Week of 22nd February

A FULL special edition of our 50th Celebrations will be compiled and sent at the end of the week.

Paul Weston has had a heart procedure done this week and hence our apologies for the late edition for this past week.

Even though Paul had been in ICU on the afternoon of our birthday party Paul was present last night and looking very well indeed.  Thanks Paul.

THE MUNRO’S CLEARING SALE

First of all our sincere thanks to the Munro family for choosing our Rotary Club to handle the catering for the day.

Thank you to the Munro Family!

What a day!  All went to plan and all went very well.  There were over 200 registrations and the event was very well organised by the agents, Riverina Livestock Agents, who did a great job.   The main event for our club was run by the catering committee, Chaired by Dick Jennings, all of whom did a superb job.

However there were many facets to this day starting with the cleaning of our caravan, delivery of the caravan to Neil’s farm, ordering of supplies and so on.  The effort put in by all of our volunteers is to be highly commended and there are too many to mention here.  It was a team effort all round, our Rotarians and partners who turned up on the day are those to whom we owe the thanks in volunteering for working before, after and on the day.

HOWEVER we need to make special mention of the work done by Marie Jennings organising the sandwiches made by many many of our partners and our ladies.  The sandwiches were well received and there were plenty of them.  I do not know the names of all who made them, but to all of you Rotarians and partners a HUGE thank you.

It is not over yet as we need help to clean the Rotary shed and Caravan before the opening by Steph Cooke at 6.00 pm on Monday.  Please contact Daryl Breust for further details.

Here are some photos of the day; click on the thumbnail for a larger view:

REMINDERS

1. 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY MONDAY MARCH 1st, 6.30 for 7.00 pm

FULLY BOOKED 125 ATTENDING!

Our Deputy Prime Minister was coming up and until 10am Friday morning, Michael has had a ministerial meeting called for Monday in Canberra. Michael has sent his sincere apologies and wishes us well for the next 50 years.

We have filled his two vacant spots for Monday night.  The programme has been printed by John Bond, and we will not change it now!

Reminder that Steph Cooke, our State member, will be officially opening the Rotary Shed at 6.00 pm at the showgrounds. All members are urged to attend please.

Set up for Monday is now 1.00 pm at the Sports Club as there is a wake at 3.00 pm.  We need some balloons to be filled with air!  We have the loan of a pump so any extra hands very welcome!

The following members volunteered: Henk, Ted, Albert, Don, Anne, Grahame and JG.

Honour board updated thanks to Grahame Miles:

2. POLIO PLUS MOVIE AFTERNOON

SUNDAY MARCH 7th – IN AID OF POLIO PLUS – 2.00 pm at the Wagga Wagga Forum Cinema

‘Nomadland’ Takes Top Prizes at Toronto Critics’ Awards

“Nomadland” won best picture, best director for Chloé Zhao and best actress for Frances McDormand at the 24th annual Toronto Film Critics’ Awards (TFCA).

You can see the trailer here:

Nomadland Trailer

Following the economic collapse of a company town in rural Nevada, Fern (Frances McDormand) packs her van and sets off on the road exploring a life outside of conventional society as a modern-day nomad. The third feature film from director Chloé Zhao, NOMADLAND features real nomads Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells as Fern’s mentors and comrades in her exploration through the vast landscape of the American West. February 2021.

DIARY

Monday 1st March – COOLAMON ROTARY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.  Please have your attendance in by Monday 22nd February.

Cost $25 per head catering by Gilbert and Di.  Dress code: women smart casual and men jackets and ties.  Please book with Ian Jennings or John Glassford bookings close on Monday 22nd February.

Sunday March 7th – Polio Plus Movie Afternoon in Wagga Wagga Forum Cinema to see the pre-release of “Nomadland’.  Details in this bulletin.

Monday 22nd March – Club Assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

MY DADDY SLEEPS NAKED

“Late again!” the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Robbie.

“It ain’t my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this ‘un on my Daddy.The reason I’m three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!”

Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Robbie what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Robbie and trouble were old friends but he always told the truth.

“You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, “That fox is back again… I’m a gonna git him!”

“Stay back,” Daddy whispered to all us kids!

“My Daddy was naked as a jaybird — no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy’s crack!”

“Miss Russell, we all been pluckin’ chickens since three o’clock this mornin!”

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: 12:59 pm.

Sorry, no puzzler this week.

ROTARY NEWS

GEARS AND BEERS IS BACK!!

February is Peace and Conflict Prevention/Resolution Month

Graphics by Debbie Vance

Week of 15th February

Howard welcomed a nearly full house (under COVID restrictions) to our weekly meeting, which kicked off with a presentation by Craig Gruber and three ambos from the Coolamon ambulance station (Nick, Kris and Tom).  Tom must be the low man on the totem pole because he was tasked with demonstrating the use of a defibrillator to revive someone suffering cardiac arrest (symptoms: unconscious, unresponsive, no pulse, not breathing or breathing abnormally).  Tom stressed that the first thing to do for any medical emergency is to RING TRIPLE ZERO (000).  While waiting for help to arrive, the next thing to do is to initiate CPR by pushing very hard on the breastbone rhythmically.  If a defibrillator is available, it should be used after rhythmically pushing on the chest.  Most defibrillators are automated, and will provide a series of voice instructions describing how to use it to restore heartbeat to cardiac arrest victims.  Tom and the crew answered a flurry of questions from those in attendance, who obviously found the talk and presentation very stimulating.  One of surprising pieces of advice was to push as hard as you can on the breastbone while performing CPR, and not to worry about possibly breaking ribs in the process (if you don’t break a rib or two, you’re apparently not pushing hard enough!). Dave thanked the ambos for a very interesting and engaging presentation, presenting them with CRC pens as mementos.

Following dinner, there was a bit of discussion about the upcoming clearing sale at the Munro property and the 50 anniversary party for Coolamon Rotary.  The evening concluded with a short fine session and raffle.

Rotary Rolls to Victory in Lawn Bowls

Rotary 1, represented by Albert, Daryl and Paul, rolled to an easy 17-8 victory over the Mongrels in the Business House Bowls comp on Friday.  They nearly took out the top prize on the night, but another team managed to edge their competition by a slightly larger margin.  The lights went out just as the last end was starting, but the teams were not to be deterred and completed the end by the the light of mobile phone flashlights.  Rotary 2 didn’t play because too many members were unavailable on the night.

REMINDERS

1. 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY MONDAY MARCH 1st,  6.30 for 7.00 pm

We have had a very good response to our invitations to our 50th celebrations on Monday 1st.  We now have over 100 attending with some 6 Rotary clubs and Lions Coolamon coming along.

We will be closing the bookings early on Monday 22nd.  If you have not already booked in please do so ASAP.

The Hon. Steph Cooke will be at the CRC’s  Shed at 6.00 pm on Monday 1st March to officially hand over the shed to our club.  You are all invited to attend and Steph will then be at the dinner following the opening.

A blast from the past:

2. NEIL MUNRO’S CLEARING SALE REMINDER

IN THE NEWS

Paul Weston in the Daily Advertiser this week:

Click on the above story for better vision.

POLIO PLUS MOVIE AFTERNOON

SUNDAY MARCH 7th – IN AID OF POLIO PLUS – 2.00pm at the Wagga Wagga Forum Cinema

‘Nomadland’ Takes Top Prizes at Toronto Critics’ Awards

“Nomadland” won best picture, best director for Chloé Zhao and best actress for Frances McDormand at the 24th annual Toronto Film Critics’ Awards (TFCA).

You can see the trailer here:

Nomadland Trailer

Following the economic collapse of a company town in rural Nevada, Fern (Frances McDormand) packs her van and sets off on the road exploring a life outside of conventional society as a modern-day nomad. The third feature film from director Chloé Zhao, NOMADLAND features real nomads Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells as Fern’s mentors and comrades in her exploration through the vast landscape of the American West. February 2021.

DIARY

Monday 22nd February – Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday 26th February – Neil and Clare Munro’s Clearance Sale starting at 9.00 am. Volunteers needed; please contact Dick Jennings for details on how you can help.

Monday 1st March – COOLAMON ROTARY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.  Please have your attendance in by Monday 22nd February.

Cost $25 per head catering by Gilbert and Di.  Dress code: women smart casual and men jackets and ties.  Please book with Ian Jennings or John Glassford bookings close on Monday 22nd February.

Sunday March 7th – Polio Plus Movie Afternoon in Wagga Wagga Forum Cinema to see the pre-release of “Nomadland’.  Details in this bulletin.

Monday 22nd March – Club Assembly. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

Happy Valentines Day

Cat got your tongue?

Click on the image below to see a most amusing real-life tech problem that ended up going viral!

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: Five hours.

This week’s puzzler: A scientist puts some bacteria in a petri dish at exactly noon. Every minute, the bacteria divide and the area covered by the bacteria doubles. At 1 pm, the petri dish is exactly full. At what time was the dish half full?

ROTARY NEWS

The future of environmentalism includes a focus on humanity’s well-being

We don’t need to trade a healthy environment for a thriving economy.

by Jonathan Foley

To some people, the term “environmentalist” seems to be a dirty word. In their minds, it denotes starry-eyed zealots who chain themselves to trees.

Or perhaps they envision out-of-touch elites who care more about spotted owls and humpback whales than people, self-centred activists who want to tell others how to live their lives, run their towns, and operate their businesses.

But that’s a wildly out-of-date assumption. Today, environmentalism has evolved into a much more helpful and engaging field. It’s a diverse community that looks to improve the lives of everyday people, as well as safeguard the natural world and our collective future. In addition, over the past couple of decades, rather than merely harping on the environmental problems facing the world, environmentalists have shifted more of their attention toward practical solutions. And they have done that by keeping the focus on people and their collective well-being.

FULL STORY HERE

The Environment is now Rotary’s  7th Area of Focus

February is Peace and Conflict Prevention/Resolution Month

Graphics by Debbie Vance

Week of 8th February

Another good turn out of 18 members at our meeting with President Howard in the Chair.

We received two letters from the Sport & Rec Club, one looking for a letter of support in a grant application.  The grant is to help them renovate p]arts of the club such as toilets.  The other letter was to ask us to make a decision on the pledge that we made to the club five years ago.  Our choices were to claim it back or to make it a donation.  The members decided to make it a donation to the Club.

We decided to ask Steph Cooke to propose the toast to our Charter members at our 50th birthday dinner.  Steph has agreed.  We also asked for as many members to be at the Rotary Shed at 6.00 pm on Monday, Feb 1st to thank Steph for the grant to build the shed.

Neil Munro’s clearing sale is being looked after by Dick Jennings with help from Dave McKinley.  Dick asked for all of us who are able to be at the sale on Friday, February 16th starting at 7.00 am.  There will be no roster so all hands on deck, please.  Dave will look after the plans while Dick is away.  There was plenty of discussion and a few good ideas discussed.  Breakfast will be bacon and egg rolls, lunch will be minute steaks and sandwiches, and tea and coffee will be available.  Neil said the day would wind up between 3 and 4.00 pm.

Other news:

Don Dyce said that we need articles in for the next issue of the Chronicle by the 15th of this month, please.

A roster was handed around to make bookings for the 50th dinner, resulting in a list of 22-24 members and guests.  If you have not booked please do so as soon as possible, thanks.

Albert conducted another spirited fines session fining Ted, Dick (twice), Dave, Daryl and Ian.

Another good meeting, which finished at around 9.00 pm.

Reminders:

Half yearly fees are now overdue at $150.00. Please pay Henk.

Request to man the Ganmain Historical Society Open Day on Saturday March 20th. Names to John Glassford, please.

Neil Munro’s clearing sale will be on Friday, February 26th starting at 9.00 am. Members are needed to assist with catering from 7.00 am.

POLIO PLUS MOVIE AFTERNOON

Wagga Wagga Rotary Club (the oldest club in the old D9700) is the host for this year’s Polio Plus fund raising movie.

Every year local cinemas have the opportunity to raise funds for any cause.  Usually in Wagga the clubs there raise funds for Polio Plus.  The movie this year is Nomadland and will be shown for charity purposes two weeks before it’s release to the Forum Cinema.

You can see the trailer here:

Nomadland Trailer

Following the economic collapse of a company town in rural Nevada, Fern (Frances McDormand) packs her van and sets off on the road exploring a life outside of conventional society as a modern-day nomad. The third feature film from director Chloé Zhao, NOMADLAND features real nomads Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells as Fern’s mentors and comrades in her exploration through the vast landscape of the American West. February 2021.

DIARY

Monday 15th February – Speaker meeting. Guest speaker: Craig Gruber, Team Leader from the Coolamon Ambulance Station.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday 17th February Next Board Meeting at the Sports Club 7.00 for 7.30 pm start.

Friday 26th February Neil and Clare Munro’s Clearance Sale starting at 9.00 am. Volunteers needed; please contact Dick Jennings for details on how you can help.

Monday 1st March – COOLAMON ROTARY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.  Please have your attendance in by Monday 22nd February.

Cost $25 per head catering by Gilbert and Di.  Dress code: women smart casual and men jackets and ties.  Please book with Ian Jennings or John Glassford bookings close on Monday 22nd February.

Sunday March 7th.  Polio Plus Movie Afternoon in Wagga Wagga Forum Cinema to see the pre release of “Nomadland’.  Details in this bulletin.

Monday 22nd March Club Assembly 

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

Paraprosdokians

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them! Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.   (Sir Winston Churchill loved them).

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you…but it’s still on my list.

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of an emergency, notify…” I answered “a doctor.”

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.

THE PUZZLER

If it takes five hours for five painters to paint five rooms, how long will it take 100 painters to paint 100 rooms?

ROTARY NEWS

Holger Knaack

President 2020-21

February 2021

In Rotary, 23 February is our anniversary, and February is also the month when we focus on promoting peace. There is a reason for this: Contributing to peace and international understanding has been a high priority for us since our earliest days.

We are often asked: “How can we get involved in peace now?” There are many paths to peace in Rotary. Our youth programs point us in the direction of Positive Peace, as does the work of intercountry committees and the Rotary Action Group for Peace.

Another path is the Rotarian Peace Projects Incubator (RPPI), an inspirational collaboration among Rotarians, Rotaractors, and Rotary Peace Fellows and alumni. Led by Rotarians in Switzerland and Liechtenstein, RPPI has designed 48 global projects that any club can support, either directly or through Rotary Foundation global grants. Nino Lotishvili and Matthew Johnsen, alumni of the Rotary Peace Centre at Chulalongkorn University in Bangkok, Thailand, are two of the many volunteers.

FULL STORY HERE.

February is Peace and Conflict Prevention/Resolution Month

Graphics by Debbie Vance

Week of 1st February

Another good turn out of 18 members at our meeting with Howard in the Chair.

Reminders:

Half yearly fees are now overdue at $150.00 please pay Henk.

End of the hiring of the Coolamon Community Hall for Bingo now Bingo has ended.

Notice from Steph Cooke MP that Steph will attend our 50th party and will open the Rotary Caravan Shed at 6.00pm on Monday 1st March prior to our birthday party, all members are welcome to attend at the Showground.

Letters sent to Cheryl Crocker and Sandra West inviting them to attend our 50th and to cut the cake both have accepted.

Billets required for the Batlow contingent to our 50th Party as soon as Batlow reply we will have numbers required.

The 50th Birthday cake has been ordered.

Meeting of the 50th Birthday Party Committee set for Wednesday 3rd February.

Request to man the Ganmain  Historical Society Open Day on Saturday March 20th. names to John Glassford please.

Howard attended the Coolamon Shire Council Australia Day Dinner.

Albert conducted a spirited fines session as usual.

DIARY

Monday 8th February – Regular meeting. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 15th February – Speaker meeting. Guest speaker: Craig from the Coolamon Ambulance.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Wednesday 17th February Next Board Meeting at the Sports Club 7.00 for 7.30pm start.

Friday 26th February Neil and Clare Munro’s Clearance Sale starting at 9.00am volunteers needed please contact Dick Jennings for details on how you can help.

Monday 1st March – COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.  Please have your attendance in by Monday 22nd February.

Cost $25 per head catering by Gilbert and Di.  Dress code: women smart casual and men jackets and ties.  Please book with Ian Jennings or John Glassford bookings close on Monday 22nd February.

Monday 22nd March Club Assembly 

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

THE PUZZLER

Due to the absence of Paul this week in Bermagui we do not have a puzzler this week.

Can anyone tell us what a mob of baboons is called?

ROTARY NEWS

RI PRESIDENT ELECT SHEKHAR MEHTA’S THEME 2021-2022

Incoming Rotary International President Shekhar Mehta urged members to become more involved in service projects, saying that caring for and serving others is the best way to live because it changes not only other people’s lives, but also our own.

February is Peace and Conflict Prevention/Resolution Month

Graphics by Debbie Vance

Week of 25 January

Our first regular meeting of 2021 took place on Monday, 25 January. IPP Daryl Breust welcomed twenty members and several guests. This was a general catch-up meeting welcoming members back from the Christmas break and an opportunity for long-overdue fellowship.  Grahame gave a rundown of the Monster Raffle, which produced a tidy profit to be shared among the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital, Allawah Lodge, and the club.  Thanks are due to the Monster Raffle committee for their superlative effort to make this happen. The meeting concluded with the weekly raffle, which was won by Chez.

AUSTRALIA DAY

Hope you all had a Happy Australia Day!

Click on Kylie or on the link below.

https://youtu.be/WP-39Qq4OQc

DIARY

Monday 2nd February – Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday 26th February Neil and Clare Munro’s Clearance Sale starting at 9.00am volunteers needed please contact Dick Jennings for details on how you can help.

Monday 1st March – COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

BOOKING FORM HERE

The main program is on Saturday and Sunday,  20^th and 21^st March in Bathurst, with a Welcome Reception on Friday evening at 5pm. The details for reception are:

The Welcome Function is an informal event being held at the Bathurst Motor Racing Museum at Mount Panorama, Bathurst which is at the entrance to the Mount Panorama Motor Racing Circuit. It is an impressive museum.

An informal BBQ Dinner will be served by Bathurst Rotary Clubs.  The cost is $27 per person and Rotarians will register and pay for the function on the Booking Website which will go live as soon as the District Board approves the finances.  Note that the museum is only able to hold 300 guests at the venue outside, with 200 inside being the maximum allowed under Covid rules.

 The Motor Racing Museum is a very interesting venue with a large number of racing cars.

 Drinks will be available for purchase from the Museum.

 The format is informal; smart casual dress and BBQ meal.  DG Michael Moore will make a short welcome speech at an appropriate time.

The conference will take place in the Bathurst Entertainment centre not the Convention centre as advertised above.

SPEAKERS HERE

SPEAKERS

JUST FOR LAUGHS

In recognition of Australia Day, this essay from Douglas Adams, author of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (a little long, but worth the read!):

AUSTRALIA AND AUSTRALIANS

“Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea.

Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the “Great Australian Bight”, proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can’t spell, either.

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.

Typically, it is unique in this.

The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them.

Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.

A stick is very useful for this task.

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.

A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died.

The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man’s proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories.  They also discovered a stick that kept coming back.

Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.

More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.

About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert – equipped with a stick.

Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on ‘extended holiday’ and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.

There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the ‘Grass is greener on the other side of the fence’ syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land “Oz” or “Godzone” (a verbal contraction of “God’s Own Country”). The irritating thing about this is… they may be right.

TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA

Don’t ever put your hand down a hole for any reason – WHATSOEVER.

The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.

Always carry a stick.

Air-conditioning is imperative.

Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.

Wear thick socks.

Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.

If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don’t forget a stick.

Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS

They pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”.

They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

They think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga”, but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”.

Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it’s a must-have.

How else do you get a stain on your shirt?

They don’t think it’s summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.

And they all carry a stick.

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: 1) sand box, 2) long underwear, 3) tricycle, 4) 3 degrees below zero, 5) six feet underground, 6) just between you and me, 7) split level, 8) life after death.

This week’s puzzler:

If an apple costs 40 cents, a banana costs 60 cents and a grapefruit costs 80 cents, how much would a pear cost?

JUST IN ROTARY NEWS

Taipei RICON now a virtual convention which is understandable under the circumstances.  The next RICON will be Houston 2022 then Melbourne 2023. {RICON Rotary International Convention}

January is Rotary Vocational Service Month

Welcome Back!

After a brief hiatus for the silly season, the Rotary Club of Coolamon is back in action.  The first board meeting of 2021 was held on Wednesday (13 Jan), and our first regular meeting will take place on Monday, 25 January. Below are some pics from our Christmas party, which was held at the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club on 19 December.  We look forward to seeing all Rotarians at our meeting on Monday; remember to confirm you attendance plans with Ian.

CRC Christmas Party

DIARY

Monday 25th January 2021.  First regular meeting for 2021. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 1st March 2021 COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY 

Details to be announced in the New Year.  Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: 1) sand box, 2) long underwear, 3) tricycle, 4) 3 degrees below zero, 5) six feet underground, 6) just between you and me, 7) split level, 8) life after death.

January is Rotary Vocational Service Month

Our Tracy doing great work for those who are in need in her home Kendu Bay in Kenya.

Tracy Monique

What can I say? God is good to me. He’s shining my star so bright, I’m in awe.
These are blessings that will set us up for success🥺🥺
My first outreach was a feat, and for the moments where I doubted myself, God’s mighty hand strengthened me.
The feedback from the workshop, astounding!
We shared Christmas packages to the 20 young adults we trained and spared 10 packages for our elderly.
Blessed beyond measure. Tracy.

Week of December 14th

Our weekly meeting was the last of 2020.  Much of the evening was spent scrunching up Monster Raffle tickets in preparation for the draw on NYE.  Hundreds of tickets were sold in Coolamon, Ganmain and the surrounding areas, which will allow us to make generous donations to the Coolamon-Ganmain Hospital and Allawah Lodge.  We’ll be selling raffle tickets for another week or so, and the draw will take place at the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club on NYE.  Kudos to the raffle committee, especially Brian, Grahame and Albert for their exceptional work organising the prizes and selling the bulk of the tickets.  We had hoped to hold the draw at the NYE festival in Coolamon, but unfortumately, the festival was cancelled because of COVID.  A fine session and weekly raffle rounded out the evening.

CRC Christmas Party

We held our Christmas party at the Coolamon Sport & Rec Club on Saturday, December 19th.   We were treated to a fabulous meal featuring lamb roasted on the barbie, similar to other roasts that John G had done over the years:

We had a great roll-up of members on the evening.  We’re hopeful for a return to more “normal” times in 2021, despite the recent flare-up in COVID numbers in the northern beaches area of Sydney. Best wishes to all for a joyous Christmas season and a healthful and prosperous new year.

DIARY

Wednesday 20^th January.  First board meeting for 2021, TBC. If required.

Monday 25th January 2021.  First regular meeting for 2021. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 1st. March 2021 COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY .

Details to be announced in the New Year.  Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: The fourth child was Tracey!

This week’s puzzler is a set of rebus puzzles to keep you occupied over the holidays until we resume in late January. Enjoy!(?)

ROTARY NEWS

NEWS FROM TRACY AND HER BIG SISTERS’ INITIATIVE.

Morning John and Fred,

Merry Christmas 

JUST FOR LAUGHS

ONLY IN AFRICA

Happy Christmas to you all from Paul and John

December is Rotary Disease Prevention and Treatment Month

Week of December 7th

Our weekly meeting focused on several items of business (Monster Raffle ticket sales, planning for the Christmas party, etc.) as well as fellowship.  Sales of raffle tickets are going well, but we have a few weeks left until the draw (NYE). Because of COVID restrictions, no guests are being invited to presentation nights at the area schools, so members will not be able to present our annual donations to the schools. The meeting closed with a fine session and raffle.

Thursday marked the end of an era for the Rotary Club of Coolamon.  After thirty years, the club has decided to put an end to our monthly bingo.  The club raised over $30,000 for the local hospital over that time, but the number of players has declined steadily over that time to the point that it’s hard to justify the number of person-hours required to run bingo.  It was fitting that Barb and June Inch won the majority of games on the night, given the support they’ve shown for bingo over the years.

OTHER NEWS

DIARY

Monday, December 14th – LAST Regular Meeting for 2020.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.  Don’t forget to bring your Monster Raffle tickets (and money) to the meeting.

Friday December 18th- Monster Raffle ticket sales at Coolamon Foodworks

Saturday December 19th– CRC Annual Christmas Party at the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start. Whole roast lamb in a roasting oven plus, bookings essential.

Wednesday 20^th January.  First board meeting for 2021, TBC. If required.

Monday 25th January 2021.  First regular meeting for 2021. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 1st. March 2021 COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY .

Details to be announced in the New Year.  Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

REMINDERS

1.  CHRISTMAS PARTY SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19th

Venue: Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start.

Menu includes whole roasted lamb.

2.  MONSTER RAFFLE TICKETS

Please return your raffle ticket butts and funds raised to Grahame Miles and Albert Suidgeest; Grahame would like to have these by Monday (14 December).

Keep selling the remaining tickets that you have and again these need to be in before the draw on New Year’s Eve.

Thanks.

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: From the letters that spell out 5 (F I V E), remove the first and last letters, which leaves IV (four in Roman numerals)

This week’s puzzler:

Tracy’s mother had 4 children. The first child was named April, the second was named May, the third June. What was the 4th child called?

ROTARY NEWS

1. ROTARY CLUB OF ORANGE

This is a great idea and a great way to raise funds for our chosen charities we support.

2. DISTRICT 9705 ROTARY YOUTH EXCHANGE

Our District’s Outbounder in Finland, Kasarni, who is sponsored by Moruya Rotary, has published her latest blog post.

Kasarni writes about experiencing Finland’s Independence Day, which commemorates Finland’s independence from Russia on the 6 December 1917.

Kasarni talks about the solemnity of the occasion and how it’s also a time to remember the soldiers who fought to defend Finland.

Read more about Kasarni’s Finnish Independence Day by following the link to her blog:

https://kasarnismall.wordpress.com/…/11/finndependence-day

3.  RIDE PATRICK D. CHISANGA

Last week, while attending the All Africa Rotary International Institute, held in Kampala, Uganda, I had the distinct honour of being confirmed by the President of Rotary International, Holger Knaack, as Director Nominee for Zone 22, on the Board of Directors of Rotary International.

I will be taking over from an extremely illustrious colleague, Yinka Babalola, from Nigeria.

The RI Director for Zone 22 is responsible for superintending Rotary work in all the 54 countries on the African continent – a very demanding assignment!

This is the very first time in nearly 70 years of Rotary’s existence in Zambia, that a Zambian has ascended to this distinguished role.

One of my passions in life is to render service to humankind.  I will therefore dedicate my tenure of service as Director, to advancing the work of Rotary in Africa to the next level.

In the photo above, I am seen in red tie standing next to Director Yinka Babalola and other senior African Rotary leaders.

NOTE:  Patrick is a great friend and I served with Patrick on the RFFA Board for 3 years.

PDG Patrick Chisanga standing far right with the RFFA Board in Atlanta in 2009.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

So, Santa needs a Rotary club if he is a Rotarian. Chris checked the International Directory and then the RI web site for Where Clubs Meet. Sure enough, he found a possible club. The Rotary Club of North Pole is in District 5010, Alaska, located near Fairbanks. This is a smidgen baffling since everyone knows the real North Pole is in Canada . Santa may prefer to be in the warmer south of Alaska rather than the north. He could also be a member of an E-club but Chris doubts that as he clearly likes Rotary lunches.

I just hope he does a make up at my club this year!

Words: PDG Chris Offer

District 5040 – Rotary Club of Ladner (Delta, BC) Canada

ONLY IN AFRICA

December is Rotary Disease Prevention and Treatment Month

Weeks of November 23rd & 30th

Club activities are at a crawl as many members are tied up day and night with harvest.  It looks to be a record-breaking year for most crops, so good luck getting the last of the crop harvested before Christmas.

Because of the large number of members engaged in the harvest, we have not lined up guest speakers for the past few meetings.  We will resume our guest speaker schedule in February.  The lull has given us additional time for fellowship, so the meetings have been quite relaxed.  Sergeant-At-Arms Albert has kept up the pressure on members to behave, lest they become the target of his fine sessions.  The members must be behaving because there have been fairly few fines levied for the past two weeks, but Grahame continues to cop his fair share of abuse.

Don’t forget get your booking in for the Christmas party, which should be a doozy.  The date is Saturday, December 19th–be there or be square!

OTHER NEWS

CRC BOARD DECISIONS

At the November board meeting of the CRC, the following decisions were made on behalf of our members:

1.  END OF BINGO: That the Coolamon Rotary Club discontinue the running of Bingo nights after the last Bingo on December 10^th 2020.
2.  CHRISTMAS PARTY: To hold the Christmas Party at the Coolamon Sports Club on Saturday December the 19^th.  That the event is to be self-catering.
3.  MONSTER RAFFLE DRAW: That the monster raffle draw for all 9 prizes to take place at the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club at 9.00pm on Thursday December 31st 2020. Albert is or has booked the following dates for the monster raffle: Coolamon Newsagents on Saturday December 12th, Ganmain Newsagency on Friday December 11th, and Coolamon Foodworks on Friday December 18th.
4.  COOLAMON COMMUNITY CHRONICLE:  That the CRC forms a committee to support Sally Farmer with the publication of the CCC.

MONSTER RAFFLE NEWS:

On Friday November 27th a wonderful effort selling the tickets outside the Foodworks supermarket and a total of $1,300 in tickets were sold.  Congratulations to Albert Suidgeest and all who sold the tickets.

DIARY

Monday, December 7th – Regular meeting.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday, December 7th – District 9705 Special General Meeting (via Zoom). 6:45 pm. The club needs to have a representative at the meeting.

Tuesday December 8th. Coolamon Late Night Christmas Shopping 4.00-8.00pm.  There will be 25 shops taking part and we will be selling monster raffle tickets.  Volunteers required.

Thursday December 10th – THE FINAL BINGO NIGHT FOR COOLAMON ROTARY CLUB. Allawah Community Centre, 6:45 – 10:00 pm. Roster: Henk (Captain),  Albert, Anne, Howard.

Friday December 11th– Monster raffle ticket sales at the Ganmain Newsagency.

Saturday December 12th– Monster raffle ticket sales at Coolamon Newsagency.

Monday, December 14th – LAST Regular Meeting for 2020.  Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Friday December 18th- Monster raffle ticket sales at Coolamon Foodworks

Saturday December 19th– CRC Annual Christmas Party at the Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start. Whole roast lamb in a roasting oven plus, bookings essential.

Wednesday 20^th January.  First board meeting for 2021, TBC. If required.

Monday 25th January 2021.  First regular meeting for 2021. Coolamon Sport & Rec Club, 6:30 for 7 pm.

Monday 1st. March 2021 COOLAMON ROTRY’S 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY .

Details to be announced in the New Year.  Our District 9705 Governor Dr. Michael Moore AM and PP Helen Moore will be our honoured guests.

Friday 19th-Sunday 21st March 2021.  District 9705 Conference in Bathurst.

REMINDERS

CHRISTMAS PARTY SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19th

Venue: Coolamon Sports and Recreation Club, 7.00 for 7.30 pm start.

Menu includes whole roasted lamb.

THE PUZZLER

Answer to the last puzzler: Give one of the girls her apple in the basket.

This week’s puzzler:

How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?

ROTARY NEWS

1. TOILETRY KITS TO HELP END TRACHOMA

This exciting project is not only continuing the great work of Rotarians in supporting financially the End Trachoma Project, it is also meeting the request of many Rotary Clubs and Rotarians about how we can make a hands-on difference. 

The result: The Toiletry Kit

The Aim: to prepare 2,000 Toiletry kits for distribution to 2,000 school children in 30 schools in the Northern Territory.

How: ask your Rotary Club to commit to making up a certain number of kits (see contents below) – this number will be matched to a school, or for smaller Clubs your effort will be shared with other Clubs to meet the goal for a larger school.

Contact: PDG Michael Milston to record your interest: 0419 414 959  | e: [email protected]

2. COOLAMON ROTARY 50th ANNIVERSARY

As you are all aware by now we are having our 50th anniversary of our charter as a member of Rotary International.  The anniversary is March 3rd 2021 our mother club is Narrandera Rotary Club.

The committee for the celebrations is looking for stories of Rotary in Coolamon some detective work is needed on this story sent to us by PP Neil Munro.  If one of you can write up how our club was involved  please send it to us, thanks, and thanks Neil:

3.Wagga Rotary women recognised for service.

Thanks to The Wagga Daily Advertiser.

JUST FOR LAUGHS

Be careful what you wish for

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go. You’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, “What does this do?” “You’re kidding me!” “Who would buy that?”

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I’d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for ‘Lovable Louise.” She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a “doll” took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise’s pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray.

I went home and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. “What the hell is that?” she asked. My brother quickly explained, “It’s a doll.” “Who would play with something like that?” Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. “Where are her clothes?” Granny continued. “Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,” Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. “Why doesn’t she have any teeth?” Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying,”Hang on Granny! Hang on!”

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, “Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?” I told him she was Jay’s friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa’s last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother’s garage, we conducted a thorough examination and found the cause of Louise’s collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

POSTSCRIPT

ONLY IN AFRICA

December is Rotary Disease Prevention and Treatment Month