9th – Guest Speaker. DG John Glassford visit to Coolamon Club

* denotes partner & guest night

Community Events

Up to date Art exhibition Friday 27th July  – 12th August, For further information please email: [email protected]

Reminders

Please get your working with children check completed and give the number and expiry date to the Secretary ASAP. Failure to do so may mean you are not covered insurance wise when you volunteer at events.

June is Rotary Fellowships Month

District 9700 Board 2018-2019

The 2018-2019 D9700 Board is coming together nicely and the restructure is going to work and work well.  DGN John McKenzie and DG George Weston are committed to making it work, as are the others on this much smaller Board: The 9700 district that the Coolamon Rotary club was a member of has now been split. Coolamon Rotary will now be a part of District 9705 as of 2020. Details will be updated as they arrive.

District Governor: John Glassford {Membership Retention} Coolamon

District Governor-Elect: John McKenzie {Service Projects} Orange North

District Governor Nominee {New District}: Michael Moore

Immediate Past District Governor: George Weston {Youth} Leeton

Foundation Director: PDG David Kennedy {Foundation} Blayney

Secretary: PP David Benn {Administration} Wollundry Wagga Wagga

Treasurer Finance & Audit: PP Doug Conkey {Budget} Wollundry Wagga Wagga

Communications Director: PP Paul Murray {Public Image} Wollundry

Millennials Director: PP Clare Lawlor {Membership Millennials} Wagga CSU Rotaract

Associate Member: AG Julie Poplin {Assistant Governors}

Other District Appointments

Executive Secretary and Web Master: PP Paul Murray Wollundry Wagga Wagga

District Trainer: PP Geraldine Rurenga Wagga Wagga Murrumbidgee

PETS Facilitator: PDG Tony Monley D9810

Public Officer: PDG Ian Tooke Blayney

2019 Griffith D9700 Conference Chair: PP Ross Grillo Griffith

DIO Insurance/Risk Management: PP Sam Catanzariti Griffith

COL 2019 Representative: PDG Gary Roberts

We are still looking at appointing two more Assistant Governors.

We are also looking at the structure of all the Standing Committees and the Special Committees.

We will post all further news on D9700 2018-2019 on my DGJG Blog:

DG JG 9700 2018-2019

ROTARY INTERNATIONAL 2017-2018

President Ian Riseley RC of Sandringham Melbourne

President Elect Barry Rassin RC of East Nassau The Bahamas

District 9700 Governor George Weston RC of Leeton

District 9700 Governor Elect John Glassford RC of Coolamon

District 9700 Governor Nominee John McKenzie RC of Orange North

MEETING March 19th, 2018

We met this week at the restored convent in Coolamon now being operated as a function centre by club member Howard Atkinson and his wife, Anne Baker.  A delicious three-course meal was enjoyed by all in attendance.  Neil gave an intro to Rotary’s peace program & the Foundation, before introducing PDG Fred Loneragan.  Fred gave a great over view of the peace program, part of the Foundation program, before discussing the many facets of the Foundation (Rotary’s charity), ably assisted by our John G operating the slide show.

Foundation provides all sorts of support for disadvantaged people around the world. In 1947, Foundation introduced graduate scholarships with $1000 donations from individual members, the start of Paul Harris Fellowships, a significant avenue of fund raising for the Foundation.  In the 1980s, a program started to eradicate polio–Polio Plus–which is now almost completed, with only a few known cases remaining in the world.

Foundation provides many grant programs, too many to list here.  Individual members can contribute to Foundation, and if a donation of $100 is made in one year, the member can become a Centurion.  It’s a great way to support one of the world’s most efficient charities, and at very modest cost: just $2 per week.

After the delicious dessert, Will led a most spirited fine session.  It was a great night, and a great way to learn more about (and contribute to) the Rotary Foundation (all monies raised on the night in excess of costs will be sent to Foundation). See some images from the evening below.

Quote of the Week

Who said this? 

“I have stage fright every single concert I’ve ever done. I have at least four or five minutes of it. It’s absolute living hell.”

Last week’s Quote of the Week is attributed to Albert Einstein.

Diary

Monday, 26th March – Fellowship meeting. No set agenda, just a chance to bat the breeze and get to know each other better.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

Saturday, 31st March – Easter Markets & U2D  Art Battle. UTDS, 9:00 am – 1:30 pm.

Monday, 2nd April – No meeting (public holiday).

Thursday, 12th April – BINGO.  Daryl B (Captain),  Dave McK (for Don D),  Ian J & Alex T (please note change from roster sent out)

*Monday 9th April – Guest Speaker. Daniel Fisher (Delta Ag) at Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

Monday 16th April – Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

*Monday 23rd April – Guest Speaker. Denise Winkler on ‘Education’ at Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

Saturday & Sunday, 5th-6th May – District 9700 CONFERENCE. Roxy Theatre, Leeton.

   Suggest booking accommodation early!

*Monday May 7 – Guest Speaker. Daryl Bruest on Kokoda trek, at Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm.

*Tuesday 15th May – Guest Speaker. Noel Trevaskis at Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7:00 pm. NB Different meeting night; joint meeting with Junee and Temora.

Saturday, 23rd June to Wednesday, 27th June – Rotary International Convention. Toronto, Canada.

*Saturday, 30th June – Coolamon Rotary Changeover and District 9700 Changeover.  Ganmain Hall.

* denotes partner & guest night

Register Here Today:

Community Events

Reminders

Read more

Week of 10 July

The first meeting of our new Rotary year was a planning meeting and an orientation meeting to the new directors.  President Paul Weston listed some of the projects planned for the coming year, and Vocational Services director Ian Jennings described his portfolio and some of his plans for the year.  John Glassford, the District Governor Elect (DGE) for District 9700,  provided an update on plans for the district changeover which will take place in one year’s time in Coolamon or Ganmain.  The meeting concluded with a brief fine session and meat raffle.  Our next meeting will be a continuation of this meeting, with further elaboration of plans for the coming year and description of the portfolios and plans of additional directors.  This is meant to be the last bulletin edited President Paul, who will be handing off duties of bulletin editor to Julie Clark.

On the lighter side

Rotary humour

It is common practice to expect new Rotarians to give a talk to their fellow Rotarians about themselves, their early life, their training and their job. Later in Rotary life the Rotarian is often expected to fill the speaker diary by giving a talk which is NOT connected with his or her work.  A hobby such as stamp collecting or model trains would be a good example.

Fred arrived at the meeting of his Rotary club to be reminded that he was the speaker for the evening and this was not a “Job Talk”.

He had forgotten and was not prepared. He sat at the head table, beside the Chairman for the evening, and thought about a subject during the meal.

When he was announced he spoke about sex. The members listened to every word and asked many questions. It was a success.

When he arrived home, Mary his wife, asked “How was Rotary?”

“It was a good meeting” he said.

“What was for dinner?” she asked.

“Beef, and it was good” he answered.

“Who was the speaker?” she continued.

“I was” he replied.

“What did you speak about?”

Now he can see trouble looming!

“Sailing” he lied.

The next morning Mary was shopping in town and visited the butcher who was also a Rotarian.

“Fred gave a wonderful talk last night” he said.

“Yes” said Mary, “but I don’t understand why he chose the subject. The first time he did it he was sick and the second time his hat blew off”.

The Puzzler

Answer to the last puzzler: A sponge!

Diary

Monday, 17 July: Regular meeting. Planning meeting for 2017-2018 (continued).  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 July: Board meeting. Weston residence, 7:30 pm.

Monday, 24 July: Regular meeting. Guest speaker TBA.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 26 July: Community Drug Action Team (CDAT) meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 4:00 pm.

Wednesday, 26 July: Alzheimer’s Australia NSW Healthy Brain Ageing and Memory Van visit (noon-3:00 pm). Presentation at Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30-8:00 pm.

Monday, 31 July: Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY

Week of 29 May

As this was the 5th Monday of the month, we had a special outing this week in lieu of our regular meeting.  We met at Coolamon Cheese with the Rotary Club of Temora and had a fine evening of fellowship and a fabulous meal prepared by Chef Chris of the cheese factory. Following our meal, host Barry Lillywhite led small tours of the production and cheese storage areas of the facility.  A joint fine session led by the Coolamon and Temora sergeants entertained the guests, and a raffle featuring three prizes of local produce finished off the evening.

Week of 5 June

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, so not a lot to report.  However, we did have a notable event on the evening, which was farewelling longstanding member Ian Durham, who recently sold his property in Coolamon and will be moving to be closer to his partner, Christine.  Ian has been a member of our club for 17 years, and has contributed mightily over the years, most notably by heading up the telephone directory effort three years ago.  Henk presented Ian with a farewell gift, and thanked him for year many years of service.  You’ll be missed Ian.  Best wishes in this new chapter of your life.

Reminder: No regular meeting this week (12 June)

Just a reminder that there is no regular meeting this week because of the public holiday.  Happy Birthday, your Royal Highness!

On the lighter side

Amazing technology

One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike “My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I’d better see a doctor.”

Listen, don’t waste your time down at the surgery,” Mike replies.  ‘There’s a new diagnostic computer at Bloom’s.  Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs only five bucks…..a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get club card points”.

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Bloom’s.  He deposits five dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks”.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and jerked off into the mixture for good measure.  Jack hurried back to Bloom’s, eager to check what would happen. He deposited five dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer whirred for a little longer than he expected and then printed the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard.  Get a water softener.
2) Your cat’s having kittens.  Get a vet.
3) Your dog has ringworm.  Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit.  Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant with twins; they aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
…
6) And if you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better…

Thank you for shopping at Bloom’s the Chemist!

The Puzzler

What can hold water even though it has holes?

Diary

Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen’s birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 19 June: Regular meeting*. Guest Speaker: Lloyd Dolan, CSU School of Indigenous Australian Studies.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 26 June: Regular meeting. Planning meeting for President-Elect Paul’s year at the helm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY

Week of 15 May

Our guest speaker at this week’s meeting was Catherine Warren, who heads up the Riverina branch of Days for Girls, an international program to assist young women coming of age in Africa.  The focus of the group is to provide sustainable sanitary products for girls as they start their monthly cycles in order to allow them to stay involved in school and lead productive lives and not be relegated to a subservient lifestyle where they are often treated as second-class citizens (or worse) and their monthly cycle is viewed pretty much as a curse.  Local women in the shire meet once a month to sew and assemble the kits, which are distributed to girls in several African countries.  The sewing group made 50 kits over the past year, which Jan Breust presented to Catherine on the night.  Myffy thanked Catherine for a very impassioned presentation and gave her a kangaroo hide change purse as a token of thanks.

Week of 22 May

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by guest speakers Gordon Saggers and Paul Galloway, members of the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga.  Gordon described their project in Timor L’Este, building a school for primary school children in Tutuala.  The school was desperately needed after the destruction of buildings as rebels pillaged the community as the local government took control of the area, including appropriating the tiny building that had functioned as the only school for the community.  A relatively modest expenditure of $30,000 was able to get the school built and equipped.  Gordon became aware of the needs of the community of Tutuala when he had recently visited to do free dental work for the residents of Timor L’Este (Gordon is a practicing dentist in Wagga).  Just another example of a high-impact project benefitting needy people and executed by dedicated and selfless Rotarians. Good on ya, boys! Julie Clark thanked Gordon & Paul, presenting them with a kangaroo hide coin pouch.

Reminder: No regular meeting this week (29 May)

Just a reminder that there is no regular meeting this week.  We’ll be having a social night with the Rotary Club of Temora at Coolamon Cheese.

On the lighter side

International one-upsmanship
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50 m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100 m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200 m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.

The Puzzler

The Puzzler is on stress leave this week as he recovers from the rigours of work. Maybe next week…

Answer to last puzzle

The trees were arranged in a star pattern, with trees located at each point of the star and at the intersections of each line connecting the points to each other.

Diary

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday), joint with Temora Rotary. Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 5 June: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen’s birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY

Week of 8 May

Another slow news week for Coolamon, but lots of plans are being laid (for the changeover, DISCON 2018, bingo, etc.).  We have an interesting speaker for the upcoming meeting on 15 May (Catherine Warren, who heads up Days for Girls, a program to assist young women coming of age in Africa).

On the lighter side

As a older man was driving down the freeway, his mobile phone rang. He answered the phone, and heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Route 290. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!!!”

The Puzzler

The government pays farmers a fee of $100 for each row of four trees they plant. An enterprising but dishonest farmer found a way of planting five rows of four trees using only ten trees. Can you work out how he did it?

Answer to last puzzle

The pictograms interpreted: 1) jack-in-the-box; 2) first aid; 3) eggs over easy; 4) for instance; 5) green with envy; 6) fat chance; 7) bigfoot; 8) sideshow; 9) travel overseas; 10) a friend in deed.

Diary

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 17 May: Board meeting. Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence, 7:00 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 May: Bingo brainstorm meeting, Grahame & Sharon Miles’ residence, 7:30 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

Monday, 5 June: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 12 June: No meeting (Queen’s birthday public holiday).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY

Week of 1 May

It’s been a slow news week, and yours truly has been overloaded with work, so there is no bulletin for this week.  The diary has been updated, but that’s it.  Look for more next week!

Week of 24 April

This week’s meeting featured as guest speaker Jeremy Crocker, a Coolamon local who wears a variety of hats. Jeremy is a Coolamon Shire Councillor, but also manages the noxious weed control program for the shire. Interestingly, Jeremy came to speak to us in neither of those capacities, but as the chair of Coolamon Landcare, another of his hats! Jeremy described some of the projects being undertaken by the group, and shared some information about land development projects on the books for Coolamon. But Jeremy couldn’t stay away from his passion, fighting weeds, and then spent a bit of time talking about some of the major weed problems in the shire and some of the strategies being used to manage the more serious weeds. As there were a fair number of farmers and a weed scientist in the audience, this led to some interesting discussion about weed management. Who would have guessed? Steve Exton thanked Jeremy for an interesting and entertaining talk, and presented Jeremy with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch as token of appreciation. Following a rousing fine session led by Wayne and Dick, the evening concluded with a raffle of a commemorative ANZAC Day tin packed with ANZAC biscuits donated by Paul. Jeremy drew his own number out of the hat, but donated the prize back, which was eventually won by Neil.

On the lighter side

Horsing around
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse. “I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that stuff!”

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

A pony goes to the doctor and tells him, “Doc, I think I’m dying. I have this terrible sore throat.” The doctor assures him, “It’s okay—you’re just a little horse.”

A horse sits down in a movie theatre and the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?”
“Why yes, I am,” replies the horse.
“What are you doing at this movie?”
The horse says, “I really liked the book.”

A desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. The desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. The room goes dead silent. “I’m gonna have one more beer,” the desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, “and if my horse ain’t back where I left him when I’m done, I’ll do here what I had to do in Houston.” The locals murmur uneasily as the desperado sips his drink. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his horse has been returned. As the desperado saddles up, a local can’t help but ask, “Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?” The desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, “I had to walk home.”

Q: How do you make a small fortune breeding horses?
A: Start with a large fortune.

And last but not least…A horse walks into a bar and the barman says “Why the long face?

The Puzzler

Can you work out the common word or phrase contained in the following pictograms?
1.
2. 

3. 

4. 

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Answer to last puzzle

The missing number is 9.  The numbers in the triangles are the sum of the bottom two numbers minus the top number.

Diary

Monday, 1 May: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 May: Planning meeting/DISCON 2018. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 10 May: Bingo. Roster: Paul (Captain), Leslie, Garth, John N. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 17 May: Board meeting. Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence, 7:00 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 May: Bingo brainstorm meeting, Grahame & Sharon Miles’ residence, 7:30 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

Thursday, 8 June: Bingo. Roster: Neil (Captain), Wayne, Leslie, Mark. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 (setup) for 7:30 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Saturday, 24 June: District 9700 changeover. Leeton (details forthcoming).

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY

Weeks of 10 & 17 April

(this issue is a combined issue for two weeks since we had no meeting on 17 April because of the public holiday)

The meeting of 17 April featured the induction of our newest member, Julie Clark. Julie’s mentor, Wayne Lewis, introduced Julie to the members and presented Julie with her dinner badge and Rotary pin after Don performed the formal induction. Julie is keen to get involved in club activities and will be part of the committee to review our bingo program and brainstorm ideas for the future. Welcome to the club, Julie!

Easter markets a big success!

Easter Saturday saw the town of Coolamon come alive with hundreds of visitors and scores of hot rods that paraded down the main street and lined up in the carpark outside the Sport and Rec Club. Our annual Easter Markets took place in the Up-To-Date Store and featured a full house of stall holders selling everything from honey to ladies’ handbags.  The candy from the Junee Licorice and Chocolate factory was a top seller, but most stall holders left the event happy and with a lighter load than they came with.  An estimated 400-500 visitors came through the door, resulting in a generous boost to the club treasury.

A companion event, the annual Art Challenge organised by the Up-To-Date art committee, was held in the park between the two directions of traffic in the main street, and saw a dozen competitors turning ordinary chairs into works of art that were auctioned off as a fundraiser for the UTDS Art Show, to be held later this year.  The successful bidders left with one-of-a-kind works of art, but the masterpiece was the chair featuring an ANZAC Day theme painted by local sign painter Ricky Hard (it brought $250 at auction!).  Coolamon was a vibrant, buzzing town on the day, and it was great to see so many people out and about.  It was a great community event!

On the (not so) lighter side

The Puzzler

What number goes in place of the question mark in the diagram below?

Answer to last puzzle

The word that doesn’t belong is “carrot”.  All of the other words can form new words if the first and last letter of each is removed.  Try that with “carrot”, and you’re left with “arro”, which is not a word in the English language!

Diary

Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am – 3:00 pm.

Monday, 1 May: Planning meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 29 May*: Social Night (5th Monday). Coolamon Cheese, 6:30 for 7 pm (details forthcoming).

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 3 April

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, and a number of important issues were addressed.  A roster was begun for the markets at the Up-To-Date Store on Easter Saturday, but more help is needed.  Members who were unable to attend the meeting but are still keen to help out on the day are requested to contact Paul to get your name on the roster.  Members are asked to consider attending the upcoming Bingo, which will take place on Thursday, 13 April.  Also, board members are reminded to put date of Sunday, 30 April in their diaries; that’s the date of the district training session for incoming directors.  The event will take place in West Wyalong from 10 am through 3 pm; a formal programme will be distributed in the near future.  Should be an interesting day!

We’ll be inducting Julie Clark at Monday’s meeting, so please plan to be there (and bring your partner!).

On the lighter side

This week we have a laugh at the expense of musos, especially those that play instruments that are not universally loved.  Read on and enjoy…

A young child says to his mother, “Mom, when I grow up I’d like to be a musician.” She replies, “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”

Q: How do you make musicians complain?
A: Pay them.

Q: What’s the difference between a pianist and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a pianist.

Q: What’s the difference between terrorists and accordion players?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and five to sing about how good the old one was

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What’s the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated pitch approximator.

Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When you toss a banjo into the bin and it hits an accordion.

Q: What will you never say about a banjo player?
A: “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”

Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of range.

Tuba Player: “Did you hear my last recital?”
Friend: “I hope so.”

The puzzler

One of the words in the following list does not belong. Can you pick it?

seventy
brawl
clover
proper
carrot
swing
change
travel
sacred
stone

Answer to the last Puzzler:

If you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide together in equal amounts, the acid neutralises the base and you’re left with a solution of sodium chloride (salt water), which is harmless to drink (in moderate amounts!).

Diary

Monday, 10 April*: Regular meeting (and induction of Julie Clark). Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Jeremy Crocker, chair of Coolamon Landcare. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly/Director Training (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 10:00 am – 3:00 pm.

Monday, 15 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Catherine Warren, Days for Girls, a Uniting Church Ladies Project. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 22 May*: Regular meeting and guest speaker: Paul Galloway and Gordon Saggers, RC of Wagga, school project in East Timor. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Week of 27 March

Another great meeting!  A bit more subdued than last week’s affair, but still a great opportunity for fellowship and learning a bit more about our newest member, Julie Clark (Julie has been accepted into membership, but won’t be inducted for another week or two).  Julie has got to have one of the most interesting life stories of all our members, and has held interesting jobs everywhere from Tasmania to Perth (and many points in between!).  One of her more surprising occupations was driving massive trucks in the mines of Western Australia.  She’s now selling honey out of Coolamon (her classification is “Purveyor of fine honey”). Julie will add yet another dimension to the club, and we look forward to her involvement.  Ian Jennings thanked Julie for a most interesting talk and presented her with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The meeting concluded with a brief fine session and a raffle, which was won once again by Helen “Lucky” Lewis.

On the lighter side

All the stories in our bulletin are fair dinkum, but there were many news articles of dubious authenticity that appeared in the media on Saturday, 1 April, including the following (copied from BBC News):
 

1. Trump buys Irish high-rise

If you believe the Irish Times, Dublin is to get its very own “Trump Tower”. “Trump Dublin is expected to be completed by the end of 2018,” it exclusively revealed.

Extra credit should go to whoever completed the joke with a fake tweet from Donald Trump: “Bought a small tower in Dublin, Ireland. We are going to build an awesome hotel in Dublin. It will be totally great. Love Ireland! Great country! #trumpdublin”.
 

2. Russian hackers on demand

Inspired by claims that Kremlin-sponsored hackers tried to rig the US election, Russia’s foreign ministry shared “a new answering machine for Russian diplomatic missions abroad” on Facebook.

3. Germany to go GMT

The scamps at the UK’s German embassy tweeted that Germans would shortly vote to “leave, or remain in” Central European Time (CET). “A replica of the Shepherd Gate Clock in Greenwich would be placed atop the World Time Clock in Alexanderplatz, Berlin, in a frivolous symbolic gesture,” the writer deadpanned.

The clues were there for linguists, however – the surname of the “government spokesperson” quoted – Frau Sommerzeit – translates as “Summertime”.
 

4. Triple-decker plane

Emirates airline almost had us going with the claim that it’s planning to unveil a triple-decker plane. Why? Time zones. The UAE gets to 1 April before the UK and without that all-important date-stamp… could it possibly – somehow – be true?

No, is the answer. The Dubai-based carrier has not designed a plane including “a swimming pool, games room, gym & park”.

5. Canine cabin crew

Meanwhile in the Antipodes… Virgin Australia will be the first airline in the world to employ dogs as cabin staff, the company announced on Twitter.

While less useful in an emergency, these little guys might have been a loveable distraction at 40,000

feet.

The puzzler

Hydrochloric acid is a corrosive, fuming, poisonous, highly acidic solution of hydrogen chloride (HCl). Sodium hydroxide is a caustic, strongly alkaline compound (NaOH) used in drain cleaners. If ingested, hydrochloric acid corrodes the mucous membranes, esophagus, and stomach causing dysphagia, nausea, circulatory failure and death. Sodium hydroxide, if ingested, will cause vomiting, prostration, and collapse. Why is it that if you mix these two substances in the right proportions before ingesting them you will not have any poisoning symptoms?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

You were 1 km from the North pole, and walked in a straight line directly toward the pole, then continued in a straight line for one more km.
 

Diary

Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 10 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 13 April: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Ian J (Captain), Don, John B, Daryl.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 17 April: No meeting (public holiday).

Wednesday, 19 April: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Monday, 24 April: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

Monday, 3 July: Coolamon Rotary changeover. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.