Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-30

Week of 20 March

What a ripper of an evening!  A large number of Rotarians (including many visiting from other clubs) and guests filled the restaurant at the Sport & Rec Club to witness the re-induction of former member Bruce Hamilton and hear some interesting and inspirational presentations by several exchange students and Judith Hall, chair of the District 9700  youth exchange program.  Special guests on the night included DGE George Weston and his wife, Carol, along with AG Bryan Short and his wife, Sally. Following Bruce’s induction, we heard some truly inspirational talks by a current exchange student from Denmark who is finishing up a year in Leeton as well as an exchange student from D9700 who spent a year in Belgium several years ago.  Both students commented on how their experience abroad has changed their lives for the better, how their self-confidence has been boosted, and how they now have friends and family on both sides of the planet!  We also heard from Jackson Wykes, a Coolamon secondary student whom our club is supporting in his quest to be the next exchange student from D9700.  We wish Jackson the best in the interview process and hope he gets the chance to go abroad next year. 

 

 

On the lighter side

St Paddy’s Day Reverie

Two men were sitting next to each other on St. Patrick’s Day at Murphy’s Pub in London.  After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re

from Ireland.”

The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first one says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first one responds, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other bloke says, “A lovely little area it was.  I lived on McCleary Street in the old part of town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.”

The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I! Pray tell, what year did you graduate?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, let’s see.  I graduated in 1964.”

The first one exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smilin’ down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!

At about this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

Vicky says, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

 

The puzzler

You start walking north and you walk in a straight line for two kilometers. When you look at the map, you discover that you actually walked one kilometer north and one kilometer south. How is this possible?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Three hens will lay one dozen eggs over 6 days. Explanation: An egg and a half laid by a hen and a half over a day and a half is equivalent to one egg laid per hen over a day and a half.  Thus, one hen will lay 4 eggs over 6 days, and thus three hens will lay 12 eggs over 6 days.

 

Diary

Monday, 27 March: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 3 April: Club assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-29

Week of 13 March

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Liz Summerville, local rep for the Australian Livestock and Property Agents Association (ALPA).  ALPA serves a number of roles, not the least of which is ensuring that livestock and property agents are well trained and represent their clients well, and are well versed in the marketing of livestock as well as residential and property.  They offer training for auctioneers and host an annual young auctioneer competition, the finals of which are held at the Sydney Royal Easter Show. Ian Durham thanked Liz for an interesting and entertaining presentation and presented her with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch in appreciation.  The evening concluded with a fine session and a raffle, which was won by Dave McKinley.

Members are reminded that we will have some special guests at our next meeting (20 March). Jackson Wykes, our nominee for Rotary Youth Exchange, and his parents will be our guests, along with two students who have participated in the Outward Bound program.  In addition, DGE George Weston and AG Bryan Short will be on hand and will help to induct Bruce Hamilton as he rejoins our club.  We hope to see you there! 

 

On the lighter side

Everyone’s favourite energy drink

 

 

What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?

Mugging!

 

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

 

What do you call sad coffee?

Despresso.

 

How are coffee beans like kids?

They’re always getting grounded!

 

How does a tech guy drink coffee?

He installs Java!

 

What’s black and doesn’t work?

Decaffeinated coffee.

 

Why are Italians so good at making coffee?

Because they know how to espresso themselves.

 

Why do they call coffee mud?

Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

 

How is divorce like espresso?

It’s expensive and bitter.

 

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

Sanka.

 

The puzzler

Okay, we need an easy puzzle after last week’s toughie. See if you can answer this puzzle:

A chook farmer has worked out that a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half. How many hens does the farmer need to produce one dozen eggs in six days?

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The third son bought a candle and a box of matches; when he lit the candle, the candle filled the room with light!

 

Diary

*Monday, 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE.  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.  In addition, we will be re-inducting Bruce Hamilton as a member. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 27 March: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 15 April: Easter markets. Up-To-Date Store, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Sunday, 30 April: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors). West Wyalong High School 9:00 am.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-28

Week of 6 March

This week’s meeting was a club assembly.  Not much exciting to report, but a fair bit of business was taken care of. The evening concluded with a fine session and meat raffle, which was won by Leslie.  Members were asked by Grahame to come and have a go at bingo this week, and the two members who answered the call (Dick and Leslie) were nicely rewarded (both left with more money than they came with!). 

We have some interesting meetings coming up.  This Monday’s meeting (13 March) will feature a guest speaker in Liz Summerville, who is representing the Australian Livestock and Property Association.  At the following Monday’s meeting (20 March), we’ll be inducting (or actually, re-inducting) Bruce Hamilton, a former member (and president) of the club who left a number of years ago but is returning to the fold.  On hand to help with the induction will be DG-elect George Weston and AG Bryan Short.  In addition, we’ll have as special guests Jackson Wykes and his parents as well as Outward Bound students who will share their experience of living abroad for a year.  Jackson is our nominee for Rotary Youth Exchange, and the members are looking forward to meeting these special young people.

 

DGN John Glassford and wife Susan are pictured above cutting cake at the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga celebration of Rotary’s 112th birthday recently.  John was the guest speaker and represented the DG at the event.  Just another day in the life of a DG-to-be!

 

On the lighter side

In case you were wondering where sheep could be found in Australia, take a gander at the map below prepared by cartographers in Mother England in the 1920’s.  The level of precision is simply remarkable!

 

A lesson in overindulgence

After the fifth night in a row of carousing and late night drinking by her husband, Jack, Marge had it.  She decided to teach the scoundrel a lesson.  After Jack stumbled in and fell fast asleep on the sofa in the lounge room, Marge got to work.  She dug out the bag of sheep entrails she had been saving in the fridge, and dumped them in the sink.  After that, she went to bed and off to sleep.

The next morning, when Jack stumbled groggily into the kitchen, Marge said “It looks like you finally did it.  You puked your guts out last night.”

Jack replied “I know, but thanks to God and the help of a spoon, I got them back in.”

 

The puzzler

Okay, we need an easy puzzle after last week’s toughie. See if you can answer this riddle:

An old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons, but he didn’t know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw, but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks, but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room, so he obtained his father’s fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The jumbled animal names were COYOTE, WALRUS, JAGUAR, BEAVER, DONKEY and FERRET.

 

Diary

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE .  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.  In addition, we will be re-inducting Bruce Hamilton as a member.

Wednesday, 15 March: Board meeting (Don Dyce residence). 7 pm.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), West Wyalong High School 9.00am

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-27

Week of 27 February

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Neil and Coral Druce, proprietors of Junee Licorice & Chocolate and Corowa Whiskey and Chocolate. We heard a most interesting story of how the licorice factry came to be, and how the Druces ended up developing a distillery in an abandoned flour mill in Corowa.  Those in attendance listened with great interest as Neil and Coral described how they almost accidentally ended up becoming one of the largest makers and distributors of licorice in eastern Australia, and how they ended up occupying their first abandoned flour mill in Junee.  We learned how whiskey is made in Scotland and in Australia (the Aussie version made by Neil and Coral is made from barley as the starting grain).  Steve Exton formally thanked Neil and Coral, and presented them with our trademark souvenir, kangaroo-hide coin pouches.  The evening concluded with an entertaining fine session led by Ian Jennings and a meat raffle won by Susan Glassford.

SteveThanksNeil&Coral

On the lighter side

 DogGraduateDogDiningDogTerritoryHydrantHead

The puzzler

Scrambled animals

Below are the names of six animals whose letters have been scrambled and divided into two groups of three, but the order of the letters is in sequence in each half.  For example, WOMBAT might be represented as OBA WMT (or WOT MBA, or many other possibilities). One other wrinkle: the groups of three letters for each animal are not in the same row. What are the six animals?

CYO ARU
WLS DNE
EAR FEE
OKY OTE
RRT JAR
AGU BVE

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

There were several correct answers to last week’s puzzler, including 8-4=4 (move the vertical stick from the plus sign to the open side of the 6, making it an 8), 0+4=4 (move the middle horizontal stick of the 6 to the open side, making it a zero), 5+4=9 (move the lower left vertical stick from the 6 to the top of the 4, making the 6 a 5 and the 4 a nine), and 6-4 NE 4 (moving the vertical stick from the plus sign across the equal sign, making it a “not equal” sign).

 

Diary

Monday, 6 March: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 March: Bingo.  6:45 pm, Allawah Lodge. Rostered: Grahame (Captain), Myffy, Dick, Bernie.

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday 20th March YOUTH EXCHANGE .  Jackson Wykes, our proposed 2018 Youth Exchange student, and his family will meet AG Bryan Short, DGE George Weston and at least 2 Outward Bound Students who have returned from 12 months abroad.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-26

(There was no bulletin published last week, so this issue is a two-fer)

 

Week of 13 February

This week’s meeting featured a presentation by Trevor Jose, CEO of the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.  Trevor gave us an update on the current state of affairs of the Sport & Rec Club as they attempt to dig their way out of a rather large debt accumulated over a number of years. The prospects for the long-term recovery of the club look good, based on the serious efforts the club is making to contain costs and pay off debts.  John Nulty thanked Trevor, and presented him with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch in appreciation of a comprehensive and enlightening presentation.

 

Week of 20 February

This week’s meeting was a mini assembly/fellowship meeting. Planning for the telephone directory was the major item of discussion, along with motions that were passed at last week’s board meeting. The meeting concluded with a meat raffle and a fine session led by Sargeant-at-Arms Ted Hutcheon.

 

HayTruck-Wayne

Pictured above is one of Wayne Lewis’s trucks loaded with hay donated by a local farmer and trucked to Dunedoo by Wayne to help cattle farmers in that area cope with the recent devastation caused by bush fires. The club has gotten behind Wayne, and has recommended that we reimburse Wayne for his generous gesture. Good on ya, Wayne!

 

On the lighter side

You know you’re old when…

In a hostage situation you’re likely to be released first.

You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

“Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take a laxative.

When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

You’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course.

When you’re told to act your own age, and you die.

 

The puzzler

Here’s a matchstick puzzle for you:

matchstick-brainteaser-facebook

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

Container 5 will fill up first.

 

Diary

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate Factory.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Monday, 6 March: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 March: Bingo.  6:45 pm, Allawah Lodge. Rostered: Grahame (Captain), Myffy, Dick, Bernie.

*Monday, 13 March: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Liz Summerville, Australian Livestock & Property Association. 6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-25

Week of 6 February

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, which gave us some time to do some reflection of the NYE festival and some planning for the upcoming telephone directory and other activities.  It was a good way to get back into the swing of things after a lengthy time away from serious business.  The meeting finished right on 9:00, which is a great start to the new year because we’ll need to be more mindful of the ending time as the club will not be keeping staff on beyond that time.  Speaking of the club, you might want to come to Monday’s meeting (13 Feb) to hear an update on the status of the club by Trevor Jose, CEO of the sport & rec club.  

One other bit of news: Trevor Parkes is now home from hospital and recuperating!  He still has a bit of rehabilitation to undergo, but he has recovered from pacreatitis and is well on the path to normal activity. We look forward to having you back on board, Trevor!

 

On the lighter side

Here’s a collection of quotes by a number of American talk show hosts and commetators over the course of the recent presidential campaign in the US.  Now that Trump is president, a lot of these quotes don’t sound so funny, even if they’re stretching the truth a bit!

“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won’t do.”–Mitt Romney

“Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them ‘anxious.’ And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them ‘Canadian.’”–Conan O’Brien

“Analysts say Hillary Clinton’s plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as ‘dangerous and bigoted.’ She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.”—Conan O’Brien

“After he won yesterday’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, ‘I love the poorly educated.’ Trump then said, ‘And when I’m president there’ll be more of them than ever.’” —Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump said yesterday that if he’s elected, he would ‘probably not talk as much.’ That’s right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless.”—Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, ‘They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.’”—Conan O’Brien

“A word association poll found the words most associated with Donald Trump are idiot, jerk, stupid, and dumb. In other words, he really could be our next president. He’s got everything it takes.”—Conan O’Brien

 

The puzzler

Here’s a visual puzzler submitted by John Glassford, who has disqualified himself from any prize.  Which container in the diagram below will fill with water first once the flow is turned on to container 1?

WaterFlowPuzzle

 

Answer to the last Puzzler:

The missing numbers are 12 and 11, in that order.  The order is important because the second number is subtracted from the first to give the first digit (or two) of the resulting number; the second two digits of the result are the sum of the two numbers on the left side of the equation.

 

Diary

*Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Trevor Jose, CEO Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, speaking on the status of the club.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 

Monday, 20 February: Regular meeting.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

*Monday, 27 February: Regular meeting. Guest speaker: Neil & Coral Druce, Junee Licorice and Chocolate.  6:30 for 7:00 pm,  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-24

Holiday Fellowship

A most enjoyable Christmas party was held at the residence of President Don and his partner Sally on 11 December.  As usual, we were treated to abundant appetizers, mains, and assorted desserts, along with great conversation and fellowship.  We hosted several members of the Rotary Club of Wagga Wagga Wollundry, who presented President Don with a cheque for the assistance we provided Gears and Beers when it came through Coolamon in October.  The evening closed with a surprise performance by John Bond, who played an assortment of Christmas songs on his cello.

Xmas2016-1smXmas2016-4sm

Xmas2016-3sm

Because a number of members were unable to attend the Christmas party because of the late harvest, a special evening of fellowship was held at the residence of Grahame and Sharon Miles in early January.  It was a splendid evening of good food, drink and conversation, and the type of event that many would like to see repeated.  A full moon was a nice capstone to the wonderful event, and we thank Grahame and Sharon for hosting us on the evening.

Miles1-sm

Miles2-sm

Miles3-sm

 

Week of 23 January

The club has woken from its Christmas hibernation, and is starting to get back into action. This week’s meeting featured a bit of discussion regarding the New Year’s Eve festival and how it might be improved for next year. All in all, it was a successful evening, with the club distributing wrist bands to the nippers and serving up steak sandwiches and hot dogs from the food van. Proceeds of the food sales and raffle tickets more than covered the cost of giving away several hundred free hot dogs to the little ones. The NYE festival is a great community event, and one that generates good exposure for the club. It was a great way to see in the new year.

The club was treated to a most interesting life story delivered by our own John Bond. John has led an interesting life, and his involvement in electronic communication had taken him to many interesting, but remote, locations in Australia. John expertise in satellite communications made him a valuable asset in various military operations and ongoing surveillance of international activities. Dick thanked John for a very good talk, despite the absence of the club projector to display the images John had planned to present.

The evening concluded with a raffle and fellowship.

DickThanksJohnBond-sm

 

 

Week of 30 January

The club went on the road for our weekly meeting, catching up with mates in the Lockart club for a meal and fellowship at the Crossroads Hotel in Collingullie, halfway between Coolamon and Lockhart. Yours truly was unable to attend, but judging from the pics that were sent to me (see below), a good time was had by all. Our next meeting will be a club assembly on 6 Feb, so please make a point to come to this important planning meeting.

Gullie1-sm

Gullie3-sm

 

 

On the lighter side

Oy vey!

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asks Abe, “Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?”


Abe replies, “I don’t know, let’s ask our waiter.”


When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”


The waiter says, “I don’t know señor, I ask the cooks.


He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,”No señor, the cook say no Mexican Jews.”


Abe isn’t satisfied and asks, “Are you absolutely sure?”


The waiter, realizing he is dealing with “gringos” replies, “I check once again, señor,” and goes back into the kitchen.


While the waiter is away, Sid says, “I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ….Our people are scattered everywhere.”


The waiter returns and says, “Señor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews.”


“Are you certain?” Abe asks again. “I just can’t believe there are no Mexican Jews!”


“Señor, I ask EVERYONE,” replies the exasperated waiter. “All we have is orange jews, grape jews, prune jews, tomato jews and apple jews, but no Mexican jews.”

 

The puzzler

New maths

What two numbers belong in the spaces occupied by question marks in the last line of the following equations?

6 + 4 = 210
9 + 2 = 711
8 + 5 = 313
5 + 2 = 37
7 + 6 = 113
9 + 8 = 117
10 + 6 = 416
15 + 3 = 1218
?? + ?? = 123

Answer to the last Puzzler:

There seems to be more than one answer to the puzzle of which animals went to each child, but if you assume that three of each stuffed animal were distributed, there’s only one correct answer: Alice received a bunny, puppy and bear, Ben: bunny, cat, deer; Carol: cat, puppy, bear; David: bunny, puppy, deer; and Edith: cat, bear and deer.  Seemples!

 

Diary

Monday, 6 February: Club Assembly. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Thursday, 9 February: Bingo. 6:45 pm.  Allawah Lodge. Roster: Henk (Captain), Dave, Ian D, Alex.

Monday, 13 February: Regular meeting. 6:30 for 7:00 pm.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-23

Week of 5 December

nye

Our last meeting of the year was a planning meeting for upcoming events.  A roster was drafted for the NYE festival in Coolamon, which has been circulated to members.  We also discussed the Easter markets, which should be a sizeable event this year because of the show and shine that held by the hot rod club of Narrandera in the streets of Coolamon.  A garden viewing is rumoured to be in the works for the same day, and visitors to the recently opened cheese factory may swell the attendance.

Our Christmas party will be held on Saturday, 10 December, so don’t forget to bring your nominated food for the evening.  The event will take place at the Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence on Loughnan Street at 6:30 for 7 pm on December 10.  Be there or be square!

Best wishes for a safe and happy festive season.  Our meetings will resume on 23 January (details to be announced).  Rest up, and see you then!

 

Bingo – Don’t forget – Really!

Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won’t be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

The Lighter Side

 christmasgrouptherapy

dog-christmas

snowmanholdup

 

The puzzler

During a Christmas Party, Santa gave away several stuffed animals for the children.  Alice, Ben, Carol, David and Edith each receive three of the following stuffed animals:  bunny, cat, puppy, bear, or deer.  The only animal Alice and Ben have in common is a bunny.  The only animal Ben and Carol have in common is a cat.  The only animal Carol and David have in common is a puppy.  Ben did not receive a bear.

Name the stuffed animals that Alice, Ben, Carol, David and Edith each received.

 

Answer to last week’s Puzzler:

The next number is 19.  The other numbers are the prime numbers, starting with 5. Coincidentally, the other numbers form a sequence obtained by adding two, then four, then two, etc., which would lead to the same answer (19).

 

Diary

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence. 6:30 for 7:00 pm. Bring your nominated plate and drinks!

Monday, 23 January: First meeting of 2017. Details TBD.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-22

Week of 28 November

Because of the large number of members engaged with the harvest, we held a bowls and pizza night this week.  Nine members showed up on the night and enjoyed some social bowls and pizza cooked by the Sport & Rec Club staff.  The favourite pizza on the night was the ham & pineapple, followed closely by the supreme.  The big surprise of the night was Deadeye Glassford, who allegedly had never played lawn bowls before but made the winning shot for his side on the very last bowl of the night.  A good time was had by all, who left the club fully satiated.

 

Bingo – Don’t forget

Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won’t be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

The Lighter Side

Say what?

If you understand English, press 1.  If you do not understand English, press 2. – Recording on an Australian tax helpline.

I bought one of those CDs to teach you Spanish in your sleep.  During the night, the CD skipped, and now I can only stutter in Spanish – Steven Wright.

the-difference-grammar

lets-eat-grandma

subordinate-clauses

 

The puzzler

What number comes next in the diagonal sequence below?

numbersequence

 

Answer to last week’s Puzzler:

The missing word was “htarw” (“wrath” spelled backwards).   The other words in the list were six of the seven deadly sins, all spelled backwards.

 

Diary

Monday, 5 December: Regular meeting (last meeting of 2016).  Guest speaker: Ben Delgarno, speaking on his planned trip to Cambodia and associated project.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 8 December: Bingo. Allawah Lodge. Roster: Ian D (Captain), Garth, Alex, Grahame.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence. Details forthcoming.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #1617-21

Week of 21 November

This week’s meeting was a club assembly.  A range of topics were discussed, including the future of the Sport & Rec Club, the 2017 telephone directory, and motions passed at the last board meeting.  There was some lively discussion and interesting debate, signs of a healthy club!

 

Street Raffle on Saturday, 26 November

A reminder to members who are rostered on to sit at the street raffle on Saturday.  Rostered on are Daryl and Don from 6:00-8:00, Henk and Alex from 8:00-10:00, and Paul and Leslie from 10:00-12:00.  Proceeds of the street raffle will go to aid the victims of the recent earthquakes in New Zealand.

 

Bingo – what’s your pleasure?

Grahame is putting together the roster for bingo for the next year.  If you have a preference to be rostered on for a particular month, or if you know that you won’t be available during certain months, please let Grahame know now.

 

Social Bowls

Because of the late harvest this year, the number of participants in the pre-Christmas social bowls at the Sport & Rec Club is quite low.  The comp will go on, but it’s not necessary to register a team–you can simply show up on the night.  With the reduced competition, the chances of winning the prizes on offer are better than ever, so give it a go!

 

The Lighter Side

If you can’t laugh with him….
If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card.

Why doesn’t Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.

Q: What’s the difference between Donald Trump and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s Donald Trump.
Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again.
Donald Trump getting elected President has already had a positive effect on the economy.  Sales of alcohol have never been higher.
My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.”
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.
“No, a surface to hair missile.”
Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump. Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.
“You’re telling me I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? Why, because I’m black?!?”
“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”
What happens when you take a joke too far?
The 45th President of the United States of America.

 

The puzzler

What word is missing from this sequence?

htols edirp tsul deerg yvne ynottulg _____

 

Answer to last week’s Puzzler:

Pour the juice from the 6th glass into the 3rd glass!

 

Diary

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Thursday, 8 December: Bingo. Allawah Lodge. Roster: Ian D (Captain), Garth, Alex, Grahame.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.