Weeks of November 23rd & 30th

Club activities are at a crawl as many members are tied up day and night with harvest.  It looks to be a record-breaking year for most crops, so good luck getting the last of the crop harvested before Christmas.

Because of the large number of members engaged in the harvest, we have not lined up guest speakers for the past few meetings.  We will resume our guest speaker schedule in February.  The lull has given us additional time for fellowship, so the meetings have been quite relaxed.  Sergeant-At-Arms Albert has kept up the pressure on members to behave, lest they become the target of his fine sessions.  The members must be behaving because there have been fairly few fines levied for the past two weeks, but Grahame continues to cop his fair share of abuse.

Don’t forget get your booking in for the Christmas party, which should be a doozy.  The date is Saturday, December 19th–be there or be square!

 

 

OTHER NEWS

CRC BOARD DECISIONS

At the November board meeting of the CRC, the following decisions were made on behalf of our members:

1.  END OF BINGO: That the Coolamon Rotary Club discontinue the running of Bingo nights after the last Bingo on December 10^th 2020.
2.  CHRISTMAS PARTY: To hold the Christmas Party at the Coolamon Sports Club on Saturday December the 19^th.  That the event is to be self-catering.
3.  MONSTER RAFFLE DRAW: That the monster raffle draw for all 9 prizes to take place at the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club at 9.00pm on Thursday December 31st 2020. Albert is or has booked the following dates for the monster raffle: Coolamon Newsagents on Saturday December 12th, Ganmain Newsagency on Friday December 11th, and Coolamon Foodworks on Friday December 18th.
4.  COOLAMON COMMUNITY CHRONICLE:  That the CRC forms a committee to support Sally Farmer with the publication of the CCC.

MONSTER RAFFLE NEWS:

On Friday November 27th a wonderful effort selling the tickets outside the Foodworks supermarket and a total of $1,300 in tickets were sold.  Congratulations to Albert Suidgeest and all who sold the tickets.

 

DIARY

Monday, December 7th – Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, December 7th – District 9705 Special General Meeting (via Zoom). 6:45 pm. The club needs to have a representative at the meeting.

Tuesday December 8th. Coolamon Late Night Christmas Shopping 4.00-8.00pm.  There will be 25 shops taking part and we will be selling monster raffle tickets.  Volunteers required.

Thursday December 10th – THE FINAL BINGO NIGHT FOR COOLAMON ROTARY CLUB. Allawah Community Centre, 6:45 – 10:00 pm. Roster: Henk (Captain),  Albert, Anne, Howard.

Friday December 11th– Monster raffle ticket sales at the Ganmain Newsagency.

Saturday December 12th– Monster raffle ticket sales at Coolamon Newsagency.

Monday, December 14th – LAST Regular Meeting for 2020.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday December 18th- Monster raffle ticket sales at Coolamon Foodworks

Saturday December 19th– CRC Annual Christmas Party at the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start. Whole roast lamb in a roasting oven plus, bookings essential.

Wednesday 20^th January.  First board meeting for 2021, TBC. If required.

Monday 25th January 2021.  First regular meeting for 2021. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 1st. March 2021 COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY .

Details to be announced in the New Year.  Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

REMINDERS

CHRISTMAS PARTY SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19th

Venue: Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start.

Menu includes whole roasted lamb.

 

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: Give one of the girls her apple in the basket.

This week’s puzzler:

How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?

 

 

ROTARY NEWS

1. TOILETRY KITS TO HELP END TRACHOMA

This exciting project is not only continuing the great work of Rotarians in supporting financially the End Trachoma Project, it is also meeting the request of many Rotary Clubs and Rotarians about how we can make a hands-on difference. 

The result: The Toiletry Kit

The Aim: to prepare 2,000 Toiletry kits for distribution to 2,000 school children in 30 schools in the Northern Territory.

How: ask your Rotary Club to commit to making up a certain number of kits (see contents below) – this number will be matched to a school, or for smaller Clubs your effort will be shared with other Clubs to meet the goal for a larger school.

Contact: PDG Michael Milston to record your interest: 0419 414 959  | e: [email protected]

 

2. COOLAMON ROTARY 50th ANNIVERSARY

As you are all aware by now we are having our 50th anniversary of our charter as a member of Rotary International.  The anniversary is March 3rd 2021 our mother club is Narrandera Rotary Club.

The committee for the celebrations is looking for stories of Rotary in Coolamon some detective work is needed on this story sent to us by PP Neil Munro.  If one of you can write up how our club was involved  please send it to us, thanks, and thanks Neil:

 

3.Wagga Rotary women recognised for service.

Thanks to The Wagga Daily Advertiser.

 

JUST FOR LAUGHS

Be careful what you wish for

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go. You’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, “What does this do?” “You’re kidding me!” “Who would buy that?”

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I’d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for ‘Lovable Louise.” She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a “doll” took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise’s pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray.

I went home and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. “What the hell is that?” she asked. My brother quickly explained, “It’s a doll.” “Who would play with something like that?” Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. “Where are her clothes?” Granny continued. “Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,” Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. “Why doesn’t she have any teeth?” Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying,”Hang on Granny! Hang on!”

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, “Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?” I told him she was Jay’s friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa’s last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother’s garage, we conducted a thorough examination and found the cause of Louise’s collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

 

 

 

POSTSCRIPT

ONLY IN AFRICA

 

 

December is Rotary Disease Prevention and Treatment Month