Paul

Week of 14 November

This week’s meeting featured a guest speaker from Kurrajong-Waratah.  For those of you not familiar with this important support organisation, they provide “support, training and opportunities to people with an intellectual disability/development delay and their families/carers” through targeted services.  Tracey Collins described some of the vital services that Kurrajong-Waratah provides to the local community.  Tracey stressed the importance of developing relationships with their clientele in order to build trust and allow Kurrajong-Waratah to better meet their needs.  Daryl Breust thanked Tracey for a very enthusiastic and informative presentation, and presented her with to token change pouch as thanks.  The meeting concluded with an entertaining fine session led by Garth and a raffle, which was won by Don Dyce.

 

Beach Boys and Temptations coming to Wagga Wagga???!!!

Yes, it’s true!  The Beach Boys, who made surf rock famous and originated classics such as “Surfin’ USA”, “Good vibrations” and “Kokomo”, will be performing at McDonald’s Park in Wagga on Saturday, 11 Feb, 2017.  The band will include founding member Mike Love and early replacement member Bruce Johnston.  If that weren’t enough, the Temptations will be performing on the night at the same venue.  The Temps, part of the Motown Sound (based out of Detroit), were known for their soulful originals such as “My Girl” and “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”.  Tickets are $89.  If interested in accompanying a group of Coolamon Rotarians to the show, let Henk know soon so arrangements can be made for ticket purchase and transport.

 

The Lighter Side

Memorable quotes

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Edgar Bergen

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.  – Steven Wright

He who laughs last didn’t get it. – Helen Giangregorio

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that’s even more human. – Anonymous

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you’re with someone you’re not supposed to be seen with. – Anonymous

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. – Dave Barry

Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business. – Dave Barry

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.  – Jerry Garcia

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – Alison Boulter

 

The puzzler

Below are six glasses. Three of these glasses contain orange juice. Moving only ONE glass, can you arrange the glasses such that those containing the orange juice are together?

Answer to last week’s Puzzler:

The country name hidden in the sentence was Sweden.

 

Diary

Monday, 21 November: Club assembly.  Special focus on the future of the Sport & Rec Club.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 Week of 7 November

This week’s highlight was our AGM.  The following directors were elected to serve on the board during President-elect Paul Weston’s year: Club administration, Don Dyce; Foundation, Alex Thompson; Membership, Wayne Lewis; Public Relations, Myffy Collette; Service Projects, Daryl Breust; Vocational Service, Ian Jennings. Henk Hulsman will continue on as Treasurer, and John Bond as secretary.  President-elect for 2018-2019 is Daryl Breust.  Congratulations to all.  Onward and upward!

 

Calling all aprons!

Most of our Rotary aprons have disappeared from the food van.  If you know the whereabouts of any of them, their confidential return would be appreciated.

 

 

 

 

Uncertainty about the future of the Sport & Rec Club

Those of you that attended the extraordinary meeting of the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club this past Sunday would know that the club is in a precarious financial position, in part at least because of possible fraud (the matter is under investigation by the police).  Regardless of the cause, the Sport & Rec Club is facing a very large debt that must be resolved in the near future if they are to remain viable.  We will be discussing what role our club should play, if any, to assist with the financial bailout required to keep the Sport & Rec club afloat at our next club assembly, which is scheduled for 21 November.  Please be there to make your opinion known!

 

Shakeup in the land of Uncle Sam

I can’t let this week go by without commenting on the results of the presidential election in the US, which was held this past Tuesday (which you couldn’t have missed unless you’ve been living under a rock or were able to totally avoid mass media).  The result was predicted by exactly no one, and is bound to have profound impacts on the world, much less the U S of A.  Let’s just hope that reason prevails, and that smart people are enlisted to help in the day-to-day running of the country. Those that wanted a change certainly got one, but I’m not sure this change is for the better!  The violent street protests against the election result are a bit of a worry, but hopefully not a sign of things to come.  Only time will tell.

 

On the lighter side

The Puzzler

What country name is hidden in the following sentence?

As defendants, we deny all involvement in the unscrupulous dealings which have come to light in the recent government investigation.

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The two squares were exactly the same shade of grey.  The optical illusion arises from the neighbouring squares, which trick the eye into thinking that the one surrounded by white squares is darker than the one surrounded by dark squares.  You can prove this by using a colour picker in an image editor such as Photoshop, or looking at the squares while masking out the surrounding squares.  Below is visual proof (the two grey stripes are uniform in colour matching that of the two squares in question).

Diary

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 21 November: Club assembly.  Special focus on the future of the Sport & Rec Club.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Date subject to change pending progress of the harvest.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 Week of 1 November

It was a slow week in Coolamon, so this week’s bulletin will be a bit brief.  Our weekly meeting was a club assembly, so no guest speaker this week.  The major topic of consideration this week is identifying candidates for the board and president-elect for next Rotary year.  Our AGM is on Monday, so if you’re interested in serving on the board, please make your interest known to President Don or one of the board members.

 

Working bees this Saturday

The last Moo Poo working bee will be on Saturday morning at Ted Hutcheon’s place starting at 8:00.  In addition, the backyard at the Parkes residence is getting a bit overgrown, so several club members will be heading over on Saturday arvo after the Moo Poo working bee with whipper snippers and other trimmers in hand to get things under control (mowers will not be useful because the vegetation is too overgrown).  Feel free to come to one or both of these important club activities.

 

Wanna bowl?

The Coolamon Sport & Rec Club will once again be hosting pre-Christmas business house  bowls again in November and December.  We had enough interest last year to field two Rotary teams; if you’re interested, let Henk know and he’ll get us sorted.  Registration is $20 per team, and there’s a charge of $20 per week divided by the team members.  There are prizes on offer each week for the top scoring teams, and a very nice prize (typically a ham) for each member of the top-scoring team at the end of the comp.

 

On the lighter side

The Puzzler

This week’s puzzler is an optical one.  Have a good look at the following drawing:

Which of the squares labelled “A” and “B” is darker?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The words that link each pair of words in order: 1 – key, 2 – deck, 3 – boot, 4 – pupil, 5 – case, 6 – bank.

 

Diary

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 24 October

This week’s meeting was a special one featuring a visit from Butch and Lynn Leibenberg from Hout Bay, South Africa.  Butch is a member of the Rotary Club of Hout Bay, our sister club, and was instrumental in getting Coolamon House up and running.  Coolamon House, for those that don’t know, is a clinic in Hout Bay that ministers to the needs of HIV/AIDS victims in South Africa, especially women with young children.  Butch gave a most interesting presentation describing the political/economic situation in South Africa and the current status of HIV/AIDS in that country.  The situation is rather grim, but the one bit of good news is that the incidence of AIDS in South Africa has remained level over the past few years, unlike other countries in Africa where the disease continues to grow.  Visiting Rotarian and PDG Fred Lonergan thanked Butch and Lynn for gracing our club with their presence, and thanked Butch for his presentation with a kangaroo-hide coin pouch.  The evening concluded with a special presentation of a “custom-made hard-hat” (read ice-cream container) for John Glassford, who suffered a nasty cut to the head on a recent construction project when an errant 4 by 2 landed on his noggin.

 

Moo Poo sales

Sales of Moo Poo have been down this year, no doubt because of the lack of good weather for getting out in the garden.  Things are turning around as spring advances, so sales should be brisk on Saturday as bargain-hunters make their way through the streets of Coolamon as they go from garage sale to garage sale during Coolamon’s Whole Town Garage Sale.  Rostered on to assist with sales at Delta Ag are Wayne, Steve, Dary, and Ian J from 8:00-10:00 and Ted and Bondy from 10:00-12:00.  We can use some additional help from 10:00-12:00, so feel free to stop by and help the boys on the later shift.

 

Hospital Fête

Ian Durham, Daryl Breust, Henk Hulsman and Don Dyce man the chocolate wheel at the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête, which was held in Lions Park on Saturday, 22 October.  The cool weather and brisk winds made for low attendance on the day, but a fair sum was still raised to help the hospital (final numbers are not available as yet).  Also helping on the day were John Bond, John Nulty, and Paul Weston.

 

On the lighter side

Subject: Tech support

A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. This young woman is no different from the rest of us, both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She is simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?

She sent an email to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, NRL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?

Signed,  Desperate

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

 

The Puzzler

Missing connections

The task for this week’s puzzler is to come up with a word that connects the two words in each pair listed below.  There’s one word that is strongly associated with both words in each pair, but you might come up with another.  Answers will appear next week.

1. LOCK — PIANO

2. SHIP — CARD

3. COWBOY — CAR

4. SCHOOL — EYE

5. PILLOW — COURT

6. RIVER — MONEY

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The light would take 200 years to travel to earth and back from a planet located 100 light years away.

 

Diary

Friday, 28 October: Capture Coolamon Shire Photo Contest Opening Night.  Up To Date Store from 6:30 pm.

Saturday, 29 October: Whole of Town Garage Sale (Coolamon). Moo Poo sales at Delta Ag, 8:00 am – 12:00 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 17 October

This week’s meeting was a fellowship gathering featuring a guest speaker. Several club members served barbecued steaks and salads those in attendance.  Special thanks go to Heather McKinley, who made the salads, and Daryl Breust, who managed to cook a large quantity of steaks to perfection.  Henk Hulsman and Dave McKinley were also instrumental in pulling off this self-catered event.

After our meal, we were treated to a spellbinding talk by Mel Mayer, a Coolamon resident who recounted his experiences with the radio and recording industry in Australia.  Most people know Mel for his activities in providing the sound system and music at local events, but most are probably unaware of his fascinating story.  Mel started out as a sound effects man with one of the first radio studios to produce soap operas (“soapies”) when these first came on the scene in Australia.   Mel described some of the tricks of the trade, and the little details that made these programs so enchanting.  In addition to these programs, Mel was involved with the production of heaps of advertisements, many of which were familiar to older members of the audience (the most famous of which was an advert for Aeroplane Jelly).  Mel got to rub elbows with many well-known artists over the years, notably singers such as Frankie Lane and Mitch Miller.  Mel also provided insights into the evolution of recording media over the decades, ranging from wax cylinders through 45 and LP records, 8-track and cassette tapes, ending with mini-discs and compact discs.  Mel still works three days per week compiling recordings for SONY after 50 years in the business.  Mel entertained us for well over an hour and could have gone on much longer except the club needed to shut down!  John Nulty thanked Mel for a most interesting presentation, presenting him with a coin pouch as a token of appreciation. It was an evening to remember.

 

Hospital Fête this Saturday

Members are reminded that the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital Fête will be happening from 10:00-2:00 in Lions Park in Coolamon.  A number of members are rostered on from 9:00 to help set up; this includes Don, Dave, John B, Alex, Henk and Paul.   Don, Dave, Henk and Paul will continue on from 10:00-11:30, and Daryl and Ian D are rostered on from 11:30-2:00.  We’re a bit light for the last shift, so please put up your hand to help!

 

On the lighter side

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

 

The Puzzler

OK, we need an easy puzzler this week because the last few have proved to be very challenging.  Here goes: How long does it take for light to travel to the earth and back from a planet that is located 100 light years away?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The bus is travelling to the right.  We know this because the door, which is on the left side of buses in Australia, is not visible.  Therefore, we must be looking at the right (driver’s) side of the bus, which means the bus must be travelling from left to right.  Simples!

 

Diary

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Lions Park (Coolamon), 10:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Monday, 24 October: Regular meeting* and visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Monday, 14 November: Regular meeting*.  Guest speaker: Rep from Kurrajong-Warratah Recycling.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

Monday, 28 November: Bowls Night in lieu of regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 10 December: Christmas Party.  Details to come.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

 

Meeting of 10 October

This week’s regular meeting featured a talk by guest speaker John Piltz on the drug problem in Coolamon and what’s being done about it.  John is a Coolamon resident and has been president of the youth footy program in town for many years, and is one of the founding members of the Coolamon Community Drug Action Team (CDAT).  CDATs have been organised in numerous towns throughout the state to battle the problem of drug abuse.  Coolamon CDAT was established several years ago in response to emerging problems with drug abuse among younger members of the community.  As John explained, the members of Coolamon CDAT are not experts on drug abuse, but facilitate the dissemination of information on the problem and look for solutions to the problem.  They receive an annual modest contribution from the state government to fund their programs, which they leverage to get more “bang from their buck.”  They have a number of interesting programs planned for the coming year, and it certainly seems like a group that Rotary needs to support.  Neil thanked John for his presentation and the excellent work that CDAT is doing in the community and presented him with a kangaroo-hide change pouch in appreciation.

The evening concluded with a thanks to the journalism club and their advisor, Beth Batcheldor, for their great job on the newspaper, a quick game of heads and tails (which was won by John G) and an entertaining fine session led by Sargent-at-Arms Ted.  Pictured below are Myffy and Bernie (at left and third from left) with journalism club members Maddie, Beth (advisor), Minnie and Sophia.  The aspiring journalists were curious to see how a Rotary meeting was run, so it was great to welcome them to our meeting.

Trivia night benefit for Owen Hawthorn and family

Nearly 400 residents of the shire packed into St Michael’s hall on Friday night to participate in a trivia night fundraiser for Owen Hawthorn and his family following the loss of his wife, Narelle, to terminal illness.  The event had been planned while Narelle was still alive, but sadly, she passed away early last week.  Community members showed support by participating in a trivia competition which saw both Coolamon Rotary tables in the thick of it, but in the end, the table led by Wayne Lewis won the competition.  A silent auction went on through the evening, and a live auction followed the trivia, which had offerings from the mundane to the remarkable.  Coolamonites were extremely generous on the night, with tens of thousands of dollars raised for the cause.  It was heartwarming to see the heartfelt support and generosity of residents of the shire toward a local family in need, and it was great to see our club play a part in it.

 

On the lighter side

Definition of European Heaven: German engineering, French cuisine and British humour.

Definition of European Hell: French engineering, German humour and British “cuisine”.
The Puzzler

Here’s one you may have seen, but we need an easy one after last week’s puzzler which left many readers baffled.  Which way is the bus below travelling?  96% of first-graders in Australia got it right!

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The three teenagers with Chris are his sisters!

 

Diary

Saturday, 15 October: Moo Poo working bee (rain or shine!). Ted’s place, 8:00 am.

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Monday, 17 October: Regular meeting.  Guest speaker: Mel Mayer.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 October: Board meeting.  Dyce/Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Monday, 24 October: Regular meeting* and visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 31 October: Club assembly.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 10 November: Bingo. Neil (Captain), Daryl, John N, Leslie.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 26 September

In lieu of our weekly meeting, we visited the E H Graham Centre field site to walk through Leslie Weston’s crop and weed plots.   Coolamon Rotarians making the tour were Don Dyce, John Bond, John Glassford (and partner Susan) and Paul Weston.  The plots were in fantastic shape because of the abundant winter rain and the fastidious groundskeeping by Leslie’s field staff.  We saw plots that demonstrated the impact of varieties of legumes, canola and wheat on weed growth.  This differences were quite striking and will provide useful information for growers looking to limit growth of weeds with reduced herbicide usage.  Approximately 30 visitors were on hand to view the plots and learn about alternative cultural practices that require lower inputs of herbicide.  After the tour, we retired to the NaLSH (National Life Sciences Hub) at the CSU campus, where we saw some of the laboratory facilities that Leslie uses in conducting her lab-based research and were treated to some fabulous cheese and sausage nibblies.  It was a nice evening and a rare opportunity to see a different sort of working place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At top, serious Rotarians John G, John B and Don D ponder the deeper meaning of life.  The middle pic above shows the range of visitors to the twilight tour, while Leslie (at bottom) explains what visitors are meant to see.

 

Don’t forget Gears and Beers!

Gears and Beers will be going off on Sunday, so all club members are reminded to show up at their designated posts on Sunday morning.  Bring your hi-vis vest if you’ve got one, and don’t forget to set your clocks ahead one hour on Sunday morning!

On the lighter side

The vision of youth

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.  As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’

The Puzzler

A man who lives on the tenth floor of an apartment building takes the lift down to the first floor every morning and goes to work. In the evening, when he returns, he goes to his floor directly if it is a rainy day or if there are other people in the lift. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment.  Can you explain why?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The population will fill the dish at 12:44 because the population doubles every minute; at 12:43 the dish was half full, so it will be full one minute later.  The trick to this one is to disregard the past history of the dish and focus on the future!

 

Diary

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Contact Don Dyce if you’re not sure where/when you’re meant to be posted.

Monday, 3 October: No meeting (public holiday).

Friday, 7 October: Trivia Night benefit for Owen & Narelle Hawthorn.  St. Michael’s School.  Watch for details.

Monday, 10 October: Regular meeting*.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.  Guest speaker: John Piltz (topic: the local drug problem).

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Monday, 17 October: Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 October: Board meeting.  Dyce/Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Monday, 24 October: Visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

---

*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 19 September

The focus of this meeting was John Glassford’s presentation that will be made to clubs throughout the district as John prepares for his year as DG in 2018-19.  John presented some sobering statistics on the state of several endangered species, mainly white rhino, elephants and orangutans.  The number of white rhino and elephants continue to dwindle because of poachers who kill the animals solely for their horns or tusks, respectively.  The situation with orangutans was similarly grim, but primarily because of removal of habitat as oil palms plantations dominate the landscape.  On a brighter note, the number of mountain gorillas has increased in recent years, mainly because the locals have learned that they can make more money from tourists than from ashtrays made from gorilla feet.  RAGES, the Rotary Action Group for Endangered Species, co-founded by John, is attempting to increase awareness of the threat to endangered species and to help lessen the problem.

The rest of John’s presentation was taken up with a survey assessing members’ knowledge of Rotary District 9700 and their use of D9700 electronic resources.  The meeting concluded with a meat tray raffle, which was won by Helen Lewis.

[For more information on RAGES, have a look at the RAGES facebook page.]

 

Opening of Kindra Bike & Walking Track

The Kindra Bike & Walking Track was officially opened by Mayor John Seymour on Saturday, 17 September.  The track is an initiative of Coolamon Rotary, spearheaded by Ian Jennings and financially assisted by a district grant from D9700.  The track winds through woodland in the Kindra National Forest, and has been designed to have minimal impact on the native flora and fauna.  The Coolamon Shire has been supportive of the project and has contributed in-kind support that has helped make the dream a reality.  Attendees of the opening ceremony were welcomed by Aunty Gail Clark, and heard brief speeches by Ian Jennings, John Seymour, and club president Don Dyce.  A ribbon cutting ceremony was followed by a sausage sizzle hosted by Coolamon Rotary, ably assisted by Henk Hulsman, Dick Jennings, Daryl Breust, and Don Dyce.

 

On the lighter side

Outsmarted

A farmer was frustrated with people stealing watermelons from his melon patch, so he came up with a clever deterrent.  He simply placed a sign facing the road that read “One of these melons has been poisoned.” His ploy worked well until one day, when he saw that someone had added at the bottom of the sign “Now there are two.”

 

The Puzzler

A Petri dish has a healthy colony of bacteria. Once a minute, every bacterium divides into two. The colony started as a single cell at noon. At exactly 12:43 (43 minutes later) the Petri dish was half full.  At what time will the dish be full?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: Turn two of the switches on, and then turn one off after several minutes.  Then go up to the attic.  The lamp that is lit is obviously wired to the switch that you left on, and the lamp that is off and cool to the touch is wired to the switch that had been left off.  The lamp that is off but warm to the touch is wired to the switch that was turned on and then off before you left for the attic!

 

Diary

Saturday, 24 September: Moo Poo working bee.  Postponed because of excessive recent rain.

Sunday, 25 September: Visit from Griffith Avanti.  11:00 tour of Coolamon Cheese followed by visits to local attractions and 1:00 BBQ at Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence (6 Loughnan Street, Coolamon).

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Plot Twilight Tour (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Grahame Centre Field Site, cnr Wagga Road & Prices Road, 5-7 pm.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Monday, 3 October: No meeting (public holiday).

Friday, 7 October: Trivia Night benefit for Owen & Narelle Hawthorn.  St. Michael’s School.  Watch for details.

Monday, 10 October: Regular meeting*.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.  Guest speaker: John Piltz (topic: the local drug problem).

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Monday, 17 October: Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 October: Board meeting.  Dyce/Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Monday, 24 October: Visit from Butch Liebenberg and partner from Hout Bay Rotary, South Africa.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 12 September

This week’s meeting was a regular one with some special guests.  We had a visit from District 9700 DG Michael Milston and his partner, Ann Dib.  Also gracing our club with his presence on the night was Caleb Smith, leader of the Salvation Army in Temora.  We presented Caleb with a cheque for $1800, which was raised during the Red Shield Appeal in Ganmain and Coolamon in May of this year.

DG Michael gave an stimulating talk on his vision for the coming year, and encouraged the audience to give serious thought to the question “What is Rotary?”  Three of our newer members, Myffy Collette, Wayne Lewis and Dave McKinley, had been asked in advance to prepare a response to the question, and it was very interesting to hear their three very different responses.  Ann followed Micheal at the podium and gave an interesting and fact-filled presentation on the status of the efforts of Rotarians and partner groups to eradicate polio from the planet.  It was exciting to see that the number of locations and new cases has continued to dwindle, with Nigeria and Pakistan the only countries that have not yet eradicated polio.  We really ARE getting close to the goal of eradication, and it was timely that we were able to announce that the board had voted to donate $2,000 to Polio Plus at our last board meeting.

 

 

 

 

The presentations were followed by our weekly raffle (which was won by Ted) and fellowship that lingered into the evening.  It was a memorable event and a great way to get to know the new DG and his lovely partner.

Bingo jackpot finally goes off!

A modest crowd of 21 dedicated bingo players (and a few guest players) were on hand  Thursday of last week  to try their had at bingo.  Most had their eyes on the jackpot prize, which had risen to $180, an all-time high for our club bingo.  The jackpot was won by a visiting player from Melbourne, who was in town to assist her mother with a recent health problem. Working on the night were Rod Jarrett, Don Dyce and Paul Weston. The jackpot will reset next month, but feel free to play at the next bingo  (on 13 October) or any second Thursday (except during January).

Bike Track Opening this Saturday

At 10:00 am this Saturday, the Kindra Bike and Walking Track will officially open.  Local dignitaries will be on hand to welcome biking and walking aficionados and the general public  to the track, which is a project of the Rotary Club of Coolamon.  The club appreciates the financial assistance of District 9700, which provided a matching grant to make the project possible.  We’ll have the food van on site to serve sausage sandwiches and drinks to attendees, so those that are rostered on (Daryl, Dave, Henk and John B) are reminded to show up at 9:30 to fire up the barbie.

 

Coolamon Cheese Ready for Prime Time!

Also opening on Saturday is the cheese factory.  They’ll be open from 10:00 – 5:00, so wander over after taking in a snag or two at the bike track.  From all reports, the factory and eatery is something to behold, and will likely be a key attraction for tourists to the area.

 

On the lighter side

You’d better watch out…
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.  The nun made a note and posted  on the apple tray:

‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

The Puzzler
There are three switches downstairs. Each corresponds to one of the three light bulbs in the attic. You can turn the switches on and off and leave them in any position.
How would you identify which switch corresponds to which light bulb if you are only allowed one trip to the attic?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: The name of the  fourth child was Mary, of course!

 

Diary

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening. 10 am.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 19 September: Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport and Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.  Speaker: John Glassford on his plans for his year as DG (2018-2019).

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Plot Twilight Tour (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Grahame Centre Field Site, cnr Wagga Road & Prices Road, 5-7 pm.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Monday, 3 October: No meeting (public holiday).

Monday, 10 October: Regular meeting*.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.  Guest speaker: John Piltz (topic: the local drug problem).

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Monday, 17 October: Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday, 19 October: Board meeting.  Dyce/Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Monday, 7 November: AGM.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club. 6:30 for 7 pm.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

25-26 Feb, 2017: Presidents-Elect Training (Paul Weston), Young.

17-19 March, 2017: District 9700 Conference, Orange.

30 April, 2017: District 9700 Assembly (All Directors), Young.

10-14 June, 2017: Rotary International Convention, Atlanta, GA, USA.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.

Meeting of 5 September

This week’s meeting was a club assembly.  Not much exciting to report, but it was a productive meeting nonetheless.  A fair bit of time was spent discussing upcoming events:

Saturday, 10 September – Moo Poo Working Bee (Ted Hutcheon’s residence, 8 am)
Because of the rain last weekend, help will be required this weekend to bag more Moo Poo.  Ring Wayne or Ted to confirm.

Saturday, 10 September – Youth Footy & Netball Awards Night (Sport & Rec Club)
The club will be cooking and serving food to the participants and their parents from 4:30  Rostered on from 4:30-6:30 are Paul, Don, Steve, Dick, Ted, Garth, Neil; and from 6:30-8:30 are John G, Daryl, Alex, Wayne, and Ted.

Monday, 12 September – Regular meeting (Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm)
The DG will be visiting on the night, so all members are encouraged to attend if possible.  As usual, apologies to Ian J by Friday.

Wednesday, 14 September – Board meeting (Don Dyce/Sally Farmer residence, 7 pm)

Saturday, 17 September – Opening of the Kindra Forest Bike & Walking Track (10 am)

Saturday, 17 September – Grand opening of the Coolamon Cheese Factory

An entertaining fine session was led by Ted, and the evening closed with a  raffle, which was won by Mark Reardon.

Don’t forget to vote in the shire election this Saturday!

CORRECTION: There will be no voting held on Saturday as there are exactly nine candidates for the nine vacancies on the council. Sorry for the misinformation!

 

On the lighter side

Newfangled maths

Teacher: “Johnny, If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”

Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

 

The Puzzler

Mary’s mum has four children.
The first child is called April.
The second May.
The third June.
What do you think she named the fourth child?

Answer to last week’s puzzler: Regardless of the outcome of previous tosses of a coin, the chance of getting a head on any toss of an unbiased coin is 50%.

 

Diary

Thursday, 8 September: Bingo. Allawah Lodge, 6:45 for 7 pm. Roster: Paul Weston (Capt), Ivan Furner, Ted Hutcheon, Garth Perkin.

Saturday, 10 September: Youth Sports Awards Night. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 5:00-8:00 pm (club members will be manning the BBQ).

Monday, 12 September: Regular meeting and visit by DG Michael Millston. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club.

Wednesday, 14 September: Board meeting.  Don Dyce & Sally Farmer residence. 7 pm.

Saturday, 17 September: Kindra Forest Multipurpose Trail Opening. 10 am.

Saturday, 17 September: Coolamon Cheese Factory Grand Opening.

Monday, 26 September: CSU Field Plot Twilight Tour (in lieu of weekly meeting).  Grahame Centre Field Site, cnr Wagga Road & Prices Road, 5-7 pm.

Sunday, 2 October: Gears & Beers. Stay tuned for details!

Sunday, 16 October: President’s Forum and D9700 AGM, Young.

Saturday, 22 October: Hospital Fete. Details to come.

Saturday, 26 November: Street Raffle.

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*Partners and Guests Night

Apologies for Monday meetings: call Ian Jennings on 0428 492 157  BY FRIDAY 12:00 pm.