Paul

Week of 29 August

This week we decided to have an alternative meeting in lieu of our regular weekly meeting because it was the fifth Monday of the month.  Although it’s not the usual time of year for lawn bowls, we bowled and dined on pizza at the Sport and Rec Club.  A fair few members had other commitments, but we had ten bowlers (7 members plus 3 guests) game enough to brave the winter chill, which was quite tolerable because of the cloud cover and still air.  The team of Daryl Breust and Kevin Farrell defeated Henk Hulsman and Helen Lewis, while the team of Don Dyce, John Bond and Paul Weston bested Alex Thompson, Marion Farrell and Wayne Lewis.  Non-stop pizza helped fuel the bowlers, but the form of some may have been hampered by the excess food intake.  John Bond won the extra raffle ticket by virtue of solving last week’s puzzler, but that wasn’t enough for him to win the meat tray, which was won by our fearless leader, Don.

 

Moo Poo Working Bee, Take 2

Another working bee is scheduled for this Saturday, 3 September to continue bagging the miracle garden supplement known as Moo Poo.  We’ll be meeting at 8:00 at Ted’s place and will be working under cover, so we’re on come rain or shine.  Be there or be square!

IMPORTANT REVISION: THE WORKING BEE HAS BEEN POSTPONED BECAUSE OF RAIN, WHICH WILL MAKE IT LIKELY THAT VEHICLES WILL BECOME BOGGED GETTING INTO AND OUT OF THE STORAGE AREA. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

FU

 

Coolamon Community Chronicle, Issue 2

The September issue of the CCC is off the press and available at local shops around the shire.  This issue is special in that it was entirely put together by students at the Coolamon Central School.  Pick up a copy and have a squiz!

 

Bingo Jackpot at an All-Time High!

September’s bingo (next Thursday, 8 September) might be a good time to whip out your bingo marker and make your way to Allawah Lodge.  The jackpot will be $180, the highest it’s ever been, and it likely to go off on the night.  So, turn off the telly, get off yer bums, and make your way to Rotary bingo at 6:45 for 7:00 pm (and bring a plate of goodies, please!).  The members rostered on for the night (Paul, Ivan, Steve and Garth) are reminded to show up ready to work.

 

On the lighter side

Magic father
Jake: What does your father do for a living?
Matt: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Don’t look now!
An armed hooded robber bursts into Westpac and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber’s face.

The robber shoots the man without hesitation.

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

“Did anyone else see my face?” screams the robber.

There is a few moments of silence then one elderly woman, looking down, tentatively raises her hand and says, “I think my husband here may have caught a glimpse.”

The Puzzler

This week’s puzzler is short and sweet: Suppose you flip an unbiased coin four times and get four heads in a row.  What are the odds that you’ll get heads on the fifth toss?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: Bill had 7 apples and John had 5. You can work this out by trial and error, or by solving simultaneous equations!

 

Diary

Monday, 5 September: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm start.

Thursday, 8 September: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Roster: Paul Weston (Capt), Ivan Furner, Steve Exton, Garth Perkin.

Saturday, 10 September: Youth Sports Awards Night. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 5:00-8:00 pm (club members will be manning the BBQ).

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 14 September: Board meeting.  Don Dyce & Sally Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Plot Twilight Tour (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Stay tuned for details.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Regular meeting, 22 August

This week’s meeting was a regular meeting at which we hosted a number of Rotarians from Wagga/Woollundry to discuss our role in the upcoming Gears and Beers event, to be held on the Sunday of the October long weekend (2 October).  The event is growing, so additional riders are expected to pass through the town as they make their way through the shire.  We’ll be expected to direct riders and hand out water and fruit. Other fine points of the ride were covered in an effort to ensure an even more successful event than last year.

Pictured above (foreground) are Phil McIntosh (Woollundry), Daryl Breust, Wayne Lewis, John Nulty, and Neil Munro.  Pictured below are David Byfield (Woollundry), David Benn (Woollundry), Garth Perkin and Ian Jennings.

It was a fine evening of fellowship with our visitors from Wagga.  The evening concluded with an entertaining fine session led by Sargeant-At-Arms Ted Hutcheon, although Ted’s grasp of the facts slipped a bit this week.  The raffle was won by visiting Rotarian David Byfield.

 

Moo Poo Working Bee

A very successful working been was held on Saturday to get a start on bagging the miracle product “Moo Poo” (composted cow manure).  Assisting on the day were Don Dyce, Wayne Lewis, Dave McKinley, John Glassford, Alex Thompson, Daryl Breust, Neil Munro, John Bond and Ted Hutcheon.  All up, some 250 bags were packed and stacked on pallets, ready for delivery to our business partners in Ganmain (At & Vet), Coolamon (Delta Ag) and Marrar (Marrar Sales & Service).  The product is selling for $6 per bag, or $30 for 6 bags. Another working bee will be held on Saturday week to continue to process of bagging this wonder of nature.

On the lighter side

Another way to tell the sex of a fly

Any experienced entomologist will tell you the easiest way to tell the sex of a moth is to turn it on its back and look between its legs for mothballs.

Run for your life!

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes. His partner says, “What are you doing? You can’t outrun a bear!” His friend replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!”

 

A puzzler for you

Bill and John both have some apples.  If Bill gives one apple to John, they’ll both have the same number of apples.  If John gives an apple to Bill, Bill will have twice as many apples as John.  How many apples do Bill and John have?

Answer to last week’s puzzler

First, fill the three-gallon jug with milk and pour it into the five-gallon jug.  Then ill the three-gallon jug again, and transfer two gallons to the five-gallon jug, which will now be full.  What is left in the three-gallon jug is exactly one gallon.

 

Diary

29 August: Bowls & Pizza night (in lieu of regular meeting).  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 pm.  Feel free to invite prospective members (but let Ian J know).

Monday, 5 September: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm start.

Thursday, 8 September: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Roster: Paul Weston (Capt), Ivan Furner, Steve Exton, Garth Perkin.

Saturday, 10 September: Youth Sports Awards Night. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 5:00-8:00 pm (club members will be manning the BBQ).

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 14 September: Board meeting.  Don Dyce & Sally Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Plot Twilight Tour (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Stay tuned for details.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 

Regular meeting, 15 August

Our meeting this week featured a presentation by Greg Higgins, a first aid trainer, speaking on “Heart Attack and Strokes: What to Do”.  Greg did an excellent job explaining the role of first aid, and how to recognise symptoms of heart attack and stroke and what to do if someone displays symptoms.  One of the important points Greg made was that the role of a first aider is not necessarily to save lives, but to make victims comfortable and stabilise them until paramedics arrive on the scene, and to make sure that paramedics have been contacted.

Heart attack symptoms include chest pain radiating to the jaw and arm (left arm in men, either in women) and nausea.  Symptoms of stroke include facial drooping, arm weakness, and difficulty with speech (combined with Time to act, these symptoms spell the acronym FAST).  Greg also spoke a bit about anaphylactic shock, which results from allergic reaction (mainly to foods like peanuts, shellfish, eggs, etc).  Symptoms include facial swelling, difficulty breathing or swallowing, abdominal cramps, and collapse.  The best course of first aid is application of an epi-pen, which most people with allergies would carry with them.  Greg demonstrated correct technique to administer an epi-pen shot using dummy epi-pens which everyone had a chance to play with.

Greg finished off with a demonstration of a heart defibrillator, with member Alex Thompson following the instructions spoken by the machine and applying them to a two-dimensional representation of a human victim of heart attack.  It was a very interesting and informative talk, which member Dave McKinley acknowledged as he thanked Greg by presentating him with the obligatory kangaroo hide coin pouch.  The evening concluded with a fine session led by Sargeant-At-Arms Ted Hutcheon and a meat raffle, which was won (again) by John Glassford.

 

 

Moo Poo Working Bee

Just a reminder to all members that a working bee will be held this Saturday at Ted Hutcheon’s place to start bagging Moo Poo, which was picked up by Wayne this week.  Things will kick off at 8:00 am rain or shine. Members Alex, Dave, Daryl, Don, Garth, John G, John B, Neil, Ted and Wayne have indicated that they will definitely or possibly be available to assist, so please be there!  Others are welcome if time permits.

 

On the lighter side

How to tell the sex of a fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a  flyswatter.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Hunting flies” he responded.

 

“Oh, killing any?” she asked.

“Yep, three males, two females” he replied.

 

Intrigued, she asked “How can you tell?”

He responded “Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone.”

 

A puzzler for you

A milkman has two empty jugs, a three-gallon jug and a five-gallon jug.  How can he measure exactly one gallon without wasting any milk?

 

Answer to last week’s puzzler

The speaker is the daughter of Teresa

 

Diary

Saturday 20 August: Moo Poo working bee. Ted Hutcheon residence, 8:00 am.

Monday 22nd August:  Meeting with visit by John Mason from the Wollundry RC on the Gears and Beers October Long Weekend.

Thursday, 25 August: Australian Rotary Health Indigenous Australian Medical Scholarship Informational Program, Wagga Mercure, 6:30 pm start.

29 August: Bowls & Pizza night (in lieu of regular meeting).  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 pm.  Feel free to invite prospective members (but let Ian J know).

Monday, 5 September: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm start.

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 14 September: Board meeting.  Don Dyce & Sally Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Day (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Stay tuned for details.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 

Club Assembly, 8 August

This week’s meeting was a club assembly, so not much exciting to report but a number of important items nonetheless:

Trevor Parkes update – Trevor is still in hospital with no diagnosis.  A second opinion is being sought.

Working with Children – members need to register.  Please see the separate item in this bulletin.

Hospital Fete – The date has been set for 22 October.  We’ve been asked to help again, so members please save the date.

Youth programs – Director Dick would like assistance from another member to run the youth programs of the club.  Contact Dick directly if interested.

Shop Locally campaign – The campaign has lost a bit of puff, so it’s time to strategise for the future of the campaign.  In the meantime, members are urged to shop locally whenever possible to set a good example for the rest of the community.

District Convention 2019 – DGN John G would like to schedule a committee meeting sometime for the coming fortnight.  Committee members are asked to keep an eye out for an announcement soon.

Telephone Directory 2017 – It’s time to start organising the next directory.  Let Directory chair Ian D know if you’re interested in serving on this important committee.

Membership – Director Leslie is looking for a new member for her committee, preferably one of the newer members of the club.  Leslie has some ideas to generate interest in the club, including holding a Trivia Night and having club outings in lieu of some regular meetings.  In that vein, Leslie is organising a Field Day (evening) at her research plots at the CSU farm on Prices Road.  The date is tentatively set for 26 September, weather permitting.  The Easter Markets will go forth on Easter Saturday, and will feature a variety of vintage cars (and the Tesla!) from various clubs and individuals.

Moo Poo – The project will start up soon, as soon as weather permits.  Look for a call for help bagging the product in the coming weeks.

 

Working with Children

All club members who are involved with projects involving youth (that’s the entire club!) are required to undergo a Working With Children (WWC) check with the government of NSW.  The process begins with completing a form online (at https://www.kidsguardian.nsw.gov.au/working-with-children/working-with-children-check, or simply google WWC NSW).  After completing the form, you will receive an e-mail (or snail mail) with a confirmation number that must be taken to Roads and Maritime Services (formerly RTA) in Wagga.  There, you simply present the number and your driver’s licence as proof of identity, and you’re done!  Once the process is completed, please forward your WWC number and date of birth to Secretary Steve (the numbers need to be kept on file with the secretary).  The confirmation number is good for five years, and all members need to undergo the check, so do it today if you haven’t already done so.

 

On the lighter side

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I’m so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?”

Bill thought for a while and said, “I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.”

Hillary was shocked, but said, “Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I’m disappointed and saddened by your behavior; however, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem.”

Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace.  A little while later Hillary asked Bill, “So why do you have all that money in the box?”

He answered, “Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center.”

A puzzler for you

If Teresa’s daughter is my daughter’s mother, what is my relationship to Teresa?

a) Grandmother, b) Mother, c) Daughter, d) Granddaughter, e) I am Teresa, f) Father.

 

Answer to last week’s puzzler

The cost of the ball was 5 cents.

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, 15 August: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. Guest speaker: Greg Higgins, “Heart Attacks and Stroke”.  Partners welcome.

Wednesday, 17 August: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 August: Australian Rotary Health Indigenous Australian Medical Scholarship Informational Program, Wagga Mercure, 6:30 pm start. Answer to riddle: wholesome!

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Day (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Stay tuned for details.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Regular Meeting, 1 August

Monday’s meeting was a special event as we welcomed another member to the club.  John Bond of Millwood Road in Coolamon was inducted to a warm welcome by a good rollup of members.  John has a background in electronic communications and in teaching the same through TAFE.  John’s mentor is his neighbor, Garth Perkin, who formally introduced John to the club during the induction ceremony.  John will be assisting Steve with secretarial duties.

At this week’s meeting, we were treated to an excellent presentation by Scott Norman, a resident of Ganmain and multifaceted individual who shared with us his experience of owning a Tesla electric car and the passion behind his decision to purchase this unusual vehicle.  Dr Norman is a lecturer in animal reproduction at CSU in addition to co-owning a private veterinary practice (Farm and Pet Vet) in Ganmain with his wife, Jenny (Dr Jennifer Larson).  Scott purchased his Tesla Model S a couple of years ago after waiting for the Tesla to come to market (he had been following its development since Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla Motors, released his electric Roadster sports car in 2008).  The Model S is an amazing vehicle more like an aircraft than a car; equipped with forward-looking radar, ultrasonic sensors and a sophisticated computer control system, the vehicle is essentially able to drive itself when in autopilot mode (although this is strongly discouraged).  Acceleration from 0 to 100 km/hr in about 4 seconds, five-star ANCAP safety rating, essentially zero maintenance costs and a fuel efficiency equivalent to 2-3 L/100 km (and essentially free operation when charging the batteries with solar panels) are features enough to give anyone a case of vehicle envy (until you consider the cost, which is in the vicinity of $120,000 AUD).  Interestingly, the high-tech features are not what motivated Scott to buy the Tesla, it was the reduced environmental impact.  The dramatic fuel efficiency and greatly reduced environmental impact (read zero emissions) are the driving forces behind Scott’s decision to spend so much on a motor vehicle. 

Those in attendance were duly impressed with Scott’s presentation, and left with a bit of motor envy.  Ian Jennings thanked Scott and presented him with a kangaroo hide coin purse.  Following the talk, the raffle was drawn and was won by Bernie Milne.  Another brilliant fine session was conducted by Sergeant-At-Arms Ted Hutcheon, which left the members in stitches.

 

Launch of the Coolamon Community Chronicle

On Saturday morning, a number of club members, led by newspaper committee chairperson Myffy Collette, distributed copies of the inaugural issue of the Coolamon Community Chronicle to passersby outside the newsagency in Coolamon.  The newspaper was received enthusiastically by most who received a copy.  The newspaper will be produced monthly by the club and students in Beth Batcheldor’s class at Coolamon Central School, and will be distributed free of charge to the community at various locations throughout the shire.  Thanks to co-chairs Myffy and Bernie and the members of the committee (club members Don Dyce, Grahame Miles and Paul Weston as well as Beth Batcheldor from CSC and her students) for the efforts that made production of this nice little newspaper possible.

 

Don’t forget the Census!

Just a reminder to complete your census form this coming Tuesday, 9 August. The census can be completed online, or via the paper form that has been sent to every household in the country.  Stand up and be counted!

 

On the lighter side

Life Insurance

Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency.

During the discussion, she asked. “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today for a million dollars, and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?”

The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably a life sentence.”

A puzzler for you

A bat and a ball cost $1.10. The bat costs one dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? (Answer next week)

Answer to last week’s puzzler

The coppers knew the man committed the crime because he came straight to the crime scene without being told where it was.

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, 8 August: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. No guests.

Thursday, 11 August: Bingo [Grahame (Capt), Daryl, Wayne and Ted]

Monday, 15 August: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 17 August: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 August: Australian Rotary Health Indigenous Australian Medical Scholarship Informational Program, Wagga Mercure, 6:30 pm start. Answer to riddle: wholesome!

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting 25th July

This week’s meeting was a regular meeting with a couple of very interesting guest speakers, Fanny Lamouille and Jeremy Rey from Annecy, France.  Fanny and Jeremy are a young couple that left well paying jobs in Geneva, Switzerland (a short commute from their house in France) and made the big trip to Sydney to give it a whirl.  After spending several months in Sydney and not finding what they were looking for, they ended up in Ganmain and have been doing a range of jobs for John and Susan Glassford with their straw house construction business.  Fanny and Jeremy love their Australian life, but do miss the pastries, cheeses and other delicacies of their homeland.  They plan to move to Melbourne and spend another year or more down under before deciding their next move.  Leslie thanked the pair of speakers (in French!) and presented them with a kangaroo hide coin pouch (photo below). The evening was finished off with a raffle (won by Paul) and a brilliant fine session by Sargeant-At-Arms Ted Hutcheon, who really outdid himself!

 

Up To Date Art Exhibition

The social event of the year took place on Friday evening with the opening of the art show at the Up To Date Store.  The show continues to grow, and features some exceptional artwork created by artists from Coolamon and throughout the Riverina.  A number of Rotarians were in the crowd, including President Don Dyce, who presented the award for sculpture and ceramics, which was sponsored by Coolamon Rotary.  The winning entry was an elaborate birdhouse created by Gabby Thompson and Albert Suidgeest. Pictured in the photo below (from left to right) are Gabby, Suzanne Houghton (the artist in residence), Jean-Claude Pretorius (show judge), and President Don.  The other photo depicts Gabby & Albert’s winning birdhouse sculpture.  Other Rotarians in attendance at the show included Ian (and Marilyn) Jennings, John (and Suzie) Glassford, Alex Thompson, Wayne (and Helen) Lewis, Paul & Leslie Weston, and Mike Perrott (Narrandera Rotary).  Also in the crowd was Don’s partner, Sally Farmer, who exhibited an intricate mosaic.  As always, it was an excellent show and very enjoyable evening.  The exhibit will be on display through Sunday (31 July), so there’s still time to take in some excellent artwork.

 

 

On the lighter side

Things Dad Will Never Say

1. Well, how about that! I’m lost. Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
2. You know, pumpkin. Now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
3.  I noticed that all your friends have a certain negative attitude. I like that!
4.  Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!
5. What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
6.  Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.
7.  Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies. You know, that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
8. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now, quit your belly aching and let’s go to the mall.
9.  What do you want to go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
10.  Father’s Day? Ah, don’t worry about that. It’s no big deal!

The power of prayer

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.

“Johnny, wait until we say our prayer.”

“I don’t have to,” the boy replied.

“Of course you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at
our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Johnny explained, “but this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook.”

The puzzler

One night, a man receives a call from the police. The police tell the man that his wife was murdered, and that he should reach the crime scene as soon as possible. The man drops the phone, shocked, and drives 20 minutes to the crime scene. As soon as he reaches the crime scene, the police arrest him and he is convicted of murder. How the police know that he committed the crime?

Answer to last week’s puzzler:

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, 1 August: Regular meeting*. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. Guest speaker: Scott Norman (The pleasures of owning a Tesla!)

Monday, 8 August: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. No guests.

Thursday, 11 August: Bingo [Grahame (Capt), Daryl, Wayne and Ted]

Monday, 15 August: Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 17 August: Board meeting. Don Dyce residence, 7 pm.

Thursday, 25 August: Australian Rotary Health Indigenous Australian Medical Scholarship Informational Program, Wagga Mercure, 6:30 pm start. Answer to riddle: wholesome!

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting 18th July

This week’s meeting was the first club assembly of the new Rotary year.  Much of the meeting was spent tidying up loose ends, but a few announcements livened up the proceedings.  Myffy Collette announced that the first issue of the newspaper will be going to the printer this weekend, and would be distributed on the following Saturday.  To publicise the arrival of the paper, Myffy has obtained permission from the shire council to set up a table in the plaza next to the newsagency and distribute copies of the paper to passersby.  Following that, the papers will be brought to the various distribution points around the shire, where they will be available for pickup by community members.  This is a very exciting project and one that has the potential to have a very large impact on the Coolamon shire.  The newspaper committee are looking for any stories of local interest to include in the paper, so don’t hesitate to send your pieces to a member of the committee (Myffy, Bernie Milne, Grahame Miles and Paul Weston).

John Glassford and Dick Jennings attended the Narrandera changeover last Wednesday, where they were presented with a cheque in the amount of $1000 for RAGES (Rotary Action Group for Endangered Species, an initiative headed up by John).  It’s very gratifying to see local clubs getting behind this international program.

Last week’s bingo at Allawah Lodge was profitable, despite the relatively low turnout.  Winter weather seems to keep the bingo players at home, but more of them might show up next month when they hear that the jackpot continues to grow (now at $170, supplemented in part by Myffy’s generous donation of her raffle winnings at the bingo).  Organisers Neil Munro and Grahame Miles are encouraging all members to try their hand at bingo next month.  As usual, all profits generated by bingo are spent on enhancements to the facilities at the hospital and retirement home.

The street raffle was surprisingly profitable last Saturday, aided no doubt by the lure of a beautiful load of firewood on offer.  Proceeds were twice what the street raffle typically generates, and the members selling tickets had to work hard to keep from drooling over the gorgeous load of wood in the trailer parked in front of the newsagency. In the end, the prize was won by local resident Jean Young, who happily donated it to her daughter and son-in-law, Cathy and Mal Roberts, since Jean doesn’t have a wood fire.  Thanks to members Rod Jarrett, Daryl Breust, John Glassford, Wayne Lewis, Trevor Parkes and Paul Weston who braved the frigid temperatures to sell tickets, and to Wayne and Trevor for loading the wood on Friday.

The formal proceedings of the assembly were uneventful in the end, despite some spirited discussion about the frequency and nature of our weekly meetings.  We decided to recommend to the board that we make no change to the bylaws regarding the frequency of meetings, but several suggestions may result in some minor changes to some of the meetings (including increasing the frequency of meetings away from our traditional meeting location and shifting board meetings to weeks when bingo is not on to avoid overloading weeks with too many Rotary events).

The evening was finished off with a raffle (won by John G) and a rousing fine session by Sargeant-At-Arms Ted Hutcheon, who is secretly hoping for a win by Donald Trump in the US election in November.

 

District 9700 Directory Now Available

Do you have your district directory yet? In case you’ve been living under a log, the directory is no longer being printed; it’s available only as a download from the district website.  All members of the district should have received an e-mail in the past week describing how to access the directory, but in case you missed it, simply go to the district website and click on the link “2016-17  District Directory” from the home page.

 

On the lighter side

Riddle: What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over? (answer somewhere below)

The puzzler

Here’s a visual puzzle for you:

Answer to last puzzler: There were 24 triangles of various sizes, including the whole figure itself.

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, July 25: Regular meeting

Monday, August 1: Regular meeting*. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. Guest speaker: Scott Norman (The pleasures of owning a Tesla!)

Thursday, August 11: Bingo [Grahame (Capt), Daryl, Wayne and Ted]

Thursday, August 25: Australian Rotary Health Indigenous Australian Medical Scholarship Informational Program, Wagga Mercure, 6:30 pm start. Answer to riddle: wholesome!

Monday, September 12: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Saturday, September 17: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening!

Sunday, October 2: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, October 16: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting 11th July

A regular meeting was held on 11 July at the Coolamon Sport and Rec Club, with a very healthy rollup of 32 members and guests.  We were treated to a very interesting presentation by Scott Munro, son of Trevor and Penny Munro (and nephew of our own Neil and Claire Munro).  Scott works for GeoPacific Resources, a mining company looking to develop gold and copper resources in Cambodia.  Scott spent a bit of time describing the geography and long history of Cambodia, including the devastation caused by the Khmer Rouge and the carpet bombing by the US during the Vietnam war.  Although the country is capable of producing a wide variety of horticultural crops and lots of rice, the standard of living is quite low (the GDP per capita is US$740 vs US$37,500 in Australia).  While in Cambodia, Scott got to know the inhabitats of the small village of Chhaeb, and learned of the need for basic amenities lacking at the local school (e.g. running water, electricity, toilet facilities, etc.). [When this plight was brought to the attention of our club earlier this year, we were moved to donate funds to help provide these amenities and to apply for a district grant to leverage our funds further.  We were successful in our application for district funds, and we were able to provide funds in the amount of $3,000 to the village to construct a toilet block.]

Scott, his wife, Kate, and their three kids visited Cambodia earlier this and had a life-changing experience getting to know the residents of Chhaeb and Cambodia.  The whole family joined us on Monday as Scott showed us great photos of the local terrain, villages and residents of northern Cambodia. Paul thanked Scott and presented him with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  Well done, Scott!

Our meeting concluded with a raffle; prizes were won by Alexander Thompson and Wayne Lewis.

 

IFCR – WTF?

What on earth is IFCR? You might take many guesses and still not get it right–it stands for the International Fellowship of Cricketing Rotarians. The IFCR is having its biannual festival in Wagga Wagga from 16-21 October.  If you’re interested in learning more or participating in the event, please visit their website here.

 

On the lighter side

What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away? (answer somewhere below)

 

The puzzler

Here’s a visual puzzle for you:

Answer to last puzzler: There were 2,753 individuals going to St Ives.

 

Diary Reminders

Thursday, July 14: Bingo [Neil (Capt), John N, Don and Ian D] 

Friday, July 15th: Firewood working bee (Wayne, Dick and Trevor)

Saturday, July 16th: Street Raffle in Coolamon
6:00-8:00   – Daryl and Rod
8:00-10:00 – Paul and John G
10:00-12:00 – Wayne and Trevor

Monday, July 18th: Club Assembly

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Answer to riddle: charcoal!

Changeover 2016

Welcome to the new Rotary year!  The Rotary Club of Coolamon celebrated its 45th changeover on Monday night in the company of local dignitaries, visiting Rotarians, partners and guests.  Along with a changing of the guard, the task of composing the bulletin has changed hands as well.  I hope to keep up the high standard that John Glassford has maintained for many years.  John has stepped down from this role because of the duties associated with preparing for a much bigger role, that of District Governor of District 9700, which John will assume in 2018-19.  I know my fellow Rotarians join me in wishing John well in this venture and will assist in whatever ways we can.

As usual, the changeover was a lively affair with a healthy rollup.  Approximately 90 people were in attendance and were entertained by Caleb Richards and Ryan Farrell.  The formal proceedings, emceed by Ian Jennings, began with a welcome by Coolamon mayor John Seymour and a welcome to country by Auntie Gail Clark, a Wiradjuri elder and Coolamon resident.  A number of toasts and responses ensued, followed by an excellent four-course meal cooked up by Gilbert and Diane in the Chinese restaurant at the Coolamon Sport and Rec Club.  Outgoing president Wayne Lewis  then had his moment of glory, describing the highlights of the past year and listing the recipients of the $25,000+ in charitable donations made by the club in that time.  PDG John Egan was on hand to assist Wayne in presenting a PHF to yours truly, a humbling and personally gratifying occasion. Wayne and PDG John then inducted our president for 2016-17, Don Dyce.  After introducing the new board, newly minted President Don thanked the attendees for their participation and wished them a safe drive home.   More fellowship followed, accompanied by coffee, tea and assorted slices baked by Rotarian partners.  The first raffle prize, which consisted of a basket of locally produced goodies, was won by Bob Toose of Junee Rotary.  Second prize was a hamper of licorice items from Junee Licorice & Chocolate, and third prize was a gift basket of garlic items from Ganmain Garlic (second and third prizes were won by Narranderans Anne Dunn and Marilyn Manning).  All in all, it was a memorable evening that spawned new friendships and rekindled old ones.  We look forward to a productive and enjoyable Rotary new year.

•  Paul Weston, ed.

 

July is changeover month!

Coolamon is not the only place where Rotary changeover occurred; changeovers were taking place throughout the world.  Each month has a theme in the Rotary calendar, except for July, which is changeover month.  District 9700 had its changeover last weekend, and was attended by our own John and Susan Glassford as evidenced by the photo below.  Happy New Year!

 

 

On the lighter side

 

A politician and two of his cronies, Bill and John, were fishing when their boat capsized. Bill and John started to panic because they’d seen sharks in the area.

“No worries, mates,” said the politician and he started to swim towards the island to get help.

As he swam, John spotted the dorsal fins of two great white sharks heading straight toward the politician. Before he could yell a warning, the politician took hold of their fins and the sharks escorted him safely to shore.

When the politician returned with help, John asked him how he had managed such an amazing feat. The politician answered, “Professional courtesy.”

 

Puzzler

Most of us are familiar with the nursery rhyme/riddle about the person travelling to St. Ives:

“As I was going to St. Ives,

I met a man with seven wives.

Each wife had seven sacks,

each sack had seven cats,

and each cat had seven kits.”

In a twist on the original rhyme, assume that the man and the seven wives were in fact travelling in the same direction as the narrator of the rhyme.  How many individuals (people, cats and kits) were in fact travelling to St. Ives?

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, July 4th: President Don Dyce’s FIRST Meeting of 2016-2017

Thursday, July 14: Bingo [Neil Munro (Capt), John Nulty, Don Dyce and Ian Durham] 

Saturday, July 17th: Street Raffle in Coolamon

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Coolamon Rotary News Bulletin #43

MEETING MONDAY MAY 30, 2016

We had another good rollup on Monday, which included 20 members and 3 guests.  One of the guests was Shane Bullock, Coolamon resident and manager of Jindalee Feedlot (located near Stockinbingal).  For those that don’t remember, Shane was instrumental in providing the processed cattle byproduct that we sold as “Moo Poo” last year.  Shane explained how the feedlot fits in with the beef production system run by Teys (they also have large feedlots in Condamine, Queensland and Charlton, Victoria).   Thousands of cattle pass through the feedlot each year, ending up in grocery stores throughout Australia and other countries as well.  It was amazing to hear the high-tech approach taken in managing the weight-gain of the cattle, and the precision in managing the inputs and monitoring the results.  Dave McKinley thanked Shane for his very informative talk, and presented him with a kangaroo coin pouch as a token of appreciation.  In addition, Dave presented certificates of appreciation to Shane, Dan Fisher (manager of Delta Ag who provided bags for packaging the Moo Poo last year) and Wayne and Helen Lewis of Lewis Transport (which transported the manure last year from Jindalee to Coolamon).  Shane has agreed to provide product for our fund-raiser again this year.  Thanks for your contribution, Shane!  Pictured below is Dave giving thanks to our guest speaker (left) and presenting certificates of appreciation to Dan Fisher and Wayne & Helen Lewis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Myffy Collette gave an update on the Coolamon Newspaper project, which is proceeding apace.  The shire is very supportive of the project and has offered the services of Jess Inch, a shire employee who works at the library, to assist wherever possible with the project.  Myffy announced that we’re on track to have our first issue ready for distribution in August.

 

Mark Reardon and Ted Hutcheon provided a rundown on the Red Shield Appeal that our club collected for over the weekend.  Between the footy games in Coolamon and Gainmain and Foodworks on Saturday and Sunday, we raised close to $1800 for the Salvos.  Thanks to all who assisted (Dick, Trevor, Wayne, Daryl, Ian J, Steve, Myffy, Bern, Garth) and especially to Mark for organising the event and Ted, who went above and beyond (manning the table at Foodworks both days and the footy afterwards on Saturday).  Pictured below are Ted & Daryl; Trevor & Wayne; Garth, Dick & Mark; and Steve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our intrepid globetrotter and champion of endangered animals, John Glassford, is attending the RI convention in Seoul, South Korea and has sent some photos of the sights.  John will be providing a full report on his return.  Below are a few random pics from the convention.

 

 

 

Diary Reminders

Monday, June 6th – Club Assembly (Coolamon Sport & Rec)

Wednesday, June 8th – Last Board Meeting for 2015-2016 preceded by a Newspaper committee meeting (7 pm, Coolamon Sport & Rec – no meal)

Thursday, June 9th – BINGO: Henk Hulsman (Capt), Trevor Parkes, Ted Hutcheon, Dick Jennings.

Saturday, June 25th – D9700 Changeover in Orange, Hotel Conobolas.

*Monday June 27th Changeover Dinner at Coolamon. 

*Partners and Guests Night.

Apologies for Monday meetings call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12.00 pm.